My sluggy lurgy has departed - hurrah!!

Thankfully, as I had my appointment for the 2nd biopsy and treatment today which, though unpleasant, was not as painful as my last visit to the doc. They did more invasive stuff today but they gave me a local anaesthetic this time which helped a lot. Thanks to all the nice people here who wished me well. I get my results back in a couple of weeks so keep all your bits crossed for me.

As a result of the treatment, my month long sex ban starts today lol so am sure there will be lots of cold showers in the McBoob household before the time has passed....!

Actually I think only intercourse is banned as part of my recovery so am sure we can more than make up for it by fiddling with each others bits over the next few weeks (if I ever feel like being fiddled with again that is....!)

I am a bit lurgy infested today so am only online sporadically when I can bear to get out of my quilt and prop myself up on my chair! I am enjoying watching the last series of the Gilmore Girls and having lots of sleep though, even if I am now turnng into some sort of a human slug (nice image huh).

Catch you when I am less sluggy!!

Oh god 80% of people I work with are bastards and only 20% are normal. It's taken me all this time to realise.

Don't you just hate it when people are horrid to other people - and you know you are powerless to do anything about it. My work life is ok but I worry about how others are treated.

It is soooo frustrating

I have been working flat out on my coursework and still have a little way to go over the next week. There is just so much thinking involved lol. I am way over word count at the moment too so need to be brutal but careful to only cut out my irreverent ramblings.

I had a nice glass of wine last night which helped immensely and I was cheered by the comments here. Thanks to you all.

A slight dampener on my concentration yesterday followed a receipt of a letter from the hospital saying that I have to go in for treatment on 3 March. The treatment isn't pleasant but I hope that's as far as I have to go with it. Depending on what is going on, there may be even more invasive things to have done in the future. I can't worry about it at the moment - what is the point until I know what is going on.

I must admit though that I bawled for about 10 minutes. I felt really helpless - I like to be in control of my choices but at the moment know I am at the mercy of my body. Mr McB cuddled me, then went out and bought me nice foody treats and my wine.

I am always amazed at how embarrassed I get when I cry, even in front of my own loved ones. You can tell me til I am blue in the face that it's natural and therapeutic, but to me it's just embarrassing lol. I always repress my tears and I am not quite sure why I have such a problem with not being able to control my emotions.

Anyway the coping strategy for this week is to concentrate on my coursework and complete to deadline. I also have a busy week in work so I am hoping that all of this helps to keep me from dwelling on what Monday brings.

I will drop on here and perv from time to time too of course. After my treatment I may need to take a break as I can't have sex for a month! I'll need to keep my legs crossed and have plenty of cold showers

It's D-day for my dissertation to be sent in on 1 March so am working like Hell to get it all done. That is it then - I just have to wait patiently to find out whether I have passed or not! EEEK!

I will be reading your blogs when I have a mo - they are so bloody addictive! Wish you weren't all so interesting!

These days I am just not sure what is happening to my sexuality. All my life I have seen myself very clearly as bi-sexual. I've had pretty balanced sexual experiences with males and females but my main, longer term relationships have always tended to be with men.

I am lucky that Mr McB is an open minded perv (self confessed) who has no problem with my sexuality and loves to hear about or see (if he is lucky) my sexual lady fun! Some male partners have been less understanding in the past.

I don't know why, but these days I am having no urge to be with a woman sexually. Though I still worship the female body as a beautiful, erotic and generally sexually inspiring thing, my practical needs of being with a woman just aren't there.

To me that was always the difference between being "bi-curious" and actually being "bi-sexual". I have had some lovely offers from some really nice and really sexy females but I just don't want to... I can't believe I am 38 and questioning my sexuality!

Anyway off to do some work now!

No, unfortunately I am not talking about the explosion MrMcB may have had earlier when I gave him head (though the earth did shudder!).

My brain really hurts! I've been working on the final assignment for my course and it has been both pleasurable and painful at the same time (I must be a masochist!). It must have been enjoyable as I lost about 5 hours of my life today in a blink, with about 5,000 words to show for it!

I have explored so many theories on human behaviour that my head may explode due to behavioural overlode. I can assure you that I have never used Google so much - apart from looking for porn of course! It is so great to have all this information at the touch of a button - it's the relating it to what I do that takes a bit more thinking out!

I need to do some more work over the next 2 weeks and I can then submit it and hopefully forget about it for a while. I just hope to God I pass!!! I can't face doing it again....

Perhaps perving will help to release my angst.....

I am always in two minds about St Valentine's Day. I have been single a number of times and suffered the smugness of those pesky couples in love who need to ram their happiness down your lonely thoat every 14 February

Actually every day should be a day you express love to the person you care for ... and not have to buy each other cheap Valentine's tat lol!

In Wales we also have St Dwynwen's Day on 25 January - we are all about the love here!!! I forgot about it this year however...
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Dwynwen%27s_Day[/url]

Anyway tonight, we are having a sofa snuggle, watching a DVD and partaking of some nice food and wine. Later we will snuggle in bed - and probably get to sleep eventually!

To all of those who have significant others, enjoy your day with them.

To all of you singletons, keep your pecker up, get out there and have some meaningless sex without ties - it always worked for me

We are planning our next jaunt on a plane (my carbon footprint must be so scary - sorry Mr Gore!).

We are off to Italy for a week in April and I cannot wait to get away! I have wanted to visit Italy for so long!

I love the food (mmmmmm), the men (mmmmmm), the women (mmmmmm) and the wine (mmmmmm). The countryside looks pretty bloody spectacular too!

As MrMcB is an American we do, of course, have to have a schedule and see as much as possible during our time there (before my US friends say I am stereotyping American tourists, Mr McB said it, not me!).

We start in Milan, drive down to Rome, up to Florence, off to Venice and then back to Milan. Thankfully Mr McB doesn't mind driving and knows the roads pretty well. If it was left to me (I can't drive) we'd be on a go-cart!

If anyone has any recommendations of things to see/do in those places a pm would be most appreciated I have started researching but you can't beat personal recommendations!

We've even been organised and produced an itinerary!! God I must be getting all mature (at last)!

Nahhhh... ;P

I feel like crap this morning. I only had a couple (and I mean a couple) of drinks last night and feel crap. I have a meeting at an ungodly hour so had to drag myself out of bed. Why do people organise early morning meetings? (for answer see ego rant below I suppose)

Anyway I had a good time last night. We went on a candlelit ghost tour in a local castle. You walk around in the dark and they stop in each haunted room and tell you stories about what people have supposedly seen and heard etc. Also some of the history about the place.

We went with some mates so had good fun! We didn't see anything at all but there were a few bumps and creaks (to be expected in such an old building). It was like "Most Haunted" but honest and with less screaming and night vision

Still begs a question for me .... do I believe in all the supernatural stuff? I must admit I have always been fascinated by the idea of it all but sceptical. I am very much a person who has to experience something before she believes it could be true.

I am also fascinated by the gadgets and gizmos people use to try and evidence paranormal activities. For this reason a small group of us have also decided to sign up to a ghost watch at the same venue with a bunch of people from the local paranormal society. We get to play with gadgets and it should, if nothing else, be a bit if fun!