Her hot spots

Make her feel like a goddess by touching every part of her

Around her face

Massage her temples and forehead after a hard day and you’ll relax her—and she’ll only become aroused once she’s relaxed, so this is a good move to try on any day of the week. And look for her mouth to open. If she’s uptight or tense her lips will stay shut; when she’s feeling more relaxed, they’ll move slightly apart.

On her lips
You’ll often touch them with yours but don’t forget to use your fingers, too. Try touching her lips lightly with your thumb, looking directly at her mouth as you do so, then giving her a long kiss. It’s an extremely sexy move.

On her breasts
Of course, this is a fantastic place to touch her if you want to pleasure her. Packed with nerve endings, you don’t need to be rough or go straight for the nipples: feather-light touching will arouse more nerves to begin with.

On the back of her neck
Moving her hair gently away from her neck to kiss it or moving your fingers over her neck makes her feel exposed, in a good way.

On the small of her back
One strategically placed hand here to pull her in towards you during a kiss is fantastically romantic and passionate. Like the bum move, it also pulls her pelvis to yours and puts you in control, but this is a little more gentlemanly and the sexier for it. It also happens to be where most of the nerve endings on her back are.

On her behind
Putting your hands here during a kiss makes your intentions clear—if you pull her body in towards yours, pressing her pelvis into hers, it can be an enormous turn-on.

On her hips
Placing your hands here during a kiss or sex makes her feel feminine and sexy. When you’re facing her, try placing your hands low on her hips but letting your thumbs move inwards closer to her pubic area. This is a highly sensitive part of her body because, like on the neck, the blood is very close to the surface.

On the sides of her body
In the direction of her breasts, below her underarms. This is a great teasing spot as you’re arousing the nerve endings in that area. Touch her just above the skin. She has very fine golden hairs that you can’t see and as your fingers move over her skin they’re stimulated, giving her a wonderful sensation. The outside of her thighs are a hot spot, too.

Slide
Try sliding your hand up and down the sides of her upper body

You’re searching but you can’t locate her clitoris.
What she’s thinking: Oh, he just had it, why has he moved off it?

They vary in visibility but locating a clitoris isn’t difficult: run your fingers from the bottom of her vaginal lips, on the inside, until you get to the top where the lips join—at the very top is where you’ll find the clitoris, a small nub of flesh that feels more solid than the surrounding skin. Some people describe it as feeling like a nose—but some women will have one that feels like a big juicy blueberry, others like a small cooked pea and others like a broad bean.

You’ve been rubbing her for ages and it doesn’t seem to be working.
What she’s thinking: It doesn’t feel good.

The clitoris is a funny thing—it’s too sensitive, but then, if you rub it too hard or for too long, it starts to lose sensation. This often happens if you start with a too-hefty touch, so always build up slowly—feather-light touching with a well-lubricated finger, tracing your fingertips gently along her vaginal lips in-between. Build up the pressure, but watch how she responds to make sure you don’t apply too much. If you’re being too tender, she’ll push against you or use her own hand over yours to show you how much pressure she needs. Err on the side of too gentle because too forceful could result in no orgasm at all. Once the clitoris is desensitised, you’ll have to move away completely, focus on something else like her breasts or kissing, and then move back to stimulating it.

She’s thrusting at you so you’re trying to match her rhythm.
What she’s thinking: Hold still, goddamit!

If you’re not sure how to bring your woman off, this is a great way to understand what kind of rhythm she likes and what pressure. Simply position your hand and fingers in such a way that your palm is touching her vaginal lips and your fingers are on her clitoris (you’ll have to be lying in between her legs or low down on one side for this). Leave your hand there, don’t move it around or push. If she really wants an orgasm, she’ll push against your hand in the way that turns her on—just make sure you keep your hand in the same position. And stay attentive. There’s no greater turn-off than a partner who appears to be mentally planning his weekend. Talk to her, tell her how amazing she looks, and she’ll be putty in your hand.

You’re happily exploring the different finger techniques.
What she’s thinking: Fill me up.

It’s all too easy to focus on the clitoris and forget to pleasure her elsewhere—single-minded male that you are. So while you’re fingering her magic button, use your other hand to stimulate her vaginal lips and her vaginal canal. (may require you sit behind her and get working from behind. also keeps your bodies close together—which never hurts during sex.) Slide your middle finger gently inside her as you use your fingers on her clitoris, or use your thumb if it’s easier. Use the same rhythm on her clitoris that you use inside her and make sure that you give her lips and outer third of her vaginal canal lots of exciting stimulation, as you should know by now these are the parts with the most nerve endings.

You’re using your fingers to bring her to orgasm but it doesn’t seem to be getting the results expected.
What she’s thinking: Use your palm along with the fingers.

If you’re lying next to her, place your entire hand over her vulva with your fingers pointing down towards her behind. Using the heel of your hand, massage her clitoris along with the surrounding sensitive skin. For some women, this is the best route to orgasm—better even than penetrative sex. you’re lying in between her legs, place your palm against her vaginal lips and massage her entire vulva with firm circular movements. When her head goes back and her back begins to arch as she thrusts towards you, you know you've got it right. But always be guided by her reactions, don’t just keep doing your own thing and forget to notice how she’s responding.

The Scenario

You’re kissing but she seems bored.
What she’s thinking: This is a bit stale, shame he can’t shake it up a little.

Where you put your hands during a kiss can make or break the experience. Sometimes it’s not your mouth or tongue that sends quivers down her spine, but the location of your hands. Try sliding them up and down her sides.

You’re feeling passionate so you grasp her backside. Hard.
What she’s thinking: I’m not dough!

How can you assess whether it’s the right time for a fast, furious approach? As you’re kissing or touching, speed it up just a little or apply a firmer touch—if she responds by pushing back at you harder, grabbing your behind just as firmly and pressing her lips hard against yours, then she’s feeling just as sexually rowdy. But if you don’t get that response, she remains soft in your arms, then she’s not ready for that level of touch yet. Take your time, keep touching her gently, maybe even pull away for a bit to tease her and get her revved up.

You’ve got your hand between her legs and now you’re not sure where to put your fingers, so you put them inside.
What she’s thinking: Play with my lips.

Her clitoris isn’t just that little nub you can see, it extends several centimetres inside her vagina—not down the vaginal canal where you put your penis but around the outer lips (labia majora) in two “arms”. Stroke her vaginal lips from the bottom to the top, using several fingers at once; use one moistened finger to trace inside the outer lips, then inside the inner lips; use the palm of your hand on the entire lip area, rubbing gently. And hold the entire vulva in your hand with your palm on her pubic bone and your fingers facing down, covering her vaginal lips. Gently massage the area as though it were a soft, overripe furry peach that you’d like to squeeze just a little juice out of.

Your fingers are inside her, so you work at it with the tips of your fingers trying to get deeper because you think she’ll like it. What she’s thinking: I can’t feel that.

Only the outer third of the vagina has many nerve endings, deeper inside there’s virtually no sensation at all, so your efforts deep down inside won’t be having all that much effect. If you are too rough, it might hurt. You can, however, try to stimulate her G-spot, a bundle of nerves about two inches up the front wall of her vagina. It doesn’t do the trick for all women, but try rubbing your finger over the area, or pressing down on it gently. And don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t have the desired effect of helping her to orgasm—instead, focus your fingers’ attention to the first inch or so of her vaginal canal where she has more sensation.

When
You’re so excited you can barely concentrate on what you’re doing.
What she’s thinking: Feel my breasts, feel my bum... feel me!

In the warm-up to penetrative sex and even the first few moments of it, you’re very hands-on, massaging breasts, squeezing her behind and so on, but as soon as you get close to climax, your hands turn to stone. The trouble is, she’s probably getting close to orgasm at this point and needs the extra stimulation of your hands on her breasts or her behind. Keep touching her body throughout sex. It lets her know you’re still finding her body a turn-on, and it will help her reach orgasm herself.

Your hands move over her body, but she keeps moving them away when you get near the top of her thighs.
What she’s thinking: Are his hands clean?

A dirty fingernail or unwashed hand can give her a bladder infection. Keep your hands and fingernails clean at all times—use a scrubbing brush to get under your fingernails, and use hot soapy water. And wash them after you pee, too. Good grooming is important for a very good reason. The way you look after your hands says a lot to her about your overall hygiene and if you want her to imagine her hands on you with a smile on her face, you better make sure you scrub up.

Love in your hands
By Nina Bhalla


Hands up if you think you’re good in bed.
Can you make a girl come without taking your trousers off while telling her how hot she is? It’s a skill that womankind will thank you for over and over again.
“Fingering” isn't the nicest word in the sex dictionary, but if you are good at it, a woman will know that you are a master of the carnal arts.
Deploy your hands across all areas of her body, and both of you will reap the rewards.

Self-Love Is A Journey


Maybe you care about what other people think about you, and maybe you don’t. Either way, I hope you care about the way you perceive yourself.