Last night.. well, I was up 'til after 1am, then.... "this morning" I was awakened by my sweetheart, who saw a sale at Walgreen's for a medication I use for my acid reflux(lansoprazole), which works far better then the one that we'd both been prescribed (omeprazole). His acid is far more severe an issue than mine was and the gastro and ENT's that saw me had all thought one omeprazole once, then twice a day would heal my poor raw inflamed and destroyed throat, belly and larynx. It wasn't until I'd tried the Lansoprazole that I'd felt like I could eat like a human being again. I still have got to get myself back into taking it daily, though, for if I do, I'll let my larynx heal... and I might be able to perform again... singing. I've lost out on that because of the severity of my damage. Smiles.. long story short, their "Sale price" is almost as good as WalMart's every day price. So he let go of the bottles and informed me of all the things he was buying in order to reduce both the terrifically distressing gas and acid refulx. To be honest, a lot of antibiotics and NSAID's cause gas, bloating constipation and acid reflux. This is a man who'd NEVER been on any of these... umm, yes... REALLY. Imagine extremely efficient immune system and digestive tract... a perfect body. An athlete with an IT geek's brain to boot and THAT's what and who my man WAS. He's still a self made and educated man who impresses me. But the perfection of his body was taken over and manipulated into being the slave to his cancer... Seeing as cancer travels via white blood cells.... the warriors of the immune system. *sigh* They harness, tame, mimic and take over where there's been trauma, injury or illness in the body. I find cancer fascinating already. It's the brilliant, cold and cruel twisted minded nemesis of the DNA world. That Antagonist of the comic book world... I am in awe of it and loathe it. Can you tell?
Anyway, I was awakened by the scratchy out of breath version of the voice that I love to hear over the phone, more than any other voice, since my mother passed away... of cancer. I don't know why this man was capable of taking over such a huge part of my heart... I don't know when it'd happened, but I know that when I'd dreamed of our voices being an old loving couple teasing and loving one another i the dark.. and that voice chuckled and called my nickname out... I was already in love with that voice because of how that dear man treated the woman that he loved, in my dream. But when that voice slipped like silk, across my mind as he spoke to me the first time... My heart leaped to my throat.. and the damn sexy chuckle just did me in. So, I guess, as with him... something caught each one of us, to hold our attention... Me, his voice and chuckle like the finest chocolate melting me with it's sexy smooth texture... and, *smirks* my visual imagery assaulting his mind with the image of my pale white ass, mooning him and spreading my ass cheeks wide to reveal... my tonsils he could see so far up inside of me, LOL. Yes, really... he was obsessed with that vision for two weeks and struggled over that and the strange desire to defile his tongue with that part of me. Smiles, let's just say it's not a bad thing to want, and leave it at that.
So, the friendship was apparently tainted from that time forward. His side with a peculiar version of carnal desire... Mine with a reverenced awe at having gotten to know that voice so well, prior to hearing it from the man I now hope and pray will heal, so we can proceed down that path we've blazed in the pure light of friendship, respect and curiosity.. with strong pulls by lust, passion, attraction to mind and body... and even more wonderfully to one another's soul.. personality, and both weaknesses/faults and strengths/talents/perfections.
long ago, while married I'd already learned the importance of loving someone's faults weaknesses, etc as greatly as their gloriously wonderful side. Embracing thier whole self, is tuly the ONLY way a couple can fluidly work in tandem. Unfortunately my spouse at that time was unable to and flat out proudly refused to accept my weaker side... Oddly some of my greatest strengths were what he saw as weakness... Being loving, patient giving and respectful were things he mocked in others. Something he sees as weakness, and wrong. Anyway, once I accepted that his point of view was clearly skewed and twisted it was far easier to move forward towards self-acceptance. Back to how things are NOW. I feel blessed. During our conversation he'd teasingly called his Mom his posse and then called her Slow Poke.. it got me thinking since afterwards he added who am I to call her that.. she should be calling ME the Slowpoke. So, lol... whether Slo Mo and his posse the Slo Poke(his adorable mom) get to be embraced as my family I still don't know. That depends on so many things right now.
But I'm proud to say that two imperfect people find one another perfect in their imperfections... and, even because of them. Odd? Smiles... I don't think so either.
Love is what fills, in those chinks and ruts, where imperfections might flaw you. By adding the love others show you.. and the love you discover within yourself... of and for your own self... you ARE absolutely PERFECT. Perfected, by love.
