I arrived back from Zürich and Angelika cooked for me and we had a good bottle of Italian red - - almost a little too much as I feel tipsy now and full of pasta and pesto sauce. It's half past 10 now; it was a beautiful day today and when I look out I can see the moon which is not quite round.

Last night I talked with Betrix long; before we walked along the lake and I told her about my thoughts and worries, and she was understanding, as much as one person can really understand another. Quite interesting: she advised me to do things also some friends here at NN did - listen to myself and do what I wanted most, live my sexuality freely and experiment with it, to find out if it was really Phillip I needed, or if I could find another man who could give my body as much and who would be the right one for my deep down wishes: have a family, maybe children, share a life. "My best advice is to continue your search for someone who meets all your body's demands as well as being a soulmate. While you do this continue to have your distant relationship with Phillip but when you use your powervibby let it not be him in your fantasy, think of lovers past and future", is what my understanding friend Duncan wrote in one of his recent messages, and his words were almost like those of Beatrix.

I will try to do that - live my sexuality freely, experiment, see if there is anyone who could give my body as much as Phillip - Phillip with the love spot .... now as I am sitting here, slightly tipsy and horny with all that wine, it seems to me almost impossibe that anyone call fill my void so well. I have done something weird - I'm going to tell you.

On my way home at the station I have bought batteries for an old mini vibrator I have not used in years. But tonight after dinner and before I poured my last glass of wine I have gone upstairs and have turned it on and inserted it - it just fills my pussy and when held by my panties it stays in and does its job - and it can't be heard. It's not fast, but I can feel its vibes well. And like this I went down to the kitchen and poured my wine and sat with Angelika, and whenever I felt it very much I hid my shivers and for example laughed loud. I know it's corny, but for long moments it stills this burning between my thighs.

And what's best - it's still in. Since I have started typing I have had one orgasm - when I wrote Phillip. And I feel it will come again when I write his name again, when all the memories of last week come over me again and my heart starts racing faster and faster - and faster. My knees flutter, and my thighs under the hiked up skirt tremble, and my fingers shake - so I can hardly type the magic word now ... Phillip. PHILLIP. P H I L L I P ...

I am going to Zürich today to see my friend Beatrix - I need someone to talk ... all is confused in my head and my body is hurting. Angelika is here, but I am not really close to her. I masturbated last thing last night - when I woke up my powervibby was still lying between my legs - I used it on myself again immediately. But nothing can give my body rest ... it was indulged so much last week, I cannot be without ... I need something to fill the vacuum between my thighs ... ever and ever again. But while Phillip fucked my brains out through the London nights, he never spoke about us, our relationship ... and he never used that most arousing of four-letter words on me: LOVE. In a break between two heavenly fucks, I meandered my way to the bathroom, I could hardly walk ... why should there be long dark women's hair in the brush and all over ... he's only been in that flat for two days ... but so many thing were not spoken of ...

I slept long this morning and swam a few lenghts in my meanwhile pretty chilly pool - now I am back to my old self. What a wonderful time of physical delight - what a weird and taxing time of unsaid words and unmentioned facts. And London, my London - town of towns, although we didn't see much of it because we spent a lot of time in privacy.

What surprised me very much and what had surprised Phillip even more was that he had just moved into another flat. He had got a message from the Editor's office about ten days before my visit, namely that another flat in the same building was free and that he could have it if he wanted it. It was almost double the size from the old one, much quieter and not so exposed to the sun, and with classy furniture.

Instantly I remembered the Editor's words last time I had seen him: "You know that I am very generous to those who are generous to me ...", and a thought hit me like a flash: I had presumably accquired this beauty with my own body. A blowjob and having my pussy licked on a yacht on the lake - for the use of this flat. I had wanted to tell Phillip what had happened on that day (see Sept.4, 2006), but now I could not.

If you wanted to see it this way, you could say that this lovely apartment was my whore's pay - but I was too confused and did not immediately know how I wanted to see it. Meanwhile Phillip was just very proud; he was sure that it was the great job he was doing who had brought him this delight, and maybe he is even right.

I woke up during the night, and when the thought hit me again, I had to masturbate till all my tension vanished. Angelika asked me in the morning if my sleep had been disturbed, and when I just smiled at her, she knowingly smiled back. I don't know much about her - I have no idea what makes her touch herself, or if she ever does it, and how.

It was such a sunny day all day, a wonderfully warm late summer's day. I cleaned my pool for a last time, and although the water is only 17°C, I had a good long swim. Angelika first watched me a little doubtfully, but when she saw how much I enjoyed it, she also undressed and came in. Afterwards we were lying on the hot stones and let ourselves be dried by the hot sun; again I could admire her absolutely perfect body, and I loved the way she was moving around in the nude without being in the least inhibited.

I have been packing my suitcase, I have chosen carefully for all possible situations, from a little black dress for the theatre or a concert to silk undies and different condoms for the bed. I try not to have too many expectations, and I expect to find total physical bliss - I am just very excited and I don't know what is waiting for me, how Phillip will behave, what he is going to tell me and in what way my visit will influence our relationship. When I say I am open for almost everything, I mean much more than only the orifices of my body.

The plane will fly from Zürich tomorrow morning - I hope the pilots will not be on strike again like at the beginning of the week.

When I got my mail out of the letterbox this morning, I could smell it: there was a scented letter among the flood of worthless paper, and it was from the Editor. He wished me a wonderful holiday, and he bade me to enjoy all there was, particularly enjoy Phillip and my time with him. And he hoped I would meet him afterwards and tell him what it had been like and with what wonderful surprises I had met. I will certainly do that.

I also got a picture postcard from Bali - Maria sent it and she wrote that she was enjoying a wonderful and relaxing time away from it all. She had prolonged her leave and would all in all stay away for four weeks. She wanted to see me, too, and the thought of that made my heart jump.

In the afternoon, when Angelika was away in town, I finally allowed myself to think of London and of Phillip - I had not done it before - on purpose. Bur now I did, and I savoured the fact that already in two days, I will be there and meet him. I knew what would happen when I allowed these thoughts to touch me after all: to be with Phillip, to feel his body, to smell and to taste him, to suck him off on my knees, and then to lose my mind again while he was fucking me for hours on end and taking me to the end of my physical strength and beyond.

My fingers started moving on myself as if by magic, and they didn't stop until I lay on my sofa panting, and moaning, and saying his name over and over again: Phillip, Phillip, Phillip, I am coming ... And they are hardly dry now ...

Angelika has been to a Jacuzzi session with Joerg and Elsie before (see Dec 9, 2005), so she knew them already and she had got on very well with them then. Thus she was not shy at all to undress and show herself in her whole wonderful nakedness before we went to the tub. It seems that I am entering an age when I can be but envious when I see a young woman's body like hers - unmarred by time and not yet subject to gravity at all. Her slightly chocolate coloured skin makes her look just perfect. Her wavy black hair is quite a contrast to her pubic hair, which is a most delicious array of very tiny curls the way you can find it with darker skinned people. She really has the best features of both cultures, and they make her admirable. Joerg couldn't help acknowledging the presence of so much beauty in his home by getting very hard, but Angelika just looked at it with interest and smiled her most angelic smile.

There was a lively conversation in the bubbly tub, and Angelika told us of her studies in Vienna and life there. Just that I almost fell asleep when I relaxed in the warm water - so we didn't stay too long. They invited Angelika to come to Jacuzzi next week again, even if I was absent. I fell asleep as soon as we were home and slept like a log all night, and when I woke up I heard Angelika in the kitchen making breakfast.

I'm back from my trip into the mountains with a group of our students, and I am glad it's over - with every year my pleasure in looking after kids for 24 hours a day gets smaller. The last time I told them to be quiet last night was at 10 minutes to three, and they were still excited like all evening, because it was the last time they slept all in the same room and thought this was so much fun.

We were not camping, as some have thought, but lived in a rather pleasant youth hostel. My colleague and I had a nice big double room and the food was provided for, so we didn't have to cook. When there was no rain, we went hiking, in bad weather I gave some creative writing lessons or we did instant drama or played games. Still, one is responsible day and night and also has to educate some of them, if they don't know how to behave during dinner or during leisure time. And what do you do with a red-eared 16-year-old who stands beside you washing his hands and says to your image in the mirror, "I just wanted to say, you have great tits."

Luckily Angelika, who has looked after my house in the last few days, has done some shopping and is getting some food ready downstairs. And later we'll go over to Joerg and Elsie for Jacuzzi, and she'll come along, too. It's not her first time, as some of you might remember.

Just a last good-bye - the suitcase is packed and the tickets ready. Angelika will look after the house well, I am sure of that. She already cut the lawn in the afternoon and swam in the pool. We had dinner and she is in the kitchen now. She will stay for about three weeks, then her holidays will be over, too, and the new term at her university will start.

Bye, and kisses to all.

No alarm clock this morning - no hurry to get up, just enjoy the warmth of my bed. Then feel the foggy autumn coolness on my skin and swim a few times up and down my pool. When I noticed the big fat frog swimming alongside me, I left the water pretty quickly. Should I have kissed him instead and he would have turned into a prince? I didn't want to risk turning into a frog, though.

Elsie sounded rather depressed on the phone last night. Whatever she had imagined to happen had failed. I could have told her that there was a big chance from the start that it would not work. I think on some occasions I even did so, but to no avail. To brighten her spirits a little I promised her something I have thought about long, actually it has been the idea of one of my NN - friends: once in the near future, and it will be on a day Joerg is not at home, I will take along my friend Aldo to Jacuzzi - some of you might remember him: he is the good-looking and particularly well-endowed Italo-Austrian with who I will go to a Swingers Club after the holidays. Promised is promised. I can instruct him easily how to behave, and he can be the ultimate test for Elsie of how far she is ready to go and what she is willing to experience. Aldo will certainly do me this favour - if I do him one, too - but someone who goes to the Club once can also go twice, can't she?

Now I'm getting dressed and leaving for town to get all the things I need for next week and some food for the weekend. Something I have forgotten to mention: Angelika, Phillip's lovely daughter, will be looking after my house in the next few weeks. She's arriving in the late afternoon and I'm cooking for her tonight. (I have mentioned Angelika before in my blog - if you're interested in her, you'll find more with the search function of your browser, for example on Dec 9, 2005.)

There will be a last blog tonight before I leave for some time. I miss being here already now. Kiss you all, my friends and readers. Kiss you particularly long and wet, my faithful Alpinists.

I am back from school already - I had my last lessons for three weeks. On Sunday I will leave for my camp in the mountains. I'll have my laptop with me, but there is only a small chance that I'll have any internet access. Next, presumably on Sunday, I will fly to London to stay with Phillip for some time; I do not know yet how long exactly - maybe for ten days. I'll be back here next Friday, so maybe I can be online then for some time and inform you for how long I will be away. London's so close now - it's going to be absolutely great, and I am not only talking about my body.

As I won't have much time in the next two days, I can only give you a summarized version of Thursday night. Ferdi and Erika were a perfect match: while he is obviously into dominating his wife and showing and even offering her to strangers in most humiliating ways, she seems to be masochistic enough to do what she is told and even to derive some pleasure from it, although I am not absolutely convinced of that. Maybe there are some darker circumstances which define their relationship.

He soon asked us what his wife could do for us, give us girls a good licking or get fucked by Joerg, or if she should maybe masturbate while we were watching. We told him not to hurry, we would see what was going to develop, but this was obviously not enough for him. And as he had seen Joerg's eyes signaling that he could do with a little fuck, Erika positioned herself next to him and soon had her hands all over him unter water.

Elsie was confused, she could not say much and had utterly lost command over the whole situation anyway; as some kind of tit for tat she moved over to Ferdi and thought she would make out with him a little. And I was condemed to be a spectator. But what I saw was certainly too good to miss. And what happened went pretty fast.

We saw Joerg get up in the Jacuzzi and Erika skillfully roll a condom over his hard cock. Elsie audibly gasped and after some moments of contemplation wanted to grab for Ferdi - but you should have seen her eyes when she noticed that he was not at all interested in her, but frantically masturbated under water. Opposite him you could see Erika move up and down in Joerg's lap - and moments later already there was Joerg's loud moan: he has always been on a hair trigger in such situations. And then Ferdi's even louder moan - he had cum, too, but unprotected into the water of the Jacuzzi - which is an absolute no-no under all circumstances.

We left the bubble bath fairly quickly, and got dressed. Then we had a glass of wine, but the conversation was not quite as fluent as before. They soon left. Elsie was not amused - but Joerg bravely maintained that the whole idea had not been his from the start, which was actually true. While Elsie and I were drinking a second bottle of wine together, there was an appropriate punishment for his apparent greed: he had to empty, spotlessly clean and refill the Jacuzzi, because we both said we would never sit in there again before it was immaculate and each one of Ferdi's rampant sperms had been exterminated with double care. So that's how the evening ended.