Hopefully this will be the first among many posts on here. I have been fighting internally with my sexuality for almost 10 years now. I am bisexual. I don't think that I can be romantically involved with another man, but I really like the sex, that's for sure. Am I completely against the idea of it ever happening, no.
I am definitely attracted to women. I have been in and out of relationships. I have although, pledged my love for a girl. That girl and I now have a beautiful baby boy and we are planning to get married in October of 2008. I'm marrying her because I love her and I trust her. I trusted her when I told her that I was bisexual. She accepted that fact and our sex life took a temporary upswing as we used strap-ons and dildos, while she took a bit of a dominate role. I kinda liked it.
But after a while, my true self wanted more interaction. More contact, more experience. I asked her if she fantasized or would want to be involved, or more like the center of attention, in a MMF 3-way or MMMF 4-way. But she turned me down, in-fact she doesn't want to have sex with anyone else but me. I really wish sometimes that I could feel the same. But I don't. I feel like I need to be with 3-4 women and 2-3 guys every couple of weeks. I'm not talking about one night stands or anything like that, I'm talking more of a polyamory or polygamy relationship with people. To me, it just makes economic, emotional, physical, and social sense...maybe i'm being too altruistic?
Well, over the past year I have been trying to fight this battle between what I want deep inside and what is the right thing to do for my new family. I love my kid and I love my girl. I love being a father. I love taking care of them. But it feels like I'm trapped in a cage sometimes. Is there anyone else here that has the same issues?
I look forward to talking to more people on here. Feel free to reply or send a PM.
-Tim | 
