I absolutely love this time of the year. As I was out for a short drive today, I couldn't help but notice the leaves changing into the beautiful shades of crimsons and yellows. It seems to be a crazy time of the year to be a favorite for most. It is a time of change, a time of things dying and hybernating, yet it is my favorite. I love change of this kind. I am at my happiest this time of year! Seems as if my emotions are all intact and I can see clearly what I need to do and want to do with the rest of my life! I love the coolness of the morning air, the crispness of the evening air, the freshness of this time of year. This seems to capture all of what I am all about! It seems to grasp alot of who I am, alot of what I have yet to endure and alot of what I will become!

The thoughts of my children in their younger years, raking the leaves and jumping in them, me included. I am a child at heart! Those are the happy times I like to think of this time of year! Trick or treating, football games, bobbing for apples, caramel apples, the smell of a fireplace, popping popcorn and sitting under a blanket to eat it, stars shining in the dark black sky, decorating my home for the fall, carving pumpkins, trimming sunflowers, open windows at night to smell the fresh air as I sleep, going for a walk by the river to watch the changes occur, wearing sweatshirts and sweats,all brings happy thoughts to mind! My happiest times in my life have happened in the fall of the year.
On the ladder of my life, I feel as if I am only on the middle rung. Time is getting away from me and I am not getting any younger, but I have alot of time left to live! Seems as if when I think of the happier times, it brings a smile to my face! I hope my children know how lucky they are to be living in such a place as they do where they are free to say, do and act like they want to without reprecussions. I hope they have this part of me that I cherish, my ability to see the beauty in things people don't normally see as beautiful! I hope they come to appreciate the fall as I do and all it represents!

A little more than a week ago, my husband and I were faced with another tragedy. We lost his mother to a struggle with COPD. It really hits you like a ton of bricks when the reality of it all is that death is final! No more hello's, no more good-bye's, no more holidays filled with memories, no more phone chats. I have not lost any of my parents yet, and I hate to think of that thought,but we all are getting older as we speak! This one was hard enough to deal with. Things feel as if they are all turned upside down! I know things will be normal again, but please bear with me! I feel as if I am trying to pick up the pieces of something out of my reach....does that make any sense? I am trying hard to help all my family members deal with this in ways they are trying to deal on their own. Any advise would be welcome!
I want to thank everyone for your kind words, emails, e-card and lighting of candles for us and for keeping us in your prayers.It is nice to know that even though we are differnt people, in the times of hardship, you can find comfort in your friends!
I have developed many wonderful relationships while on NN. These I will cherish until the day I leave this world!

When I first read this, the reaction I had was uncanny. I can relate to all of these in the situations in my life right now. It is humbling to read it and when you stop and think about each one of these.....it is the absolute truth! Sometimes it takes things like this to make you realize that the star you are wishing upon is yours, and not somone elses.


I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have!

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them!

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened!

There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.

Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

Whatever happens, happens for a reason!!!

Hello everyone,
I am writing to let you all know I will not be on for about 10 days or so. We are taking our family to the east coast for much needed time away from the stresses of every day life! I love it there and hopefully can make it my permanent home someday! I want you all to know that I will miss you all!
Take care of yourselves!
Pray the terrorists stay far away from NYC! They seem to like it the best so far.
I Love you guys!! xxxxxxxx

Tomorrow my honey comes home! YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! It has been an entire month and a long one at that! Thanks so much to those who kept me "busy" during his time away....and you know who you are! I Love you guys! And thank you for your concern to his situation too and for asking about him! Things can finally get back to normal again for us.
xxxxx to you all!

I just wrote my final email to my lover for quite some time. This saddens me to no end. I had to quit writing because I could not see the screen for the tears streaming down my face. I am very grateful to NN and the lifelong friends I have met on here. And for me meeting him here on this site, and finding the one true love of my life! I promised him I would see things in a possitive light while he was away, but I may falter from time to time. Please know I will be myself again someday, it will just take time!
Thanks again..... xxxxxxxxxxxx

I have been having these feelings lately and I don't know exactly how to handle them. I am contemplating a life changing situation in my life. This is something that has been a long time coming. Doesn't make it any easier, but it is necessary. I have found someone on here that I love more than life itself. He is going to be traveling next week and be gone for an entire month. This saddens me so much! I am so emotional about this that it almost consumes my entire day! I love him so much and I know this trip for him is going to be a hard one. This is hard for me too. But for him, I know will be heartwrenching. I don't like it when the people I love are hurting. I feel totally helpless and that is not a feeling I handle well, being the type of person I am. I normally "heal" others and I can't heal him on this, so it hurts like nothing I have ever felt before! I want him to know that I am here for him always and forever. I may need to lean a little more on my friends on here while he is gone to keep my head screwed on straight! And when I am getting a little crazy, please set me on the straight and narrow as well!
To YSA.....please know that I will be here for you when you return home! You are my sunshine, you are my life! No matter how far you will be from me...I will always be near, look to the skies and know that I am in your heart because you are in mine!
I love you! I am your angel.....
To my NN friends, thanks in advance for what you are going to be helping me get through. I am so grateful for you! xxxxxx

I was sitting outside this morning on my front deck, watching my children play. The only sound I heard (besides nature) was the laughter of my children romping and rolling in the grass. I looked towards the sky and thanked God for giving me these gifts and being able to see them grow!
Being meloncholy as I am today, and it being my first ever blog, I wanted you to know how grateful I am for the small things in my life. Family, friends, health, my lover & best friend, my 6 senses, being able to laugh at myself as well as at others, and seeing the beauty that surrounds me.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. xxx