So I finally got on msn last night after...well...WEEKS of not being on. In fact, I haven't really done anything with msn since Jes and mine's fight, which was June 10th based on my newbienudes records. It's not that I'm mad at the chick anymore, it's just, I've had literally no desire to be online. We don't talk and our role plays bore me to tears. No reason anymore, so I stopped, and I've enjoyed it. I have more time for other things, writing, movies (Predator wooooh!) and just being around the rents or drawing or whatever. I just have more time to relax and do my own thing.
Well I finally got online last night and she messages me and asks if I'm mad at her. I say that no, I'm not really mad, though our last fight did throw me majorly off balance. I explain that recently I've just had desire or drive to get online. She then says that it's okay, if I get on she'll be there, if nor then she understands. And besides, "there'll be more time for online when summer's over =D" and that she's going to be early, goodnight.
I don't think this broad gets it. I don't know if I want to continue what friendship we really had going. To be totally honest, I don't want to have things go back to the way they were at college, because they'll get too good and comfy again, only to have her go back to this when college is over. Not my cup of tea, not wroth my time.
Then I wonder if maybe I'm being too hard. Jes once said she put up with all of Ariel's shit for so long because she was being a good Christian, so shouldn't I as a good person try again? Then I wonder if maybe I brought this all on myself. Maybe deep down I really started all of this with just my natural and annoying tendencies.
I don't think I'm a bad person because I don't want to be her "best friend" anymore, but I dunno *sighs* I've found I'm a lot happier when I don't really deal with her. |