I had entered these two different poetry contests on the website I used to self publish my books. The first contest was an anthology of poetry the second single poem contest. Well, I didn't win the anthology, and I didn't make the top 100 of the single with the five entries I put in there.
It is some what disappointing. I will contue to write as long as I have inspiration, but it makes me wonder if maybe I wasn't meant to be a writer. I have heard some poeple say my writings or more like song lyrics, and I have thought about trying to put some of my more melodic poems to music.
I love all kinds of poems, but sometimes in the attempt to be imagery laden or metapor jammed for impact. One of my good friends who I consider a great peer and challenges em to improve said I should think about going for impact verses. When they hit me I do, but there are times I feel like just putting it out there, what I'm thinking, without trying to make a person feel like they are decyphering a puzzle. I don't want the emotion to get lost in the dressing.
In the mean time there are possibilites for some big changes for me outside of writing. I have two friends who have asked me if I want to move with them. One friend is going to North Carolia and the other to Annapolis, Maryland. I like them both, they are good people. The first friend I worry about being in a living arrangement with him because I have seen the strife that he and some of his childhood friends have had living in a house together. I understand business is business, and money should never get in the way of friendship, but it just seems to me he tries to get over a bit, is very land lord like in ways.
The other friend, well to be honest I think it would be awesome to move and live with him. My only oncern is getting a job in Annapolis, and not being as close to my mother as I would like.
When my father passed away I had a lot of guilt. We had unresolved issues, and I made it a personal vow to not neglect or abandon my mother. We have a special bond. INthe back of my mind I think as much as I worry about her she worries about me in ways. I am her "baby". So many things, us being both being left handed, me being born on her father's birthday. We just have a strong connection. BUt I feel like I'm ready, so ready to go out and do my own thing, live. I have never regretted making the decision to be so readily available and close to my mother, but right now at this point in my life I feel like there is so much I haven't seen and done. I need to be challenged, be out of my comofrt zone, which attimes hasn't been that pleasurable, but it was known and accepted just for that fact. So we shall see.....
Have a great day and I hope all of your weekends are fun and full of joy and love.
A starr reborn
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