a long weekend...
it wasn't as bad as I'd feared... but I'm not sure how productive it was. Shaking head... blue skies, hot days and nights...
The fourth was a stress filled and rending day for all three of us... Lanky my daughter and me. We spent a little time together, then my girl and I headed out to Tooele to pick up a breeding pair of Budgie parakeets from one of her best friends from Jr high forward... the girls picked up from the last time they'd seen one another, and we took the birds an hour later, out to the sweltering heat of the car. With AC on we drove around the little city in the high desert, to see our old home. God, how we miss it.. then again, still can't stand it. Stopped here, and there at the homes of friends from church and school, only to find a handful at home. It was so worth the long drive. We brought the little chortling treasures home to set them up in my daughter's room. It's perfect for them. Sweet twittering wee mites of feathers and bitty beaks, now added a fourth egg since they nestled into their new place of residence. Later we headed out to my baby sister's house. Plans for her wedding were discussed, offers of assistance poured from me happily until a sister in law to be started taking over the planning.. as if it... were HER wedding. I don't want this, I have to have that... Oy vay.
Still the Celtic part of me is filled to brimming with glee at being able to unleash delights and gifts of knot and linens. Irish blood boils richly, hotly in the veins of her husband to be, and in my own veins, was softened by my English gran's influence. I love the photo of my Gran and Gramps forever imprinted on my mind. He a swarthy "Black Irish" and she, and gentle yet determined 100% English WOMAN. Proud of working hard, and of reaching her dreams. Back to the weekend...
I'm eager to show an Irish woven wall hanging I've got folded carefully and stored away with my treasures... Celtic knots, birds and horses spun into a pewter and black work of art. My sister's colors are black, pewter, white and eggplant purple. Perfection on her petite, fair-skinned, dark-haired self.
We stayed to see their fireworks, that's when I'd tried the Irish ale(beer) ugghhh.
Lanky was out wasting gas, driving mournfully alone up and down the Salt Lake Valley for hours, just to avoid being alone at home. The fireworks were glorious. The night, sad when ended. But, it was much needed time spent well with my daughter, sister and her dear family.
Saturday brought anxiousness, and a whirl-winded pick up of things left by Lanky in the living room. Now, moved into the bedroom. We'll need to organize and find place for it.
Oh, did I tell you??? He fixed my washing machine!!! Wheeeeeee!!!!
I got to WASH clothes in my apartment. Oh, the joy of being ab;e to clean them right here... at home again! Lanky smiled at my kidlet announcing his suggestion that we use the jar of quarters for icecream or milkshakes, from now on.
Wise man.
Saturday afternoon brought Lanky's choice to leave for alone time. And now, my daughter is at my ex's place... pet sitting. A mean big ol' Amazon parrot and a temperamental cat. Go figure... The parrot... I suspect she'd seen too much anger and abuse in her first home. My ex's wife had an abusive alcoholic first husband. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Then again, if my ex were as deplorable as he used to be... I'd have done everything to advise the woman on how to avoid abuse. Nods, I just hope he realizes the damage he's done to his daughter. Who the fuck cares how he treated the ex wife, eh?
Lanky and I needed time to relax. I'd told him, before he'd left... "we need to talk, honey."
Sigh wrong thing to say to probably ANY man, eh???
Poor soul... that kind of statement makes the man's eyes dilate in a traumatic way.
I called him later, leaving a message, promising it wasn't the kind of talk he's used to. "This is ME, love... not someone who want to hurt you or make you leave. You're one of the best friends I ever had." I meant it. Though I NEED him to at least stay at his official place of residence once or twice a week at least... I want him. And, we've got a very unique friendship.
We spent our nights making love or fucking like lusty beasts, and mornings using his wood. Or resting up from emotionally fraying moments. It was good to be able to trust one another's arms to pull the other close, to massage stress out of back and neck, hands and legs, and other places... Legs entwined and feet caressing over the other from time to time... affection dared to be shown, and sweetness shared.
I was able to reach my Lanky after several attempts... He informed me he'd "gone to church"... when he says that I know what he means... he's been in his own sort of peaceful retreat or cathedral. Nature. Up in the canyons, reaching out to God and the earth. He asked if I'd like to go later. I responded quickly, Yes... I'd love to. We had home made burgers and headed out once we'd spent time relaxed together. We had our talk... and I doubt he realized that it was THE talk I'd needed to have with him. I'd needed to know WHY he's here with me... and... I told him why I am not severing our relationship and reminded him of my elected choice 1 1/2 years ago to not scream and accuse, but to calmly describe the unacceptable behaviour and lack of respect, the abuse of my friendship and myself as a WOMAN, the humiliation and.. the experience of having no control as a big drunkard ground against me, while pinned to a column.. reminding me of my .. only THIS... was in front of over a hundred onlookers. And... I reminded him of our choice after that fucked up night, to remain friends. And again, of the blessed answer to a prayer begged of God, to help me choose between my local player and my perfect gentleman in the suburbs of Chicago. I don't rue the night one bit... it gave me my sweet Alex and the joy we had together... I have learned Soooo very much about forgiveness, and tolerance, acceptance and love all because a prayer was answered and I got to experience true and abiding.. eternal love.
Anyway, back to my weekend... we went up the canyon, together.. splashed in the freezing waters.. chased sunlight covered ripples and foaming bubbles int he waterfalls... I dove into the waters.. hands clasped around the cameras we'd brought.. and treasures were collected forever in digital form. God, I love the water.. the scent, feel sound.. and the splendid life within it!!! The joy and colors the patterns and energy... the sight of it!
We each took our treasures frozen in time, home. shared in the car for a moment... but first, we followed the road where it took us... a back way to Park City. walking together on the sidewalks, crossing roads, peering through windows and commenting on the displays. We shared a coffee and chocolate waffle cone. Licking it to bits together like kids. My towering string bean and me.. a short curvy thing, side by side...
When we got home we had to check with one of the bar tenders at The Royal, about the tiny bear can shaped fridge he'd bought from Lanky for his man cave. No news, except that he still had to clean it out. We watched the reshown Tour De France on their TV then went home.
we made love together to finalize the night. We had... a truly perfect Saturday together.
Sunday was lazy, more sex in the morning and rest.. lots of rest. Mostly rest, in fact. A good day, I think. We wandered back down to The Royal eventually, to watch the Tour again, and ate a mountain of their amazing nachos. Nummmm
a decent weekend, I'm thinking.
