Older friend who confounds me
3-Jun-23 11:33
Him (S): 60s, married with a younger woman, has children from previous relationship and current.
Me (M): 30s F, single, no kids
Before covid
We would meet up at a bar and hung out with mutual friends. He’d show up to town 2-3 times a month for 2-3 days at a time. Sometimes I’d bartend to help the owner.
One night I was working at the bar and stepped away to use the toilet. Came back behind the bar and the owner pointed to a freshly poured beer saying it was for me. I said thanks. S says he ordered the beer for me.
Me: Thanks!
Him: Say it properly! (Says while smiling)
Me: What do you mean???
Him: Say “thank you darling!”
Me: (clears throat and looks him dead in the eye with a smirk) Thank you darling!
Another night I’m in the back loading the glasses/mugs into the dish washer and he’s further in the back talking to the owner. At some point they walk back into the bar. 5 minutes later I turn around to see S behind me and he says, “I can watch you work all day.”
I met his sister a few months after befriending him. She looked at me and said it’s as if she’s known me forever because S talks about me all the time. Threw me off.
Christmas eve I was going to bartend. I saw him when I walked in talking to another couple, so I walked over just to say hello to him and keep going to the back to start working. Instead, he shoots out of his seat gives me a huge hug and introduces me to his coworkers and calling me his angel then taking me by the hand to go to the back of the bar to give me Christmas cookies.
Whenever he would show up to the bar, he’d either make space for me to sit next to him or would find his way to me then stay with me.
He flirts, a lot. It started to get to the point where I was questioning it. I brought it up to a few friends we had in common. All of them said that’s just how he is. But honestly, I’ve never seen him do it to any other women.
During covid
He’d still fly out to other places but couldn’t come to my city. But whenever we would video chat or text he always chose to do so when he knew he was alone, i.e., never around his wife or daughter. We never did anything inappropriate so Still don’t understand why. I’ve brought it up to him saying I felt like a kept secret. His excuse was that he was always busy.
Whenever we did get to talk on video chat the calls could last over an hour and were fun.
We used to talk quite regularly like 1 to 2 times a week through text now its once every few weeks and always extremely short conversations. There have been a few times where we’ve spoken on video chat, and he had to end the call abruptly and the look on his face is one of either fear/surprise.
Post covid
He came to visit with his sister (the one I’m friends with) and I just felt like he wasn’t really feeling it. Like after three years of not seeing each other in person there was no real excitement from him. I felt like I was wasting time. But at the same time, him and his sister were trying to convince me to move to their country (I’m looking to move out of where I am).
So, what say you?
Me (M): 30s F, single, no kids
Before covid
We would meet up at a bar and hung out with mutual friends. He’d show up to town 2-3 times a month for 2-3 days at a time. Sometimes I’d bartend to help the owner.
One night I was working at the bar and stepped away to use the toilet. Came back behind the bar and the owner pointed to a freshly poured beer saying it was for me. I said thanks. S says he ordered the beer for me.
Me: Thanks!
Him: Say it properly! (Says while smiling)
Me: What do you mean???
Him: Say “thank you darling!”
Me: (clears throat and looks him dead in the eye with a smirk) Thank you darling!
Another night I’m in the back loading the glasses/mugs into the dish washer and he’s further in the back talking to the owner. At some point they walk back into the bar. 5 minutes later I turn around to see S behind me and he says, “I can watch you work all day.”
I met his sister a few months after befriending him. She looked at me and said it’s as if she’s known me forever because S talks about me all the time. Threw me off.
Christmas eve I was going to bartend. I saw him when I walked in talking to another couple, so I walked over just to say hello to him and keep going to the back to start working. Instead, he shoots out of his seat gives me a huge hug and introduces me to his coworkers and calling me his angel then taking me by the hand to go to the back of the bar to give me Christmas cookies.
Whenever he would show up to the bar, he’d either make space for me to sit next to him or would find his way to me then stay with me.
He flirts, a lot. It started to get to the point where I was questioning it. I brought it up to a few friends we had in common. All of them said that’s just how he is. But honestly, I’ve never seen him do it to any other women.
During covid
He’d still fly out to other places but couldn’t come to my city. But whenever we would video chat or text he always chose to do so when he knew he was alone, i.e., never around his wife or daughter. We never did anything inappropriate so Still don’t understand why. I’ve brought it up to him saying I felt like a kept secret. His excuse was that he was always busy.
Whenever we did get to talk on video chat the calls could last over an hour and were fun.
We used to talk quite regularly like 1 to 2 times a week through text now its once every few weeks and always extremely short conversations. There have been a few times where we’ve spoken on video chat, and he had to end the call abruptly and the look on his face is one of either fear/surprise.
Post covid
He came to visit with his sister (the one I’m friends with) and I just felt like he wasn’t really feeling it. Like after three years of not seeing each other in person there was no real excitement from him. I felt like I was wasting time. But at the same time, him and his sister were trying to convince me to move to their country (I’m looking to move out of where I am).
So, what say you?
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