Just living life one day at a time, the best I can. Don't say it if you don't mean it.
- 63 years old
- Female
- Joined 17 years ago
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Be4andAfter's Blog
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Thursday, January 31, 2008, 1:34:11 PM- Let it snow! | ||||||
We are supposed to get 6" t 9" of snow tonight. I want a partner to play with while I am snowed in! We won't be playing Monopoly or yahtzee either. I am thinking along the lines of "post office". | ||||||
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Thursday, January 31, 2008, 2:38:11 AM- Baby milestones | ||||||
She turned one on the 19th. Since then she says her first real word "yeah" Learned to wave Bye-bye Got her first tooth.. Not much to some, but fun for me! | ||||||
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008, 1:36:03 AM- Winter blew in quickly- | ||||||
A noon today the temp was 69 degree's F. By 3:30pm is was 28 degree's F. I definitely need a snuggle partner to warm up my naughty bits. | ||||||
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Tuesday, January 29, 2008, 1:53:54 AM- Dogs & Cats are better than kids because they: | ||||||
1. Eat less 2. Don't ask for money all the time 3 Are easier to train 4. Normally come when called 5. Never ask to drive the car 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends 7. Don't smoke or drink 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions 9. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college. | ||||||
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Monday, January 28, 2008, 2:10:46 AM- Great Day | ||||||
Today was so uplifting for my soul. Thank you I needed that! | ||||||
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Sunday, January 27, 2008, 4:48:18 PM- Winter thaw | ||||||
Mother nature is fooling with us again. Last sunday we were at 5 degree's F. Today it is 60 degree's F. I am sure we will pay for this great weather soon, but for now the Baby & I are going out to enjoy the sunshine! I hope everyone can get a warm day of sunshine or at least the feeling it gives today! | ||||||
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Saturday, January 26, 2008, 1:37:57 AM- I need to find a man from Texas! | ||||||
A traveling salesman visiting a small town in rural Texas saw a circus banner reading: "Don't Miss The Amazing Texan". The salesman was curious, so he bought a ticket. The tent went dark. Suddenly, trumpets blared, the lights came up, and all eyes turned to the center ring. There was revealed a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to the table was an old retired cowboy. Suddenly, the old cowboy unzipped his jeans, whipped it out, and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause, and the elderly Texan was carried off on their shoulders. Ten years later, the salesman visits the same little town, and he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same banner warning: "Don't Miss the Amazing Texan". He can't believe the old guy is still alive, much less still doing his act. So he buys a ticket. Again, when the center ring is illuminated, there stand the table and the old cowboy. But ! this ti me, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are placed on the table. The old guy stands before them, then suddenly unzips his fly, whips it out, and smashes the coconuts with three amazing swings. The crowd goes wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requests a meeting with him after the show. "You're incredible," he tells the old Texan, "but I have to know something. You're older now, so why in the world would you switch from walnuts to coconuts?" "Well," says the old cowboy, "my eyes ain't what they used to be." | ||||||
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Friday, January 25, 2008, 2:22:29 AM- Pop Quiz | ||||||
The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it! 1. This is this cat. 2. This is is cat. 3. This is how cat. 4. This is to cat. 5. This is keep cat. 6. This is an cat. 7. This is old cat. 8. This is fart cat. 9. This is busy cat. 10. This is for cat. 11. This is forty cat. 12 This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down **You still read it out loud didn't you?** | ||||||
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Thursday, January 24, 2008, 2:27:27 AM- Someone once said- | ||||||
Too soon old, Too late smart... Today I agree | ||||||
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008, 2:08:05 AM- Life's Rules | ||||||
1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's. 2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.. 3. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here. 4. I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. 5. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 6. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner. 7. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"? 8. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. 9. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. 10. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. 11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 12. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys. 13. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect. 14. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. 15. That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have "Schiffer Brains." 16. No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team is winning. 17. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? 18. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. 19. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? 20. Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 21. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? 22. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled. 23. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been. | ||||||
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