Ltdan's blog post - Another attempt to clear the soul......

Today's chapter will be: detainees! Not prisoners of war as there is no real defined enemy as it were. But leave no doubt, we are at war. I have seen the eyes of pure evil and I have seen the eyes of scared boys who were only trying to provide for their families. Yes, the terrorist would pay people (all are poor and some are mentally ill or of diminished capacity) to plant IEDs or scout for them. They were just trying to help THEIR loved ones.
My "guilt" over the whole affair takes many faces. I feel bad because I (we) come from the land of plenty. I could not imagine facing the hardships that are faced by many. I also feel guilt because our mission was a "thankless" mission. Never in my career did I imagine that I would have to spend time away from my family, in danger, to "take care of the enemy". While not openly frowned upon by collegues, it is not a mission that anyone wants. Another facet, the one I will impress upon you all, is the fact that I was stationed at the infamous Abu Ghraib prison. You have all seen the pictures of the atrocities commited by a few bad apples. My Abu Ghraib was keeping a 20year old detainee awake and coherent long enough to say good bye to his family as he died of leukemia....we were able to by the way. Then the rush was on to get his compassionate release before he died so we could actually give his body to his family and NOT CID! We accomplished that as well. My Abu Ghraib was also one where I actually felt for the detainee who blew his right arm off as he was making a home made bomb. Yes, the look in his eyes when the interpreter told him that he no longer possessed his "clean hand" got to me. Was it supposed to?.....HELL NO, this was a man who was trying to plant a bomb........but it did. Could I tell my fellow soldiers...no. My Abu Ghraib was seeing the terrible pain and suffering that was inflicted upon man from both sides. My Abu Ghraib is having attempted (and still still fighting) to get an interpreter his visa for the US because our country turned his back on him. Mind you the interpreters who worked for us actually had bounties on their heads. Am I man enough to admit that as I write this there are tears in my eyes? I can attribute it to a long nights work, but I know the truth. Yes, I felt for those who I care for as they died EVEN THOUGH I knew in my heart they would have killed me if they could........yes, I saw pure evil and I still held its hand.........