So heres the thing and maybe its a stupid thing but this is whats going through my mind so may as well share

It can be hard to be honest with someone, it can make you feel uncomfortable, it can lead you into conversations you really dont want to have but guess what its better than not being honest.

And thats me im honest i dont lie, i always try and be the best kind of person i can be but i have regretted a few things in my time.

1. Walking out on someone who liked me because i didnt like him and leaving him to find me gone when he came back from the bathroom

2. Ending up in bed with the wrong person because the right person hurt me and hating myself for it after

I must point out these arent the only things in my life i regret but im not mad enough to list all the times i have cocked up in one go!!

But in both those situations i took a deep breath i had the hard conversation, i owned up and i accepted the outcomes.

So i dont avoid people, i dont not respond and i dont hurt people... and that means i get let down when others do it to me because i could never do it to them even if i had to look someone in the eye and say....im sorry...im done...i dont want you....it was fun but a one off....or i treated you badly

So next time you dont want to be honest think about how the person your not being honest with might feel and then turn the tables...if it was you would you want to be treated that way?

So i logged on tonight and someone had bought me a years premuim membership

So THANK YOU whoever you are, NN wont spill the beans and noone is forthcoming but i am so grateful

For those of you that really know me you know that i have been down since my master disappeared and this has just made me feel sooo much better.

So thank you again and please pm me let me know who you are so i can say a big thank you and will throw in a picture of your choice within reason

oh and will confirm with NN so nice try boys but this is for my real admirer

Thank you for making me feel special again xx

Who i am to be emotional
Who were you to play with hearts then throw away it all
Who were we to turn each others heads
Who were we to find ourselves in other peoples bed

Oh i dont like the way i never listen to myself
I feel like im on fire but to shocked to cry for help
Oh i dont think you wanted me at all

This Lust was be and end all
This Lust has been my downfall
This Lust was be and end all
This Lust could have been your downfall

Who were you to make me feel so good
and who were we to tell ourselves that we're misunderstood
oh who am i to say im always yours
and who was i to chase the boy that she adores

Now i dont see the reason why we have to be apart
why were not falling on each other like were always in the dark
but i dont think you wanted me much at all

This lust was be and end all
but this lust has been my downfall
this lust was be and end all
now this lust is my downfall

im feeling down about myself

But is this lust what you want
and this heart may never be yours
This lust was be and end all
this lust has been my downfall

im feeling down about myself

I text you as your on way home telling you i will be in the bath and to come bring me a glass of wine

You arrive and there i am all covered in bubbles. You hand me a glass and then bend to kiss me. Your hand goes under the water and i know you are checking...yes master i am all freshly shaved.

You look at me and slowly and teasingly start wiping the bubbles off my body to expose my full wet breasts, then my tummy, my freshly shaved pussy and then my legs,

Your hand plunges in and starts to play with my pussy, you bend and whisper bath times nearly over but i tell you im clean but your still a dirty boy.

You unzip and i reach for your cock and balls slowly and teasingly licking every inch, there you are clean now i say getting out of the bath and heading for the bedroom

I think its the way youve become more than my master, your my master, my shrek and my friend

When my day has been hard you listen, when im down you make me smile

and when im horny you make me cum either online or in person, i know we cant always be together and that is hard for us both but always know i am thinking of you.

I love that when im naughty you punish me and when im good you reward me.

And i love that you get jealous and that you know how easy it is to make me jealous at the thought of sharing you

But most of all i love that you challenge me, i never get away with being mumpy and even my best pouting and stamping off feet wont always get me my own way

I lust you xxx

So he came home and told me he had a present for me but wouldnt give it to me till i had proved i was a good girl.

I went to the bedroom and put on a tight red corset, red panties and stockings and suspenders. I went back to where he was watching tv carrying a pillow. Knelt down between his legs lent back and starting creaming my feet.

I could see him getting hard so i stood up and asked him to get out of his jeans, freeing his now semi hard cock. I slowly teased him hard with my mouth, licking his shaft up and down before working his balls in my mouth.

Once he was hard i lent back, and moved my feet around his cock, leaning up to suck him and lick him as my feet wanked him off.

He came over my feet and i fed him my toes.

He told me i was a very good girl and gave me my gift a new set of bed ties so i wondered happily into the bedroom to try them out

is it wrong to miss being the centre of someones world. I miss curling up on the sofa after a long week at work with a couple of beers and take out.

i miss waking up in the middle of the night after a bad dream and someone is there

I miss being made to feel special

I miss some things ive never had, like the fact ive never in my life been sent flowers

I miss being in the shower or bath washing my hair and having someone come in and take over

I miss having someone to tell everything too, like the fact that my assistant resigned yesterday and im really worried about being left to do all the work alone

And that im scared that im going to end up alone, no partner, no kids just me and that scares me most of all