JustHerMind's blog post - Time to Recover from Tax time is over.

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I got so distraught after my tax/car debacle a week ago that I was not able to blog. I'm not quite sure what I did, in fact. I'm not sure if I've been drunk, or sleeping, or simply comatose since that time. I'll write what I recall about the fool episode.

For the last 15 years, I have gotten my taxes done and sent in on the last day possible. This has not been entirely intentional- there are years I have honestly intended to get them done BEFORE Apr.15, and even some I wanted to get them done in January, but most of the time my target has been for mid-Apr. No matter what my target was, though, it seems that something has always delayed me until the last day. Now for most Americans, tax day IS Apr.15 or the following Monday. However, I'm blessed with a charge of sending my tax return to a state address which has designated 15Apr as a State Holiday! WheeE! So MY taxes have to be mailed by 16Apr or the following Monday. It is a good thing that is true, or I would have crapped out this year, and many others.

So, here I was - all proud of myself this year - got my tax return completed on the 13th! WOW! Just about a record for me! Was I happy! Pressure is off. Three days to get a copy made and put them in the mail!

The next day, I mosey out the the car, get in and turn the key. Nothing! Totally dead battery: I had left the glove compartment open and the stupid little light in there drained the battery. Look at my last blog for the rest of my rant about that situation. Today I'll only add to the part about THAT battery is that all winter, this battery had shown no signs of being close to dying: It started the car right up at -5F/-20C - but the stupid little glove box light killed it.

- - - look at my last blog for the middle part of this story if you really want to hear my rant about the light killing a car battery - - -

Here it is the 15th, Spare battery charged up: reads about 13 volts - looks good. Now I have to hook it into the car. "Spare battery" is a top terminal. Car that has the stupid "side terminals". I've never dealt with these things before; not once. Should be easy to disconnect, though, right? I have plenty of wires and things to figure out how to connect it somehow...

Not so fast, moose breath! First thing is to get the old battery out, at least out of the circuit. I had to take apart a couple items of the car in order to REACH the stupid nuts on that battery with a wrench! Amazing! Finally, I'm in, and I start to turn the nut. Try to turn it, I should say. It didn't budge. Neither would the other terminal! I had the PROPER size socket on it, and amazingly enough, I put enough force on that stupid nut that it started to strip the nut! I checked "lefty loosey righty tighty" about ten times to make sure I was turning it to loosen it Spray on penetrating oil. Time to get another drink. An hour later, they still won't turn. Now getting on in to mid-afternoon. Phone the car dealer. "Is there some kind of strange fastener on these side terminal batteries? A Dzus fastener or something? Is it oppositely threaded? Why can't I get this off?" I really don't want to CUT the wire from the battery, for cripes sakes! "Nope, sir: it is a normal nut/bolt type thread". So it is time to go balls to the wall and forget about trying to save the nut.

By that time the nuts about had it anyway. Got out the ViceGrip. After about 20 minutes of failing to grip it hard enough, I get the idea that if I grab the washers UNDER the nut, I might be able to turn them and the nut will loosen. WORKED LIKE A CHARM! In fact, what looks like washers are PART of the nut, and the ViceGrips hung on to them beautifully, and for whatever reason, I was able to turn them! Whee Haw! I'm almost there! Might get into town, have time to make a copy and get it in the mail! Not going to take the old battery completely out - there is still a problem with that, but if the car starts with the spare battery now, I'll figure something out.

But it does not start. Battery looks OK as far as voltage, but does not have enough power/ amps to turn the car over. TIME FOR A DRINK. There's always the 16th. Actually, time to get DRUNK. ?Use the lawn mower battery?

Plan R, I must have been on by this time... Post office closes by the time I've finished pulling out my hair about this, and now I'm looking at the the last day: Apr.16... as usual for me. At least I had an "Request for Extension" of the date to file handy, so I'll put that in the mailbox on the 16th if needs be.

Meanwhile, I go out to my storage rooms with my mind swimming, and hunt through my mucho big pile of computer equipment I've accumulated from here, the junk yards, the curbs and work over the years. I'm certain that SOMETIME I had in that pile at least one scanner/copier -If I get it hooked in before the mailtruck comes, I can just copy and mail from home tomorrow and figure out how to start the car later. I KNOW it is there somewhere. Maybe if I go look right now, one will fall on my head, or break my ankle as soon as I get close. On the 15th&16th, I hunted for over an hour in several snatches between trying to get drunk, and I didn't see even one. Maybe I wasn't drunk enough.

Spare battery is definitely charged up and it IS reading 13V on the 16th. I put it in the circuit of the car - but settle it down by my feet inside the car. Open the window, and run jumper cables from it to the battery wire and ground - get a good connection. I tried to start, but knew it this wouldn't start it after yesterday- had to try once anyway. Hook up up the battery charger TOO, and LO and behold, Car starts! First stop: to get a new battery, and MUST not turn off the car! (Take all the tools with me, too!)

Third place I go to, I buy a battery, never having turned off the car - letting it run in the parking lot. Go over to a garage, to drop off a tire I need repaired, and they see the jumper cables running from the hood of the car into the compartment and ask why I'm letting the car run. "gotta get to post office"... I go there next, get my copies, and mail the taxes! Yeah! Victory. Oops... I forgot that I needed to keep the car running. It won't start, of course with "Spare Battery" so now I have no choice but to hook in new battery. I can do that at home, easily, so I figure I'll just hook IT to the jumper cables.

No you won't. There is nothing to grab on to! Aaaaaagh!

Have to get the old battery out here, now. No problem? Well, not exactly of course. Finally I get ready things apart enough to lift old battery out. But there is not enough room to grab the battery underneath. No handle on it. I tried several times to grab it on the sides, but I didn't have enough finger strength to lift it. I was just about to look for some clever way to put things under it and slowly lift it out when a wonderful BIG guy came by and asked if I could use some help. He was able to lift it out just using finger strength on the sides of the battery, though it took him a couple trys. THANK YOU! Whew.

The rest was easy: put the new battery in and turn the switch. Of course...

It started! About the only thing that happened as easily as expected those days! I got home the 16th and I've been sulking since then. Or maybe I've been drunk. Or growling.

I hate Taxes!
!!!