jake5270's Blog - page 5

My mother passed away 23 years ago on May 7th, 2001.

At age 70 she told me something that remains an inspiration to this day:

"No matter how old I get,

I will always feel 19 inside."

Words to definitely live by.

~

A country girl will pee in the woods,

in a field,

or by a barn -

but she will not pee in a dirty bathroom.

~

Living with a dog consists of 90% following each other around,

watching each other use the bathroom

and wondering what the other one has in their mouth.

~

That wonderful time of year when my sinuses continually rotate between

Stuffy, with sinus headache

to

Runny, with watery eyes

to

Sneezing fits

to

momentary clearness, when I can actually enjoy the weather.

~

We used to watch the old commercial where the old woman was saying:

"I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Now, at my age, it's not funny any more.

~

I live in a town with a university.

Gas prices are higher here than surrounding areas.

Didn't used to be when we had two major factories in town.

Now they're gone and we've digressed into a college town.

If they would make an electric car with a self charging battery,

I would switch off of gas today.

~

I'm thrilled I'll be using my combination air fryer/microwave to cook dinner tonight.

Yes, my like is that boring.

~

The three rings of marriage:

Engagement

Wedding

Suffering

~

I saw today that I have the most viewed and most updated blog on NN.

But before I could get too prideful,

I noticed I'm also on the list for least viewed blog.

Cup half full?

~

Two ladies were sitting sipping tea at an outdoor cafe.

The first lady says to the other:

"I can see how you get Bob from Robert and Bill from William,

but how do you get Dick from Richard?"

The second lady smiles and replies:

"You ask him nicely."

~