I went to my dear friends home..while she was at work (with her permission of course) and spent the day in her hot tub..it was wonderful. It was like spring. Warm, and I even got a lil sunburn..which doesn't last long when you are dark complected like me. I hate being white..don't get me wrong..my best friend is white..and she is beautiful. so I am not putting down pale people. So with me, I just feel better about myself, always gives me a lil more confidence.I stayed in the hot tub for 3 1/2 hours..and when I came home, Jack said, 'what's for supper?'..well, you can imagine what I said..lol..he had clarks steaks and fries..lol..I took a long bubble bath and went to bed..and slept..for once..but it did make me feel better..my friend has a lil jack ass in her back field and he comes up to the hot tub to visit me..he is adoraditable, and when he sees me drive up he hee haws long and loud..lol..and when I leave he does the same. Sad part is..I call him Jack too..lmao..hubby doesn't get it..lol..but I am really tired of the pain, the sadness, the drama in life..I am sooo carefree..and when I get hurt..it hits me like a ton of bricks..soo..I do feel a lil better. Take care..kisses to all...

SouthernpeachXXX, where the hell are you??

Berri

Sorry..I have been soooo busy...we had another death..and it was tooo weird to talk about..but I can say with surprise it was someone that my Cheryl cared sooo much about..and now he is with her..at least they are together...she getting alot of company up there..I am still a lil shocked..but wow..what a way to start off the year..

kisses to all...Berri

WOWOWOW..it's almost 9pm and things are still quiet..of course we had one hell of a storm with a wild wind (tornado warning and hail) and loud thunder for three hours..but hey..I am still here..soooo I am berry happy..lol..
kisses..Berri

I will stay in the house..and do absolutely nothing..friday the 13th is the worst day I have everytime I venture out and do anything..something always happens...so I will post tomorrow nite
and let you know if anything has happened..lmao...

ttfn..kisses...Berri

OMG..I PASSED..MY STRESS TEST, I MEAN..I PASSED..I AM NOW FIT FOR WELL..GEE..I WONDER WHAT I AM FIT FOR..LOL..IF ONLY YA'LL KNEW..MAYBE I WILL TELL NEXT GO ROUND..NOT NOW..TOOOO DEPRESSING..AND I AM TOO EXCITED..I AM GONNA FUCT* MY HUBBY'S EYES OUT TONITE!!!

KISSES...BERRI

*I USE THIS WORD INSTEAD OF THE 'F' WORD SO IT DOESN'T SOUND SO..UMMM...CRUDE...LOL..I WILL HAVE TO TELL YA ABOUT THAT TOO..LOVE YA

We had a wonderful Christmas..and a great New Years Party..I got smashed as usual..lol..but lord I do have a good time with our swing life friends..they accept anything you do..and help you when you need it..Thank God for them all..Peach and Mistres were at the party and they can tell ya..we alllll had a blast..hope you all had a wonderful new years eve..and I pray you have a wonderful coming year..I know we will..

Bless you all...kisses..
Berri

I had my two daughters here with three other friends from out l/s for dinner cause I didn't want them to be without anyone on Christmas day..so it turned out so much better than I expected..then Monday our daughters were here most of the day..we talked alot..seriously..and then laughed alot..they are sooo comical when together..makes me kinda wish they were together all the time..but I know that cannot be. My oldest spent the nite with her baby sister..and they had a great time. She came home real down this morning..but her sister did cheer her up..by taking her out looking for a job..lol..what an awful time to look but hey, it did make her (and me) feel better. So now we are all off to a new time..a new start..and hope for the best..but expect anything. I love them so much my heart wants to burst..but I know I can't 'keep' them..they are their own free lil spirits..I think they have the courage and strength my Cheryl had..I just hope and pray they don't end up like her..Well..cheers..I hope you all have a wonderful week to end this year..and a wonderful weekend to start the new year off..

God bless you and yours..

kisses..Berri

My oldest daughter..(she was raised with my Cheryl like they were sisters)..I haven't heard from her in two months..except for two or three quick calls from payphones where I couldn't tell where she was..Her b/f abuses her..and when she found out me and her Dad wouldn't put up with it..he moved her out of town..so I have been fretting over her also..but she called this morning crying so hard I could barely understand her..but she did get out where she was..and she wanted her Mom and Daddy..(30 yrs old and can't escape that huh? lol)..but we went straight to her..two hours away and brought her home to me..to her Daddy..to her baby sister (23)..and my Mom..her Nanny..and omg..it was a wonderful day after all...

David..thanx so much for that sweet uplifting message..I am so wrapped up in my grief..I did forget about the other 'good' things..and I was so worried about my daughter..he has abused her for some time now..police involved etc..another soap opera..won't go into details..but what troubles me is that she wasn't raised that way..so we don't understand where her reasoning is to live in that kinda situation..but she is home and relatively calmed..she was hysterical by the time we got there..and he, of course, was threatening..but by the time Jack got finished with the piece of shit..she was out the door and in my arms..thank you, God..and thanx for the positive thinking..

MERRY CHRISTMAS...AND HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE..

kisses..Berri

Thanx, ya'll..I really appreciate the comments..and ya'll have been such sweet friends..I do love ya'll..but right now..I hate Christmas..I do however appreciate the fact that it is Jesus' bday..I do pray to him still..I just don't like the 'holiday' this year..I hope this doesn't repeat next year..I always loved the holidays starting with Halloween..thru New years..Valentines day..we are planning a Sweethearts Dance this year..and Easter..I love decorating and celebrating everything .usually..but not now..I just can't knowing what I know of what that beautiful creature went thru to live..and he didn't let her..I did forget to mention one thing..her long lasting love..the one she lived with for so many years? He died about six weeks after she did..I truly believe from a broken heart..but the coroner say pancreatic cancer..poor fella..and he was alone..god I do hate this...sorry it's so pathetically sad..and depressing..but thats how I feel..

Berri

Well..it's almost over..I pray the NY brings better luck..hope..just overall good things..I am still so down about my niece..and what better way to talk about it than here..Peach knows..but no one else realllly knows how awful it was..Her name is (was) Cheryl..she was 37..and her b/f beat her regularly for six months..she had been living with a wonderful guy for seven years..and why she left him we will never know..she lived with me and mom and dad for her first seven years..and then my bitch sister came and took her home to ohio with her..why we will never know that either..she was sooooo smart..she graduated from high school just before she turned 16 and went on to college..was a paramedic and talked about becoming a pharmacist..but she couldn't live with her mom anymore..so at 16 she came back here..and since there is really no future for kids to start out here..she just worked and had a few b/fs..but when she met J the one she lived with so long..we thought surely they would marry..but they never did..he said she didn't wanna end up like her mom..divorced six times..and richer each time..what a shame..but her other b/f's were abusive (I am sure from her mom's treatment)..and every time she was 'in trouble' with them..she called my sweet hubby who always went to fix the problem..this time she didn't call us..and again..we will never know why..this time the piece of shit (pos) threw her off their porch and she hit her head on the root of an old oak tree..and it knocked her out for a few min..of course he wouldn't take her to the ER..sooo she complained of a headache for a month..she never did tell us why she had a headache..me and mom tried to get her to go to the dr..she wouldn't let us pay..well she had a seizure on april 9th this year..and went into a coma..we were there with her for three days constantly and when my hubby would talk to her or my mom would..she responded..she moved..smacked her lips like she wanted to speak..raised her hand towards us, her b/p went up a lil..but when my bitch sister finally showed up..after three days..she went downhill..and my bitch sister was sooo overwhelmed with jealousy when she saw she responded to us..she refused to allow us in anymore..my bitch sister has not spoken to us since the day she came..has never tried to contact us..except to call mom and tell her the day she pulled the plug.."its over..she is gone"..my children that were raised as Cheryl's sisters..weren't allowed in there..Cheryl considered me and hubby more her mom and dad than her own..and so we sat on the floor in the hall for two more weeks..waiting to see if she would soften..but she didn't..my mom is 83 yrs old..and she refused her also...you can't imagine how awful it was..I worked in the ER in this hospital for 12 years..and the dr I knew so well from contact in the ER for 12 years..wouldn't give me the time of day..and I do understand the law...but dammmmmmn..how can you do that to family..my Cheryl had a living will..my oldest daughter signed it as a witness a year earlier..but do you think my bitch sister produced it? so they had my bitch sister down as her next of kin..and she pulled the plug on my sweet Cheryl..without us by her side..without us being there like we had been allll her life..just without us..omg..and the worst is yet to be told..she had her body removed to another state and we have yet to find out what happened to her..we also were not mentioned in the obituary..not even my mom..her nanny..I am still so devastated..I wanna kill her for doing this to me and mom..and my sweet hubby..he loved her the most..she was our 'first' child..I don't understand any one doing that to their own child..just unplugging them after two weeks..and I dream of her as a baby..as a toddler..as a teenbopper..babysit my youngest..omg..it hurts sooo much..and I really don't know what to do..God knows I have tried forgiveness..but I can't..it just isn't in me..yet..so I pray my bitch sister will not come back to our homes and try to make things right..the time for that past on easter sunday when she pulled the plug..and let her slip away without letting us say goodbye..the tears will never stop..and heartache..I hope I am not upsetting you on this beautiful holiday..I am truly praying I wake up Christmas morning and feel a lil lighter in my heart for having known my Cheryl at all...I am grateful for that..God forgive her..because I can't..May God bless you all on this beautiful season..and may your heart be filled with the love of God and his son..and may your new year be the best ever....

I also wanna thank God for the wonderful friends me & Jack have made in this wonderful 'swing' L/S..they are truly the light of our lives..they have proved to be the best kind of friends (more like family) than anyone could ask for..we love ya'll..never forget..

Love and Kisses..Berri