However she has always said no to this.She does have some desires to the thought but is quite closed book not telling me exactly how she feels.I think she is more worried about someone finding out and calling her horrible names. i was wondering if anyone can give any advice on encouraging her into giving in and making my fantasy become reality.
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Location: GB
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However she has always said no to this.She does have some desires to the thought but is quite closed book not telling me exactly how she feels.I think she is more worried about someone finding out and calling her horrible names. i was wondering if anyone can give any advice on encouraging her into giving in and making my fantasy become reality.
Thanks for your reply i,m not pushing her just gently steering her into that direction.I would never have her do anything against her will as it would,nt be ethical or enjoyable.It may happen one day unexpectedly.
With lots of reassurance, from her hubby and myself, she came round. First time I met them both for a coffee and a chat. It was a bit like an interview lol. I reassured them I was very discrete and that I was not a threat to their relationship and my pleasure was seeing the female happy and I had the utmost respect for her. I actually left with the feeling that we could be good friends.
I later got a message saying they had discussed further and they were now both very excited at the thought and were wanting to meet me again. We met up and although she was very hesitant to begin with, it went great. Her hubby was great and reassured her the whole time. Met them several times afterwards and we had some great fun. So lots of reassurance and also some understanding and reassurance from the extra guy, could go a long way to realising your dream.
Looking at your photos I can understand that
Im sure there are loads of understanding guys about. I wish i was closer. But if you are ever my way, please feel free to give me a shout and we can have that chat
However she has always said no to this.She does have some desires to the thought but is quite closed book not telling me exactly how she feels.I think she is more worried about someone finding out and calling her horrible names. i was wondering if anyone can give any advice on encouraging her into giving in and making my fantasy become reality.
i dont get this selfishness there are a lot of in the "sharing thing"
"YOUR FANTASY become reality"
cos she already told you its not hers
we do a lot for the ones we love, but are the things always best for relationship??
However she has always said no to this.She does have some desires to the thought but is quite closed book not telling me exactly how she feels.I think she is more worried about someone finding out and calling her horrible names. i was wondering if anyone can give any advice on encouraging her into giving in and making my fantasy become reality.
i dont get this selfishness there are a lot of in the "sharing thing"
"YOUR FANTASY become reality"
cos she already told you its not hers
we do a lot for the ones we love, but are the things always best for relationship??
Exactly!!! I'm just going to add this. It may or may not pertain to your situation. Even though it DID eventually happen with my wife and I with a few other men, my wife and I talked the next day after the 1st time and the one thing that was stopping her was that she was afraid of "enjoying" herself too much and didn't want to damage my ego. LOL...........She still, to this day hasn't admitted that it was a fantasy of hers to be with two men at once. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Either way, we all had fun, nobody got jealous, and our marriage is still as solid as it ever was. We still enjoy a healthy sex life with each other. She has told me that she fantasizes about me and her with another woman. Someday, that might happen. I have watched her and another woman in a 69 before and I so wanted to join in but it was made clear by the other woman (who was a lesbian friend) that she was not into that so I just enjoyed the show they put on for me. In the end, I think you need to take into consideration how solid your relationship is with each other and how important YOUR needs are vs HERS.......Mutual agreement on everything from sexual likes, dislikes, fantasies, what you are having for supper, how much money to spend on cars etc, etc, etc is important aspects of keeping a marriage strong in my opinion. Treat each other with equal respect and enjoy life.......even if YOU don't always get what YOU want.
She says won't ever happen but doesn't mind me telling her about it.
However she has always said no to this.She does have some desires to the thought but is quite closed book not telling me exactly how she feels.I think she is more worried about someone finding out and calling her horrible names. i was wondering if anyone can give any advice on encouraging her into giving in and making my fantasy become reality.
i dont get this selfishness there are a lot of in the "sharing thing"
"YOUR FANTASY become reality"
cos she already told you its not hers
we do a lot for the ones we love, but are the things always best for relationship??
Exactly!!! I'm just going to add this. It may or may not pertain to your situation. Even though it DID eventually happen with my wife and I with a few other men, my wife and I talked the next day after the 1st time and the one thing that was stopping her was that she was afraid of "enjoying" herself too much and didn't want to damage my ego. LOL...........She still, to this day hasn't admitted that it was a fantasy of hers to be with two men at once. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Either way, we all had fun, nobody got jealous, and our marriage is still as solid as it ever was. We still enjoy a healthy sex life with each other. She has told me that she fantasizes about me and her with another woman. Someday, that might happen. I have watched her and another woman in a 69 before and I so wanted to join in but it was made clear by the other woman (who was a lesbian friend) that she was not into that so I just enjoyed the show they put on for me. In the end, I think you need to take into consideration how solid your relationship is with each other and how important YOUR needs are vs HERS.......Mutual agreement on everything from sexual likes, dislikes, fantasies, what you are having for supper, how much money to spend on cars etc, etc, etc is important aspects of keeping a marriage strong in my opinion. Treat each other with equal respect and enjoy life.......even if YOU don't always get what YOU want.
There still is a social aspect to worry about. I really don't want my friends judging me for fucking guys that aren't my husband (don't tell them). I also worry about what the guys think of me. I imagine it must be awkward for them to be having sex with their friend's wife. That's why its important for it to happen under trusting circumstances.
Alcohol tends to get the juices flowing for all parties involved....
There still is a social aspect to worry about. I really don't want my friends judging me for fucking guys that aren't my husband (don't tell them). I also worry about what the guys think of me. I imagine it must be awkward for them to be having sex with their friend's wife. That's why its important for it to happen under trusting circumstances.
Alcohol tends to get the juices flowing for all parties involved....
As for the "Alcohol tends to get the juices flowing for all parties involved" My wife never ever touches Alcohol, everything she has done she has done stone cold sober "out of pure lust" I kid her.
Reading your profile (because this thread got my attention) I guarantee you that she's definitely thought about it, and most likely has had some interesting fantasies during private times when everything is quiet and thoughts are free to run amok.
There are two types of women in this regard... women who (whether they admit it to themselves or their SO) get extremely aroused at the thought.
(Needless to say, most don't act on it) and others that seem to view the ones that express an interest as an extreme threat.
This is a truth many men and women (but especially men) already know but don't realize they know until they have occasion to really think about it: Women have multiple reasons to be hesitant and ALL of them are valid concerns.
There's simply not enough room on the internet to even begin to list them. Think back to the days when you first began to think about girls as sexual beings....While us guys were learning the nuts and bolts of it all, relishing the thrill of newfound adventures yet to come, the girls were already well versed in all the social aspects and implications having been bombarded with the lessons from mothers, grandmothers, all forms of media, everything around them.
No doubt even well before puberty they had heard tales of woe passed along by older sisters or perhaps by ladies gossiping at church (maybe even by telepathy???)
And we were completely clueless! As a further caution for the would-be adventuress every female of a certain age most likely knew of more than one example where a lucky fellow committed a slip of the tongue , dooming some poor girl to a scarlet letter for several lifetimes.
You really couldn't blame them if they viewed us with the same sense of horror one would a chimp that had acquired a live grenade, LOL
Believe it or not I'm not trying to be negative or discourage you in any way.. Rather I applaud your enthusiasm and encourage your efforts. I'm merely pointing out that men and women think differently about this subject in particular because we have completely different introductions to sexuality for the most part. No doubt you're a.ready aware that they use language differently than men (think of the word "friend" for example, maybe 15 different and contradictory meanings? LOL!!!)
The potential to get off on tangents is considerable and I don't want to overload you with TMI.
My own experience is somewhat different than many as my wife took to it like a duck to water. Even so, I had to do some swift "splaining" because at first it looked as if she'd run away screaming. Some time later I found myself hanging on for dear life, LOL.
However I have conversed with others for decades on this subject in particular (because I'm a dirty White boy).
BTW, there's a difference between a "hotwife" and a "hot wife", albeit with considerable overlap.
I've gone on way too long here but feel free to PM me if you like. I swear I'm not nearly as pompous as I probably sound here, LOL