I am world weary today. Like a what the fuck does life matter for sort of day. Pathetic you could say with some justification. What is the point of being like that. Pull yourself together. Pull your fucking socks up. But then I am not content. Cows are content and who wants to be a cow? I want to move on. It is the gypsy in me. You got that kinda mood now and again or are you anchored to a spot building your own little cell of goodliving? Lucky you then. I have been like that and I may be again. Dominion over your own little patch is a precious thing but I do not have it currently and I want to be elsewhere. And is that the cause of my world weariness? Not exactly and yet the lack of dominion over my own life is an element in it. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely said Lord Acton, but powerlessness is a deeper corruption and more dangerous. Powerlessness corrodes the soul. Is that then at root my problem? And is that in part the essence of why I particularly enjoy the absolute dominion involved in BDSM or DDLG relationships? Perhaps. And is that why I am world weary this day? Yes / no / maybe in part but not really. Have I lost trust in authority? Is that it? We are going to have fucking Euro elections here in Britain. Our politicians are pointless wankers who couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery. A bunch of primary school children could do better. And before you get prideful - America is no fucking better. What - are you going to go to war with Iran now? Over what? have we not learnt from Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya, from Vietnam, Korea and the rest of the pointless futile wars? We needed retribution for 9/11? Of course we did. The little shits that were responsible needed punishing but that is no excuse for ripping the world apart. Had I a woman to fuck hell out of and then rest and then fuck hell out of again would that cure me of my world weariness? probably. but I haven't at present and though a woman could cure it, the lack of a woman is not at root the cause. That much I know. There are other cures. getting drunk with my buddy. Going on an adventure like one of the hobbits. But for reasons too convoluted to go into those too are denied me at present. Perhaps all of the above is my problem and I am just pissed with the world. Sometimes talking about it helps. Which is what I am doing now am I fucking not? Should feel better then, shouldn't I? Perhaps I do. |