It had to come to an end. Just had the most fantastic holiday with the shiny arsed one, finished with a very naughty and unexpected treat down the adult club on Friday night.
But I had to get on the scales again. I was dreading it, but I hadn't been too naughty and indulgent on holiday - just desserts and alcohol, really....so I was quite relieved that I only put on 2 lbs.
But I still don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I still feel very fat indeed ( lets face it, I am..) and I did feel very self conscious by the pool. TSAO took loads of photos, and to be honest I look elephantine in most of them. So do I go running to the Rose and Galaxy, indulge then feel a whole load worse afterwards? No. I do something positive. So its back on the waggon for me.
We are looking at next year's holiday. And I am looking at a bit of a surprise for TSAO as well for Easter next year. So...start now, feel much happier for then. So I have a new target - 4 stones (56lbs to the rest of the world). This will take me to what I was before i became ill. I wasn't skinny then..but i feel I need to be that size again. 4 stone over 9 or so months is do-able. I will blog the weight loss on a weekly basis and believe me I'm not going to shy away from this. When i set my mind to is, I usually get what I want.....this is completely within my own control.
So...first big challenge. Next week. The big 4-0 and a meal at a Chinese.....so I'm already working towards that so I can enjoy myself without having to worry.....I mean I am only 40 once...