When I reflect on why I fantasised for so long about a bi MMF, I always come back to porn. I've often struggled to find porn I enjoy because it's very rare for the women in the clips to look as if they're enjoying themselves. So much of mainstream porn is performative, I find, not to mention exploitative. It's one reason why I love the videos on NN: you can see genuine women who get aroused by playing on camera. It's also why, many years ago, I found myself drawn to gay porn. I rarely watch mainstream porn nowadays but, whenever I do, I'll watch two men fucking. Of course, if I enjoy watching it on screen then I was sure I'd find it even more of a turn on in person.

Cut to five years ago when I unexpectedly found myself single and not in the right headspace for a new relationship. I realised it was the perfect chance to enjoy lots of casual sex and fulfil some fantasies. Or, as a friend of mine likes to say, tick some things off my 'fucket list'. And top of that list was a bi MMF.

So, I began dipping my toe into the swinging scene and joining sites that facilitate that lifestyle. Threesomes and group sex were on offer, and I had some amazing FFM threesomes with local couples until I eventually got tired of always being the unicorn. It was harder to arrange an MMF threesome, much less with two bi men.

Then, this summer, I had a rare week to myself and decided to make the most of it. I booked a hotel room for one night and started fantasising about who I could invite to join me. I knew I wanted a bi MMF but I also had a bit of a gangbang fantasy. My inbox was overflowing with offers, so could I possibly arrange both?

Well, it was something of an administrative nightmare, especially as I'm very picky about my sexual partners, but I did eventually manage it. So I guess this is the part where I tell you about the sex...

In the afternoon, I was enjoyed by four men but I'll save that story for another time. Because, in the evening and after a quick swim and some time in the sauna and hot tub, I was back in the room, showered, changed, and ready for more fun.

The two men arrived at the room having never met each other before, and found me in stockings and a crotchless/cupless bask. It didn't take long for them both to start kissing and fondling me and then for us all to end up on the king size bed with them both naked. I knew from our chats beforehand what fantasies they both had and they also knew mine. One of the guys had been exploring his bi side for a while and was pretty much up for anything while the other, younger guy was much less experienced when it came to playing with cock. He'd touched a few cocks and had sucked and been sucked in group scenarios at swinging clubs but he hadn't yet fucked a man and was sure he didn't want to be fucked himself.

They quickly started sucking each other's cocks while I kneeled next to them, watching as I stroked my clit. Then one of them fucked me, then the other, with lots of passionate kissing between the three of us. Hands and mouths were everywhere.

Eventually, I was on my back on the bed being fucked by the more experienced man when I suggested the other guy lose his gay virginity by fucking that first man's arse. I'd long fantasised about this: being fucked by a man while he also takes a cock. Is there anything hotter? Without hesitation, the younger guy reached for the lube and a condom then slid his cock inside the man who was fucking me. The feeling was unbelievable! The man on top of me absolutely loved it. I could feel his cock twitching inside me as he was being fucked, watched the ecstatic look on his face, felt him being pushed deeper inside me as the man behind him also fulfilled a fantasy. It's a mental image that I imagine I'll keep wanking to for many years to come, and eventually all three of us came hard, one after the other.

Round two was even better. I was exhausted and my pussy was tender after hours of sex, but I was still very aroused. Another unfulfilled fantasy of mine was double vaginal penetration - DVP. I wanted to know whether my tight pussy could stretch around two cocks at once. So, as I was riding the younger guy and getting very wet and creamy, I lent forward and asked the other guy to slide his cock in from behind, which he did. It was another incredible sensation that I'm reliving as I write this. Of course, I could feel myself being stretched, but the main thing I loved was being able to feel both cocks inside me, moving in different motions. We went really slowly so they wouldn't slide out and the men took it in turns to thrust while I was in the middle having an uncontrollable orgasm. I'm sure that half the hotel could hear my ecstatic screams.

After they'd both left, I lay on the bed, hardly able to believe that I'd fulfilled three fantasies in just one day. My first gangbang (more about that in another blog post), my first bi MMF and my first DVP. My first, but definitely not my last. And not my last visit to that hotel, either.

My exhibitionist tendencies mean I've often fantasised about being watched whilst having sex. My pleasure seeking tendencies mean I would also fantasise about having multiple men playing with me at the same time. My pussy, hands and mouth, all full of cock, all at the same time. Cock everywhere, and me in the middle, loving every minute of it.

In my most depraved of fantasies I would imagine both things at the same time. Two, maybe even three men, enjoying me in a public playroom at a sex club whilst others watch. Tasting me, kissing me, teasing my nipples, and me catching sight of other club members, making eye contact with them as I was being fucked by a stranger, while I sucked another's cock, while my breasts were fondled by a third person.

These fantasies played around in my head for years, bringing me to orgasm as I stroked my pussy or fucked myself with one of my dildos. Different iterations emerged as I held my wand to my clit and came hard.

In one I was in a dungeon in a swing, being fucked as I had a cock in my mouth, my legs strapped up. In another I was in a large bed, men kneeling on either side of me, fondling my breasts as I wanked them and turned my head side to side, taking it in turns to suck each cock while a third man fucked me, and then they would swap. In a third iteration I was just with one person, but we were in a public room and he fingered my pussy until he made me squirt, while a group of people watched through a window.

These images became so vivid, because fantasising is so much fun and because I wank so often.

And then, late last year I visited a local swingers club for the very first time, invited by a friend who attends regularly. I had no expectations, I had no plan.

It was a quiet Thursday night with a small group of friendly people there and yet somehow, by the end of the night, every single one of those fantasies had become a reality. Every. Single. One.

I have to say a big thank you to the five strangers at the club who turned my fantasies into reality, and an even bigger thank you to the people who watched it happen. I can honestly say that the reality was even better than I imagined. So much so that it wasn't my last club visit, and two of the men have stayed in touch and have since helped me to fulfil other fantasies.

As a horny, sex-positive, bisexual woman, I'm fascinated and aroused by the beauty of the vulva. When it comes to squirting there are always lots of questions so I'm sharing my own journey to squirting / gushing. Am happy to hear your comments and answer any questions.

I get very easily aroused and am also low on sexual inhibition, so even as a young woman I loved playing with my wet pussy. Sometimes I would feel an urge just before orgasm, like the need to pee, but I held it back because I was frightened of wetting myself and over the years that urge seemed to fade. I still had a very wet and creamy pussy when playing alone or with others (see my pics if you don't believe me 😉 but never felt that same urge. I would also find I got extra wet just before I came, a slightly thinner but still milky liquid from deep inside my vagina.

Cut to many years later, in a short term relationship with a guy who adored my clit. He would suck on it and lick it for hours on end, making me cum over and over. During one such session, and after several orgasms, I suddenly felt that same urge and then felt this hot, wet liquid between my legs. I was in shock because I didn't know I could do that, but the smile on his very wet face was a massive turn on.

And that was that, it didn't happen again until around 2 years later. It was my first time with a guy who was an experienced swinger and really knew his way around a woman's body. He was fingering me as I straddled him and started to rub the front of my vaginal wall, near to my g-spot. I felt that urge again when he looked up, smiled and told me to relax as he was going to make me squirt. So I did, I fully relaxed into the sensation of his hand inside me, cleared my head, and shortly after gushed a clear, sweet liquid all over his hand and body and even onto the floor. It came from near the entrance to my vagina, not from deep inside (my skene's glands, I've since learned) and was clearer and more liquid than my usual lubrication.

It felt amazing!! The feeling isn't the same as an orgasm, it's more of a release. Over time I've realised that if someone carries on playing with the same spot after I gush or squirt then I can have a deep and intense, thigh trembling orgasm. But that doesn't always happen. That guy repeated the action 4 more times that night. So I went from only having squirted once in my life before to doing it 5 times in one night!

Since then I have really honed my squirting skills. I've bought myself an njoy stainless steel toy which works, literally in seconds. My glass dildo hits the spot too. I've also made myself gush with my hands during a solo yoni massage. I've also met several men, though no women as yet, who've been able to make me gush with their hands or tongue. I gush less during penetration from a penis, but it can happen if the angle is right and I'm super aroused.

Now I know how to squirt I don't want to stop and I love it when someone asks me to squirt all over their face.

Of course, every woman's body is different, but here's what works for me:
1. Peeing right before sex so I know my bladder is empty and I'm not holding anything in. That allows me to relax into the sensation and not hold back (FYI, it isn't pee. Science just hasn't come up with an answer as to what squirting is because women's sexual functions are notoriously under-researched. The massive explosions of liquid you see in mainstream porn are likely just pee, regular squirting isn't, although some small amounts of urine can mix in).

2. Making sure I'm not worried about making a mess. I have a waterproof pet blanket from a well know online store so I know I can gush to my heart's content and not ruin the sheets.

3. Knowing my body and where to apply pressure. My urethral sponge (a soft, fleshy area near my g-spot) swells when aroused. Finding that and stimulating it with a toy or a finger usually does the trick for me, as does intense clitoral stimulation (at an intensity that I can rarely handle, tbh) or sometimes both.
Being fully relaxed, open and uninhibited matters most. If there's even the slightest bit of stress or discomfort then I just don't squirt

And finally, why do some women squirt and some gush? Well I do both and for my body it's the speed the liquid comes out. I mostly gush, in that it flows out of me and runs down my legs, but the more I do it the more I'm squirting and there's something very satisfying about that explosion of liquid. Especially when squatting over someone's face.

I've had exhibitionist tendencies ever since I became sexually active. There's something about being naked that I enjoy in general, and other people desiring my naked body is incredibly arousing. In my early 20s I started thinking a lot about how much I'd love to be in magazines. Page 3, Playboy, Fiesta, all those 90s outlets for naked women.

I was backpacking around New Zealand 20 years ago, running short of money and finding it hard to find work on my working holiday visa. Then I saw an advert in a paper for dancers at a popular strip club. It's something I'd always thought about, and now I was on the opposite side of the world where nobody knew me. It seemed perfect.

I called that number the same day and arranged to go along the next afternoon to meet the owner. As I arrived, there were a group of women in underwear practising a dance routine on stage. He explained I wouldn't do these dance routines, but he could offer me short term work as a pole dancer and I could start that very night.

Because I'd never done it before, the told me to take all my clothes off to make sure I was comfortable naked. That's not something that has ever bothered me so I stood up and removed all my clothes, left them on a bar stool and stood there, bare foot and naked. Nobody paid much attention: the cleaners, the bar staff stocking up, the girls dancing, all just carried on with what they were doing while I craved their eyes to peruse my naked body. He then took me over to introduce me to the girls, arranged for one of them to lend me some heels, a bikini and a skimpy dress (not something you would normally carry in a backpack whilst travelling), and told me to return at 7.30pm that night to start work. He then left me with the girls to be taught some basic moves on the pole, and left.

They explained how the night worked. I would select some music, 4 songs to strip to, and one by one we could go on stage and dance to our songs. The first song I would remove the dress, the second the bikini top, during the third song I would unclip the g-string at the sides, and then the final song I'd be fully naked, except for heels and a garter (where the audience could stuff money). I was to walk around, encourage men to touch my breasts, let them slap my bum, and generally flirt and show myself off on the hope of being invited for lap dances, as that is how you made money. It certainly wasn't the 'no touching' rule I had expected, but I also found the idea of strangers hands on me very erotic. There was a 'don't touch the pussy' rule and security staff on hand so I felt safe enough.

The rest of the evening we were to sit in the bar area, chatting to the customers, trying to get lap dances, and watching the other girls on stage. It was a long shift - the club was open all night, and the only pay was your tips and a percentage of the lap dance charge, but it was always something I'd wanted to do so I decided to be bold.

I returned that night, was shown to the room upstairs where the girls changed, got changed, and suddenly found myself in very high heels and a tiny bikini, sitting in a bar with a group of similarly dressed women, my large breasts entirely unsupported by the tiny bikini top and jiggling every time I moved, as we waited for the customers to arrive.

It was just before Christmas, so even though it was a week night they were expecting a busy night full of groups celebrating Christmas nights out. And I was going to be dancing naked in front of all of them, and hopefully dancing privately for some too. I could barely contain my excitement about being sexualised in this way, and I didn't have long to wait until the first customers arrived.

I did two lap dances that night. The first one I kept the g-string on and grinded on the guy's cock until I made him cum, right there in his jeans. For the second one the man just asked me to sit on his lap while naked as he stroked my inner thigh with one hand, fondled my breasts with the other, and told me all the different ways he wanted to fuck me. Both moments felt very intimate, very erotic, and here I was being paid for that.

I didn't go back for a second night as the hours were long, the pay not great, and I found a job that was better suited to my skills and expertise. But I've never forgotten that night, those two private dances, and all the people who watched me dance naked and payed for the pleasure.