Most of the time I feel grateful I suppose that so many of you trust me. I really do try to do my best to make sure your experience here is everything you hoped it would and should be. Tonight I am having not a little issue with it but a big one. I do not know why I have been selected as the one that should be the peace keeper, problem solver, guardian of all you hold sacred on the site. In general I am more than happy to help. But let me tell you about MY day. I spent almost 4 hrs in the hospital for a routine appointment that should have been done in 2. I have been given the go ahead for the last of the maintenance treatments that will end the 2.5 year nightmare I have been dealing with getting my lymphoma under control. I then walked 5k to get to the govt agency that should have given me plates, ownership etc for the 14 year old car I just purchased but the computers were down so I get to do it all over again tomorrow. I keep up with everyone. I know as much as you care to share with me. I know more than probably some of your spouses do. I really don't mind that most of the time but when it comes to petty, he said she said, help me figure this out shit I want you to stop for just a minute and wonder about someone other than yourself. Monday., I have been given the ok to sit in the chair in the chemo suite. I will receive 4 drugs intravenously. I will feel like shit not just for the day but again for the next several months but it is the last time for now. I am burnt out. I am tired. I am here because I wish to escape the nightmare that has dogged me for so long. I hoped to end this part of my journey on a positive note and for the most part my real life is cooperating, Now if the rest of you would I would be eternally grateful. Exhausted, ju
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