Ltdan's blog post - me

Wednesday, June 3, 2009, 4:17:15 PM

i have debated with myself for a little while. i have decided to lay myself out there. i am a little screwed up. some of you may be surprised, but i think i have sufficient coping skills....although sometimes they fail. i saw stuff in iraq that really messed me up mentally. our mission was primarily to take care of detainees. we have two hospitals set up to take care of all the terrorists who were trying to kill us. that being said, we also took care of coalition soldiers and civilians who were injured near us. we would often have a soldier in one trauma bed and a terrorist (detainee) in the next. if the detainee was more injured, he was treated first. very tough mission mentally. i came home and am seeking help from the va (getting meds and therapy), and yet on my claim they want me to "prove" that i have a condition caused by my deployment. do they want me to show them the pictures in me head of mangled bodies and blood everywhere? do they want me to call them when i wake up in the middle of the night sweating? i never felt that my life was in danger (stupid me as we were mortared all the time and the was rounds coming over the wall constantly), but no one should have to see what we all did. there are many of us out there and i don't think the full cost will be seen for years. my wife doesn't want to hear about my experience (i don't blame her), she just wants me "fixed".....and so do i.
so yes, i drink tooo much and sometimes i may be a little moody on here....sorry to all for that. maybe by blogging about it i may get some kind of relief...therapy as it were. for anyone who actually takes the time to read these ramblings...thank you.

Comments

Others Have Said:

likklelarry. on 3-Jun-09 16:53:02

WOW fair play to you fella....takes guts to do what u did...out there and in here. You'll be ok as long as you stick to PRVing chics but not for sex!! lol

Good luck buddy

mdguy on 3-Jun-09 16:54:05

If you came back "without a scratch", then I'd think there were something truly wrong. You can't be in that environment and not be affected by it, and for people to say so is short sighted and foolish.

But, knowing that you've changed in a way that's not great means it can be mended if not fixed. Having an outlet helps, and I'm glad you can vent a little here.

juicy on 3-Jun-09 17:06:11

Vent away Dan. It does help to put your thoughts on "paper" the benefit of doing it here is the feedback.
Words of wisdom can be found in the most unlikely places and when words aren't enough there are always tons of virtual hugs, hands to hold and shoulders to cry on.
You have discovered the real community that exists in this little corner of the internet.
Welcome.

just_looking123 on 3-Jun-09 18:23:45

I started and deleted this comment 3 times now.
I generally agree with juicy about how blogging does help to get things in order that are on your mind.

I learned to like you as the private person and how you appear on this site. I'm very sorry to hear that you are suffering from these (now well known but still so preferably ignored) symptoms/syndroms and how your government/military authorities handle this dilemma (well known as well).
This is as much as I can comment on this subject because I have a very radical, highly political opinion of what happened/still happens over there and in many other war zones on this planet.
But from the bottom of my heart I wish that you will find your way to live in peace with what you saw (of which I would never dare to say *I can imagine* - because even my worst imagination wouldn't match with what you saw).
Talking or writing about it is definitely a good start. Hugs

naughty_but_innocent on 3-Jun-09 19:40:17

Feel free to let it out, sometimes that's what we have to do to let things go. Those of us who have never been over there have no way to fully understand what happened to you or anyone else, but we are here to listen and console you when the time seems fit. Keep blogging if that makes you feel like some weight has been lifted from your shoulders, we are here and care about you. xx

duttyrockgal on 3-Jun-09 21:47:09

Dan... Dan... He's our man.. Can he do it? YESSS HEEEEEEEEE CANNNNNNNNN..

There ya go, that's mi chant for ya!

~Wenchie~ on 4-Jun-09 5:58:55

Darln, I dont know what to say, I would of been a complete basket case if I went thru half of what you have, Time it shall take my dear, time and faith in yaself, blog, or write it down, if you dont want to share it with anyone, sometimes the pure act of writing it down can help, on saying all that, my ear is always open to you, good and bad, Your a great bloke, and I think somewhere along the line, you may have forgotten that...I shall remind you everytime I see you..

**********HUGS************* Tam xxxx

pppst, check ya mail box :)

cas999 on 4-Jun-09 22:30:18

they dont put this in the small print when you sign up, they could not even try to explain it if they had even been there themselves, it truly makes my blood boil that you and many others have to 'prove' things that are so bloody obvious and could not even be invented by the most imaginative mind. I truly hope that one day the forces world wide recognise what they demand and take from 'their' people but more so I truly hope that you can find some kind of peace somewhere within to help you cope with what you have had to deal with...
look after you and yours hun xxx

Northern Star on 8-Jun-09 12:28:09

hey you :) mwahhhhhhhhh writing it down will help and as juju says..there are alot of insightful peeps around these parts :)..I got some catchin up to do :) mwahhhhhhhhh