NerdyBird's Blog - page 5

Today we had a little girl come through with her mom. She was not a crazy hell-child like we sometimes get, but she had her fingers all over our clean sneeze-guard, was hanging on the chip racks and tried to take money out of the tip jar (once she found out what the jar was for she tried to pull a $20 out of her mom's purse to add to the jar, so I can't really find it in me to be too aggravated, lol). As I was ringing them up, she pointed to my hair and said "Did you know that your hair is turning green!?" She was not trying to be funny, and was not really curious. She seemed worried more than anything. As she was staring at me, I leaned over the counter and replied " It was the leprechauns."

Now, most people would laugh. Hell, most kids seem to think that it is great, that a member of the fey may have messed with my hair. She just looked bewildered. I explained to her that leprechauns think it is good fun to turn little girls's hair green when they do not listen to their parents. She looked at me, looked at her mother, and huffed that at least Santa brings you presents when you are good.

Thankfully she no longer looked scared. I told her that she did not have to worry too much, as her coat would look lovely with a bit of green so near, and I think she at least caught that I was being silly then. Either way, she stayed next to her mother and kept her hands in her pockets until she left.

Thank goodness for the little people

An anatomically correct Lego

Just to start off by being clear...I did not write this.
I am not nearly this funny and I don't normally heat my toaster waffles.

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ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MY LITTLE SHITS

APPARENTLY NOBODY’S HEARD OF PROPER FUCKING ICE CREAM SANDWICHES SO I’M GOING TO SHOW YOU FUCKS HOW TO MAKE ONE

FIRST STRUT YOUR FINE ASS OVER TO YOUR FREEZY BOX AND GRAB YOURSELF SOME OF THAT SWEET WOMAN OF JESUS AUNT JEMIMA’S WAFFLES AND YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM. IF YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM THAN JUST GRAB WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU GOT IN THERE. IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY DAMN ICE CREAM THEN SHIT MAN YOU’RE OUT OF LUCK.



IF YOU’RE NOT A WHINY PANSY AND YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE BEING A HARDCORE MOTHER FUCKER THEN TOSS IN SOME OTHER SHIT YOU LIKE



BUT FOR RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO FOCUS ON ALL YOU PANSIES WHO WANT YOUR ICE CREAM UNTAINTED BY OTHER SUCCULENT TOPPINGS

RIP INTO THAT BOX OF SWEET AUNTIE’S WAFFLES AND FIRMLY GRASP TWO

NO MORE THAN TWO

JUST DON’T DO IT

YOU ARE NOT YET READY FOR THE COLOSSAL CREAM CLUB SUB

ONCE YOU HAVE THOSE TWO LITTLE SHITS IN YOUR HAND THROW THEM ACROSS THE ROOM SO THAT THEY LAND PERFECTLY IN YOUR TOASTER

IF YOUR AIM SUCKS ASS JUST PUT THEM IN GENTLY WHILE TRASH TALKING YOUR TOASTER BECAUSE YOU’RE STILL HARDCORE



WHILE YOU’RE WAITING FOR YOUR WAFFLES TO BE AS TOASTY AS YOUR CHOICE ASS RUN OUTSIDE AND SMASH A CAR OR SOMETHING

BY THE TIME YOU WASH THE BLOOD OFF YOUR HANDS THOSE DELICIOUS LITTLE SYRUP DISKS SHOULD BE READY FOR ACTION

TOSS THOSE FUCKERS ON A PLATE AND PILE THE CREAMY GOODNESS ON ONE OF THEM



COVER UP THAT SHIT WITH YOUR OTHER WAFFLE AND WHIP OUT THAT BUTTERFLY BLADE YOU KEEP ON YOUR PERSON AT ALL TIMES BECAUSE THE THUG LIFE CHOSE YOU

STAB THE BASTARD REPEATEDLY UNTIL IT’S PERFECTLY SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE BECAUSE YOU’RE A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER

http://media.tumblr.com/e1cac4bf3fdd1a3b9c5be7ef4a1001f1/tumblr_inline_mh5awxRBfo1qljnk7.jpg" class="embedded-image" >


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NOW FOR YOU SICK FUCKS THAT THINK YOU CAN HANDLE MORE TOPPINGS YOU’RE GOING TO DO THE SAME SHIT THAT I JUST FUCKING TOLD YOU TO DO BUT BEFORE YOU PILE ON YOUR ICE CREAM YOU WANT TO LATHER YOUR PEANUT BUTTER/ CHOCOLATE SYRUP/ WHATEVER YOU CAN FIND ONTO THE WAFFLE



THEN DUMP OTHER TASTY SHIT ON THERE AS YOU SEE FIT

YOU GET TO FIGURE OUT THAT PART I’M NOT GOING TO HOLD YOUR HAND THROUGH THIS WHOLE PROCESS LITTLE SHITLET



AND AFTER THAT JUST GO BACK UP AND READ THE PANSY INSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE THEY’RE THE SAME THING FROM HERE OUT

CONGRATULATIONS YOU JUST MADE A MOTHERFUCKING ICE CREAM SANDWICH AND YOUR PRIZE IS YOU GET TO GO DEVOUR IT LIKE IT’S THE BEST THING YOU’VE TASTED SINCE YOUR MOTHER’S BREAST MILK BECAUSE IT DAMN SURE IS

And, with good reason.

I feel like crap. And tomorrow is my last day off before maybe 2 weeks with no off days. I wish I could plug myself into something and recharge, lol.

Maybe we should go on, from this day forward, assuming that i will always be late on these things. *sigh*

Ahywhoo, here is mine


I could not think of a single quote or saying that I really wanted to use (well, not of one that would not seem to be depressing unless when taken out of context), and so I threw on something from one of my favorite songs, one of my favorite books, and one of my favorite movies. In that order

"Jas kana medess, medess anda latay"
"Nitwith! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"
annnd, "ZING!" (shut the fuck up, go-bot.)

Yep, that's as deep as it gets.

And, if you have not already checked them out, here are the other people who are participating:

hernhim1996, lovemybabygirl, MrCoverYou, Whispermyname, BuxomXhunter, guitartxn, MieleGattina, bighoss2, Hillbillys_Pride, Howlin, Bigtex0087, amancalledpony, bound_sighs, needsithard, curious48, ali_dee, 12gaugefan, nudiebare, unicornsam, Cotton_balls, Catastrophic, Safire13, Northern Star, nickey69, masterstoy91, milfmuffin, Army_brat_uk, Oceangirl, kricket187, arabella_topaz, Wrigley, fluffydawg, peachy keen, angelindisguise, sidders73, rockhard6isback, onib28, BBWBrook, petiteprincess, redvs4u, celticone, Uschi7337, ThicknHard1forU, and of course, tight_wet_lips

[url]http://bitly.com/bundles/rockhard6isback/1[/url]

I came across this and was reminded of a blog that tight_wet_lips posted a few days ago (one that I agree with, btw. Please don't take this at anything other than face value)

Tips are a sore spot for some, and being told that you *have* to tip is inappropriate. But, no matter how you feel on the subject, being rude to your server is never the answer. That person did not make the policy, and they are not responsible for anything other than the quality of service provided to you. If you do decide to provide a tip, that is wonderful. If you decide not to..well, please do so in a way that is not completely offensive! That is all that anyone asks, really.

Anywhoo, here is the article:


(A customer at an Applebee's restaurant in St. Louis left no tip and a note saying, "I give God 10%. Why do you get 18?"

I was a waitress at Applebee's restaurant in Saint Louis. I was fired Wednesday for posting a picture on Reddit.com of a note a customer left on a bill. I posted it on the web as a light-hearted joke.

This didn't even happen at my table. The note was left for another server, who allowed me to take a picture of it at the end of the night.

Someone had scribbled on the receipt, "I give God 10%. Why do you get 18?"

I assumed the customer's signature was illegible, but I quickly started receiving messages containing Facebook profile links and websites, asking me to confirm the identity of the customer. I refused to confirm any of them, and all were incorrect.

I worked with the Reddit moderators to remove any personal information. I wanted to protect the identity of both my fellow server and the customer. I had no intention of starting a witch-hunt or hurting anyone.

Now I've been fired.

The person who wrote the note came across an article about it, called the Applebee's location, and demanded everyone be fired -- me, the server who allowed me to take the picture, the manager on duty at the time, the manager not on duty at the time, everyone. It seems I was fired not because Applebee's was represented poorly, not because I did anything illegal or against company policy, but because I embarrassed this person.

In light of the situation, I would like to make a statement on behalf of wait staff everywhere: We make $3.50 an hour. Most of my paychecks are less than pocket change because I have to pay taxes on the tips I make.

After sharing my tips with hosts, bussers, and bartenders, I make less than $9 an hour on average, before taxes. I am expected to skip bathroom breaks if we are busy. I go hungry all day if I have several busy tables to work. I am expected to work until 1:30am and then come in again at 10:30am to open the restaurant.

I have worked 12-hour double shifts without a chance to even sit down. I am expected to portray a canned personality that has been found to be least offensive to the greatest amount of people. And I am expected to do all of this, every day, and receive change, or even nothing, in return. After all that, I can be fired for "embarrassing" someone, who directly insults his or her server on religious grounds.

In this economy, $3.50 an hour doesn't cut it. I can't pay half my bills. Like many, I would love to see a reasonable, non-tip-dependent wage system for service workers like they have in other countries. But the system being flawed is not an excuse for not paying for services rendered.

I need tips to pay my bills. All waiters do. We spend an hour or more of our time befriending you, making you laugh, getting to know you, and making your dining experience the best it can be. We work hard. We care. We deserve to be paid for that.

I am trying to stand up for all of us who work for just a few dollars an hour at places like Applebee's. Whether a chain steakhouse or a black-tie establishment, tipping is not optional. It is how we get paid.

I posted a picture to make people laugh, but now I want to make a serious point: Things like this happen to servers all the time. People seem to think that the easiest way to save money on a night out is to skip the tip.

I can't understand why I was fired over this. I was well liked and respected at Applebee's. My sales were high, my managers had no problems with me, and I was even hoping to move up to management soon. When I posted this, I didn't represent Applebee's in a bad light. In fact, I didn't represent them at all.

I did my best to protect the identity of all parties involved. I didn't break any specific guidelines in the company handbook – I checked. But because this person got embarrassed that their selfishness was made public, Applebee's has made it clear that they would rather lose a dedicated employee than an angry customer. That's a policy I can't understand.

I am equally baffled about how a religious tithe is in any way related to paying for services at a restaurant. I can understand why someone could be upset with an automatic gratuity. However, it's a plainly stated Applebee's policy that a tip is added automatically for parties over eight like the one this customer was part of. I cannot control that kind of tip; it's done by the computer that the orders are put into. I've been stiffed on tips before, but this is the first time I've seen the "Big Man" used as reasoning.

Obviously the person who wrote this note wanted it seen by someone. It's strange that now that the audience is wider than just the server, the person is ashamed.

I have no agenda here. I seek no revenge against the note writer. I have no interest in exposing their identity, and, at this point, I'm not even sure I want my job back. I was just trying to make a joke, but I came home unemployed.

I've been waiting tables to save up some money so I could finally go to college, so I could get an education that would qualify me for a job that doesn't force me to sell my personality for pocket change.

(these last two paragraphs were added at a later time)

While this story has garnered immense media attention, my story is not uncommon. Bad tips and harsh notes are all part of the job. People get fired to keep customers happy every day.

As this story has gotten popular, I've received inquiries as to where people can send money to support me. As a broke kid trying to get into college, it's certainly appealing, but I'd really rather you make a difference to your next server. I'd rather you keep that money and that generosity for the next time you eat out.

[url]http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/feb/01/fired-applebees-waitress-needs-tips[/url]

I always thought that Keanu Reeves seemed like a kind, down to earth man. Now I just wish I could give him a hug.



“This guy reading the newspaper on the subway is Keanu Reeves.

He is from a problematic family. His father was arrested when he was 12 for drug dealing and his mother was a stripper. His family moved to Canada and there he had several step dads.

He watched his girlfriend die. They were about to get married, and she died in a car accident. And also before that she had lost her baby. Since then Keanu avoids serious relationships and having kids.

He’s one of the only Hollywood stars without a Mansion. He said: ‘I live in a flat, I have everything that I need at anytime, why choose an empty house?’

One of his best friends died by overdose, he was River Phoenix (Joaquin Phoenix’s brother). Almost in the same year Keanu’s father was arrested again.

His younger sister had leukemia. Today she is cured, and he donated 70% of his gains from the movie Matrix to Hospitals that treat leukemia.

On one of his birthdays, he got to a little candy shop and bought him a cake, and started eating alone. If a fan walked by he would talk to them and offer some of the cake.

He doesn’t have bodyguards, and he doesn’t wear fancy clothes.

When they asked him about ‘Sad Keanu’, he replied: ‘You need to be happy to live, I don’t.’”

[url]http://www.likeyou.me/index.php/showbiz/the-guy-reading-the-newspaper-on-the-subway-keanu-reeves/1845/[/url]