Hello all,

My "Name" is Bea, and I will be 50 shortly. I am happily married, (I know you are all asking yourselves why is she here, that is coming shortly) and I am not looking for a penis or a man, sorry.

I am here because this is a journey of me. A few months back my therapist asked me what was something that would make me feel good. I couldn't honestly answer her because I had never really given any thought about what it was that made me feel good about myself. So here I was, a mother of four adult children, who had all moved out and now have their own lives, trying to figure out what in the hell it was that would make me feel good about myself. I never in a million years imagined I would find myself here.

That night as I sat on the couch with my husband and watched tv, I found that I was thinking about what my therapist said and at that moment what came to mind was not something that I would ever have thought of doing, I wanted to make my husband watch me play with my pussy while we sat on the couch. I was shocked at first and felt my face getting a little heated with the thought. I looked over at my husband and was hoping he hadn't noticed the change in my nipple perkiness, because when I get turned on they like to give me away. He was actually asleep, I was kind of upset and relieved that he hadn't noticed. I went back to watching tv.

A few minutes later I found my mind wandering back to my therapist's question and what I had just thought of. This time my face did not start to get heated, thankfully, I started to think about what I would do while he watched me, and how it would feel to touch my cool hand to my very warm pussy. This time my nipples were not able to keep themselves under control, and the tight thin fabric of the sun dress I wear just incase one of my children show up unannounced was doing very little to hide them. I glanced over at my husband again, and he was still sound asleep.

Now I was starting to wonder if I could be a little naughtier.

It was chilly out and I had a light blanket over my legs as I sat on the couch, it allowed just enough space for me to put my hand down between my legs to my exposed pussy lips. I could feel the heat coming off it before I touched it, my fingers felt cold in comparison. My husband shifted and I froze for a second, holding my breath, waiting for him to open his eyes, or remain asleep. As quickly as he moved, he was still again, I let my breath out and began to relax. I uncurled the fist I had unknowingly made under the blanket and let my fingers begin to wander again. They were still cool against my soft, shaven lips. It felt as if my fingers were gliding over silk, slowly stroking, two fingers on either side of my slit. Starting at the very bottom and working my way up to my clit, but never touching my clit or inserting a finger. It felt so good, and I felt so guilty at the same time. How could I be doing this with my husband sleeping right beside me on the couch? How could I be liking this so much??? My husband moved again and I stopped for a few minutes.

Once I was sure he was asleep, his snoring gives him away, I decided I was going to see how far I was daring to go. This time I did not go straight for the prize, I wanted to tease myself. I knew my hands were cold again, thanks poor circulation (okay, maybe not), I new my nipples were no longer really hard and I wanted to see how they liked my cold hands. With the hand that was farthest away from sleeping beauty, I slowly moved towards my waiting nipple. I gently caressed the left and then the right one, and they responded with an immediate sharp twinge. OMG were they hard, it felt good, but I wanted more. I took my fingers and made them flat and ran them quickly almost as if to flick them up and down with my hand and they got harder. I could feel the rest of my body start to respond. This time with my index finger and thumb I took my nipple and pinched it as hard as I could. the pain felt so good, and I wanted more. I also wanted to know what it was causing to happen between my legs and my tight silky pussy lips.

I positioned myself on the couch so that my husband was a little bit away from me, if he woke up he wouldn't know I was rubbing my pussy at all. With my left hand I began to tease my nipples, pinching them and twisting them with my thumb and index finger, pulling them and rubbing them, trying not to get to carried away. My right hand moved down under the blanket between my legs to my waiting, throbbing pussy. It was as silky smooth as it had been a few minutes ago when I first touched it. This time there was a lot more heat, and an underlying sense of wetness. I began to massage my lips. I slowly ran my middle finger and ring ringer on either side of my waiting slit, just barely touching it, teasing it, working my way up to my clit, but avoiding it, because I did not want to be done yet. I had stopped teasing my nipples and moved my left hand down below the blanket. It too began playing with my slit, slowly rubbing on either side of it, but never actually touching it. My clit began to swell under the teasing, and I knew I had to see just how wet my pussy was at that moment. As my hands moved down my lips to begin their accent back up to my slightly enlarged clit, but this time the index finger on both hands slowly slid between my swollen lips and found the waiting wetness running down my slit into the crack of my ass.

My fingers slid further into my wet pussy moving more of my pussy juice onto my fingers, hands and pussy. I was so wet you could hear my fingers moving into the wetness with each rub, and it turned me on more. Two more fingers found their way into my pussy and my clit was throbbing for attention. I was moving my thumb up to give my clit the attention it was asking for, when I stopped. I adjusted my position, and moved back over next to my husband, and started watching tv again. What happens next is for later....