Mad Jack's Blog - page 6

LLWA's been gone for a few days now, and every time I go to check the blogs I still look for her name on the list... this sucks...

That's how much I had to shell out for a new muffler on my car last Friday... That's how much of my paycheck I had to fork over to my old man today cuz I didn't have the cash for it last week and had to borrow it from him. I'm driving to work, and I hear the sound of metal grinding on the pavement - for half a second, I thought I blew a tire, and I was riding on the rim. Then the rattling stats, and I immediately knew it was my muffler dragging. So I pull over and look under the van... the pipe's come loose, just in front of the muffler, and it's been ground down to about a 45 degree angle... So I get a roll of lead solder out of my toolbox and wire it back up so I can at least get to work but the solder wire immediately snapped once it got warm. I pulled over to the side of the road and called work, then called my father for a ride and started walking down the road. Apparently, my old man drove past me during the minute and a half I was standing off the highway to let the cop who'd told me to get off the road get far enough away so I could get back to walking.. And so, I ended up walking six of the last six and a half miles to work. My old man picked me up just before the exit I take to get to work, and I ended up being two and a half hours late...
On the other hand, I did get the exercise of six miles....

So, I get a message today asking me, since this person noticed that I'm "already" a lifetime member, could she have my Nudles so she could get a lifetime membership? WTF? She starts off "Hi, I'm <blank>, and I'm the number 22 top Nudle earner..." And then she included the link to transfer Nudles at the bottom. Yes, folks, I've been spammed by a Nudle leech.... First, let me start off by saying that I don't have one single fucking Nudle, nor am I ever likely to have one. I bought my lifetime membership with cash - I walked into the supermarket, laid down the $150, got a money order and stuffed it into an envelope. I stood in a factory eight hours a day to earn my membership, I didn't spend four hours a day (as she says she did)sitting on my ass pasting up links all over the internet. And second, if you're the number 22 top Nudle earner, why the hell don't you just put in a few extra hours on the internet, and EARN your lifetime membership????
Third, if you're going to ask for my Nudles - me, a complete stranger - you could AT LEAST have the decency, the courtesy, and the INTELLIGENCE to write me personally and not spam me with a fucking form letter....grrrr... lol
Now, I'm sorry if anybody reading this knows this person, but I've never met her before, and here she is trolling for Nudles, coming across like a total spammer, and that doesn't exactly inspire within me any particular empathy with her cause..... I immediately decided that, even on the slim chance that this was a real person and not just an account set up to steal Nudles from generous people, I wouldn't condescend to send her a fucking letter bomb. Y'know the difference between me and Hannibal Lector? He eats rude people, but I couldn't bring myself to waste my time cooking and ingesting them, and don't consider them worthy of the privelege of being shat out my ass on their mother's front porch....

So I'm sitting in my room, just got home from work, taking my shoes off... And suddenly I hear a noise, a noise that reached down deep into the depths of my soul and slapped me upside the head screaming "Pay Attention To Me!!!!!"
And what could that possibly be, you ask?
...
The ice cream truck music.... Yes, folks, suddenly, inconceivably, there was an ice cream truck driving down the road behind my house. You couldn't have gotten a stronger reaction out of me if you'd set me down in London during World War II and blew an air raid siren. Fifteen years since I've seen one in this neighborhood, and it took exactly *fifteen seconds* for the notes of that music to filter into my brain and set off bells and fireworks. The adrenaline rushed through me like an electric shock. I vaulted off my bed, rocketed out of the house fast enough to nearly take the door off the hinges, and tore off down the street with my wallet in my hand. A 33 year old, 270 lb. man charging down the street like the mythical Juggernaut with a maniacal gleam in his eye and a dollar in his hand... For the first time in a dozen years, I tasted a Screwball (cherry ice with a gumball at the bottom). If you fed me ambrosia after a millenium of filling in for that guy in Hell who can never reach the grapes hanging from the tree, it wouldn't have tasted anywhere near as good...

So, in other words, a lifetime membership is only good for 90 years? Wtf? LOL Since I just turned 33 on Monday, I'll be 123 years old when my membership expires.... If I don't live that long, do I get a partial refund? (You can put the check in my coffin) And what if I do live that long? What if medical science let's me live to be 150 - do I have to get another membership? Y'know, NN should have answers for stuff like this in the FAQ or something...

My hands are pretty much fucked right now. I've been painting for two fucking weeks straight - I spent the first week of August (my job is shut down for two weeks every year) painting my fucking house and the shed out back, and the next week sitting at a table painting lead miniatures, eight hours a day...
I paint 25 and 28mm lead miniatures of barbarians, dragons, wizards, shit like that. I paint them with a 10/0 brush, for those that know what that means, simply because I can't find smaller ones. A simple knight in head-to-toe armor, painted entirely one color (silver for the armor), standing about one-and-a-half times as tall as a US quarter on it's edge, takes me over six hours to paint. Sometimes people pay me to paint for them, but mostly I just give them away to friends. Most of these were on commission, and for the ten figures I was paid for, I got just under two hundred dollars, which *almost* covers not getting a paycheck for the week. So now this week I'm back at work, as a packer in a plastic bottle plant, and instead of having my hands all closed up around a paint brush for 8 hours a day, I've got my hands spread out picking up bottles four at a time for eight hours... I feel like I climbed a mountain with a rock tied to my feet, just using my fingers. The arthritis in my hands ain't helping. Last night I had my hands in a bucket of hot water, and I've been doing the old stretching exercises from back in my shoplifting days, so I should be able to get back to painting again this weekend. And speaking of which, now I've got to go finish the last of the miniatures I'm getting paid for, so I can pay off my medical bills for the bronchitis I had back in July...

So I just sent myself a pm in which I insulted myself.... For some reason, I just get a kick out of standing in front of a mirror, telling myself what a pretentious, arrogant bastard I am.... What the hell's up with that???? Lol... I am sooo easily entertained....heheheheheheheehee

Having people I find intelligent and cool read my blogs and leave messages.... (Even if they are just glancing down the list of the 50 most recent updates and picking out names they recognize, lol)

Okay, call me intolerant, but I CANNOT FUCKING *STAND* people who type in that L33Tsp3aK crap. Why the fuck do you think it's cool to randomly capitolize letters in the middle of words,replace words with shit like "u r 2 hot grrl", and completely ignore punctuation??? As if being called "n00b" is any sort of insult coming from an ignorant fucktard who can't manage to write the language of the country they were born in...
Y'know, and this isn't so much a realization as simply an affirmation, "saying it out loud", so to type, but I'm pretty much intolerant of anyone incapable of putting themselves outside their own perspective and circumstances and perceiving the bigger picture. The first step toward enlightenment is to acknowledge that you are unenlightened. I lay no claim toward enlightenment, but I *can* damn sure claim to be less unenlightened than what unfortunately appears to be a rather large section of the human race... In a perfect world (and I won't even get into why there's no such thing), I'd have a job going around beating ignorant pretentious fucktards with a wooden plank.

Hello! Hello...helloooo...eloooooo...ellooooooo..oooooo...oooooo...Echo....echoooo...echoooo...ooo...ooo...ooooo......