Alpina's blog post - I don't want to be a single mother

I have apologized to Phillip for being so direct - and I think he has understood my point, although my decision to use condoms again restricts his freedom and his pleasure considerably.

But I just do not want to spend my next 20 years as a single mother; that would approximately be my years between 40 and 60. I know having children is wonderful, I can see that with other people. But what I also see is women who ae alone and have to organise their professional lives around their children, whose careers can't develop because of their constant duties, whose private lives depend on nannies and babysitters, who are stressed and unhappy, and most of all, who live with the risk of being poor. All statistics show single mothers run the greatest risk of living in poverty.

But I am not really afraid of that ... as I am very far from poor. But the bottom line is: I just don't want to have my life dictated by a child I have to care for alone. So I'm giving myself two more years, maybe four - if until then I have not found someone who is ready to share my bed AND the responsibility for the next 20 years, I will remain without child.

There will always be young people around me at my job. I could maybe spend more time with friends' children ... as an aunt who spoils then and takes them to fancy places now and then.

So Phillip, I fear that you will have to make up your mind one of these days ...