Fortyhboobs's blog post - Funny how things change

While going through old family photos for my mom’s memorial, I came across this pic of me. It was taken on a water ski camping trip, I must have been 21 or 22 at the time. (Don’t make fun of my hair, I was camping, dammit!) Looking at this photo now, I think “Wow, I had a great little body back then!” But I can remember how I felt about myself when I was that age, the kind of body image I had, and it wasn’t good. I can remember being embarrassed of my body because I thought it was so fat. A lot fatter than most of my friends, anyway, and of course fatter than any model or actress popular at the time (and they were definitely “meatier” then than they are now!). I didn’t see the beauty of my body, I couldn’t get past my Big Belly and Thunder Thighs. I didn’t appreciate that I was strong and healthy, that I had a nice round butt and nice firm DD cup tits and a very feminine nipped-in waist. No, all I saw were my imperfections – and my fat.

Funny, because I’ve gained about a hundred pounds since this photo was taken yet I feel better about myself now than I ever did then. I’ve finally come to accept and appreciate my body and even revel in my very ample curves. I feel sexier and more womanly now than ever before. Is it because of maturity or because of the affirmation I’ve received posting nude pics of myself on the net? Probably both. I’ll admit there are times I wish I could still do some of the more physical things I enjoyed doing when I was slimmer, like water skiing, but I honestly wouldn’t trade my present body or self-esteem for anything. I’m a happy and proud BBW! And if I’d had a daughter, I hope I would’ve been able to pass on those feelings of self-esteem and self-acceptance to her, regardless of her size.