Alpina's blog post - Unexpected Tears

I made some fun of Puritan Americans in my last blog, and thinking about it all morning, I have come back here to admit that there are some leftovers of this Puritanism in myself. Because when Phillip was in Vienna over the weekend, he fucked one of the hostesses and I took it badly, more badly than I thought I would, at least.

I mean: he told me about it, in his male error that it would excite me as much as it excited him when I reported similar escapades. And he did tell me straghtforwardly, and I can see Helene suck him off and just feel pleasure for him. This woman, he said, was so horny that it oozed out from all her pores, and she virtually asked him to be fucked, he said. And she was also a swallower and asked for another helping once he'd cum (which didn't really interest me).

Why am I so weak - is it my pregnancy, my fear that I cannot give him all he needs in my state? So I was particularly loud when finally my orgasm came, but it was half lust, half dispair. And when I afterwards swam some lengths in my pool, I held my face under water now and then, to wash away some unexpected tears.