Bigg!'s blog post

This was emailed to me by a friend, and it mage me smile, hope it does the same for you
Dear All

My thanks to all those who have sent me cautionary e-mails this past year.


I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about the rat shit in the glue on envelopes.

I am now sure to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now scrub the top of every tin I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the £150,000 that Bill Gates, Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.



Thanks also to the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split £78 million with him for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St.Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it is radioactive.

I no longer buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car, so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone is sure to drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's bathroom but mine because a big African spider is lurking under the seat to cause instant death when it bites my arse.

And thanks to your great advice, I won't pick up the £50 I found in the car park, because it probably was placed there by a molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I don't go to the movies anymore because of the hypodermic needles in the seats placed there by random strangers wanting to drug me.

I am going to court next week because I was charged with failing to stop then resisting arrest when a policeman pulled me over because I was certain he was a impersonating a cop.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back. This will cause you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur, because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

By the way, a South American scientist, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with low IQ and who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

.....don't bother taking it off now, it's too late!