Let's see.....I'm 48; but feel like I'm about 80 most days, and act like I'm 10. Most of my time is spent taking care of my father. I was a chef for 13+ years, and I loved it. I hope to return to it at some point, while I still can. I'm fairly laid back, though I do have my moments; and I'm always up for a good laugh, and try to make others do the same. I'm an avid Xbox Series S gamer, mostly Fallout 76, Clair Obscur, and Dragon Age Veilguard; and a full on nerd when it comes to anything Sci-fi/Fantasy/Anime related. I have a rather unhealthy obsession with Harley Quinn, as many know. I also love songwriting and playing my guitar, as well as writing poetry (you can find some in my blog). I'm very eclectic when it comes to my musical tastes, although Ren, Bad Omens, and Electric Callboy are currently my favorite artists/bands. I'm low-key obsessed with Attack on Titan, Solo Leveling, and Blue Exorcist anime/manga... If there is anything else ya wanna know feel free to PM me, or find me in status.....
- 48 years old
- Male
- 7,112 views
- Joined 10 years ago
MidnightWriter's Blog
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| Sunday, April 28, 2019, 6:41:14 PM- Love Is (Poem) | ||
Love is like a flower One can never know Just when or where It might decide to grow And the beauty it possesses Is held between the two Like the beauty that I see When I look at you..... | ||
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| Thursday, April 18, 2019, 3:56:16 PM- Chester B. explaining depression perfectly..... | ||||||
So yeah, after a status that was posted earlier this week I was doing a lot of thinking and self reflection. Depression and suicide are very serious and scary matters. A lot of people don't know how to approach the subject at times. Those of us who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts often don't want to talk about it, therefore those who don't often times can't understand what we are going through. I just happened across this vid on Youtube this morning, and felt the need to share it with y'all....... If any of you have questions, or want to know more, or even just need to talk; you can ALWAYS PM me! If you find yourself struggling with depression, remember that you are NOT alone! There are others who understand and that are there for you...... National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Website: suicidepreventionlifeline.org Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 | ||||||
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| Friday, April 5, 2019, 10:27:55 PM- BDSM test..... | ||
So yeah it had been a while, since I had taken this test before, and was interested to see if any of my interests had changed...alot of them did. So I figured I'd post the new results..... Results from 2 nights ago == Results from bdsmtest.org == 100% Switch 99% Rope bunny 99% Voyeur 98% Exhibitionist 75% Experimentalist 74% Ageplayer 73% Non-monogamist 67% Rigger 67% Daddy/Mommy 66% Masochist 65% Primal (Prey) 63% Submissive 60% Owner 56% Dominant 55% Master/Mistress 55% Sadist 54% Primal (Hunter) 44% Pet 43% Slave 38% Brat 38% Brat tamer 33% Boy/Girl 30% Degradee 23% Vanilla 4% Degrader Results from about 4 years ago == Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ == 95% Voyeur 94% Switch 91% Experimentalist 86% Rigger 85% Exhibitionist 80% Ageplayer 76% Daddy/Mommy 70% Rope Bunny 66% Dominant 65% Vanilla 63% Brat Tamer 60% Submissive 55% Non-monogamist 50% Master/Mistress 48% Primal (Hunter) 30% Girl/Boy 25% Brat 22% Owner 18% Sadist 17% Primal (Prey) 12% Masochist 10% Pet 9% Slave 2% Degrader 1% Degradee | ||
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| Tuesday, April 2, 2019, 5:19:33 AM- Senior Year Survey | ||||||
Let's talk about your SENIOR year of high school. The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be! Class of 1995 1. Did you know your current love? No 2. Make of car? 1977 Pontiac Trans Am 3. What kind of work? Detailing cars at a Ford dealership, volunteered at the College radio station on weekends 5. Were you popular? I was pretty much invisible 6. Were you in choir? Nope 7. Ever get suspended from school? Yup, once for smoking on school property, and again for trying to break up a fist fight between two of my friends 8. If you could would you go back? Hell no 9. Still talk to the person that you went to prom with? Didn't go to Prom 10. Did you skip school? Not my senior year 11. Go to all the football games? I didn't go to any of them 12. What was your favorite class? Advanced Chemistry 13. Do you still have your year books? No 14. Did you follow the career path you chose in high school? Hardly 15. Do you have a class ring? No its buried with my ex-fiancee 16. Still close with your BFF? Yes 17. Who was your favorite teacher? My Advanced Chemistry teacher 18. Did you letter for sports? Nope 19. Did you graduate with a 3.0 or higher? Sure did... 20. How old were you at graduation? 17 Copy then change answers. If you’re inclined to participate that is ?? | ||||||
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| Saturday, March 23, 2019, 6:19:53 PM- Anxiety..... | ||||||
It's like a bullet from the dark when it hits me, I never see it coming until it's too late. It starts with the racing heart and numbness in my face and hands, followed by the rapid breathing and blurred vision. I never know when or why it hits, only that I want it to stop. Minutes feel like hours, sometimes days.....It feels like I'm drowning, and I can't reach the water's surface. It clings to me, pulling me down into the depths; crushing me. My whole body hurts, and my lungs feel like they are on fire. Sometimes, I succumb to it, and eventually black out. Other times, I fight through it; and find my way to the surface. Either way, it claims a little piece of me each time it happens. It's always followed by an overwhelming exhaustion, and a lingering fear. I'm uneasy for days afterwards..... This is my life, in my words; and it's a life I hope you never have to live. But for those of you that do, my heart goes out to you. Just stay strong, and find faith in that strength that anxiety will NOT win, and that you can rise above this. It's a daily battle, but it is one that can be won..... | ||||||
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| Friday, March 15, 2019, 4:54:30 PM- Personality Test results..... | ||||||
ADVOCATE PERSONALITY (INFJ, -A/-T) The Advocate personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. As members of the Diplomat Role group, Advocates have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is that they are not idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact. Advocates tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all. Advocate personality Advocates indeed share a unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain – Advocates will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance. Egalitarianism and karma are very attractive ideas to Advocates, and they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants. Advocates find it easy to make connections with others, and have a talent for warm, sensitive language, speaking in human terms, rather than with pure logic and fact. It makes sense that their friends and colleagues will come to think of them as quiet Extraverted types, but they would all do well to remember that Advocates need time alone to decompress and recharge, and to not become too alarmed when they suddenly withdraw. Advocates take great care of other’s feelings, and they expect the favor to be returned – sometimes that means giving them the space they need for a few days. Really though, it is most important for Advocates to remember to take care of themselves. The passion of their convictions is perfectly capable of carrying them past their breaking point and if their zeal gets out of hand, they can find themselves exhausted, unhealthy and stressed. This becomes especially apparent when Advocates find themselves up against conflict and criticism – their sensitivity forces them to do everything they can to evade these seemingly personal attacks, but when the circumstances are unavoidable, they can fight back in highly irrational, unhelpful ways. To Advocates, the world is a place full of inequity – but it doesn’t have to be. No other personality type is better suited to create a movement to right a wrong, no matter how big or small. Advocates just need to remember that while they’re busy taking care of the world, they need to take care of themselves, too. Advocate strengths Creative – Combining a vivid imagination with a strong sense of compassion, Advocates use their creativity to resolve not technical challenges, but human ones. People with the Advocate personality type enjoy finding the perfect solution for someone they care about, and this strength makes them excellent counselors and advisors. Insightful – Seeing through dishonesty and disingenuous motives, Advocates step past manipulation and sales tactics and into a more honest discussion. Advocates see how people and events are connected, and are able to use that insight to get to the heart of the matter. Inspiring and Convincing – Speaking in human terms, not technical, Advocates have a fluid, inspirational writing style that appeals to the inner idealist in their audience. Advocates can even be astonishingly good orators, speaking with warmth and passion, if they are proud of what they are speaking for. Decisive – Their creativity, insight and inspiration are able to have a real impact on the world, as Advocates are able to follow through on their ideas with conviction, willpower, and the planning necessary to see complex projects through to the end. Advocates don’t just see the way things ought to be, they act on those insights. Determined and Passionate – When Advocates come to believe that something is important, they pursue that goal with a conviction and energy that can catch even their friends and loved ones off guard. Advocates will rock the boat if they have to, something not everyone likes to see, but their passion for their chosen cause is an inseparable part of their personality. Altruistic – These strengths are used for good. Advocates have strong beliefs and take the actions that they do not because they are trying to advance themselves, but because they are trying to advance an idea that they truly believe will make the world a better place. Advocate weaknesses Sensitive – When someone challenges or criticizes Advocates’ principles or values, they are likely to receive an alarmingly strong response. People with the Advocate personality type are highly vulnerable to criticism and conflict, and questioning their motives is the quickest way to their bad side. Extremely Private – Advocates tend to present themselves as the culmination of an idea. This is partly because they believe in this idea, but also because Advocates are extremely private when it comes to their personal lives, using this image to keep themselves from having to truly open up, even to close friends. Trusting a new friend can be even more challenging for Advocates. Perfectionistic – Advocates are all but defined by their pursuit of ideals. While this is a wonderful quality in many ways, an ideal situation is not always possible – in politics, in business, in romance – and Advocates too often drop or ignore healthy and productive situations and relationships, always believing there might be a better option down the road. Always Need to Have a Cause – Advocates get so caught up in the passion of their pursuits that any of the cumbersome administrative or maintenance work that comes between them and the ideal they see on the horizon is deeply unwelcome. Advocates like to know that they are taking concrete steps towards their goals, and if routine tasks feel like they are getting in the way, or worse yet, there is no goal at all, they will feel restless and disappointed. Can Burn Out Easily – Their passion, poor patience for routine maintenance, tendency to present themselves as an ideal, and extreme privacy tend to leave Advocates with few options for letting off steam. People with this personality type are likely to exhaust themselves in short order if they don’t find a way to balance their ideals with the realities of day-to-day living. Advocate Relationships When it comes to romantic relationships, Advocates take the process of finding a partner seriously. Not ones for casual encounters, people with the Advocate personality type instead look for depth and meaning in their relationships. Advocates will take the time necessary to find someone they truly connect with – once they’ve found that someone, their relationships will reach a level of depth and sincerity that most people can only dream of. Advocate romantic relationships Getting to that point can sometimes be a challenge for potential partners, especially if they are the impatient type, as Advocates are often perfectionistic and picky. People with this personality type aren’t easily talked into something they don’t want, and if someone doesn’t pick up on that, it’s a trespass that is unlikely to be forgiven, particularly in the early stages of dating. Even worse is if a suitor tries to resort to manipulation or lying, as Advocates will see right through it, and if there’s anything they have a poor tolerance for in a relationship, it is inauthenticity. One of the things Advocates find most important is establishing genuine, deep connections with the people they care about. Advocates will go out of their way to seek out people who share their desire for authenticity, and out of their way to avoid those who don’t, especially when looking for a partner. All that being said, Advocates often have the advantage of desirability – they are warm, friendly, caring and insightful, seeing past facades and the obvious to understand others’ thoughts and emotions. Advocates are enthusiastic in their relationships, and there is a sense of wisdom behind their spontaneity, allowing them to pleasantly surprise their partners again and again. Advocates aren’t afraid to show their love, and they feel it unconditionally, creating a depth to the relationship that can hardly be described in conventional terms. Relationships with Advocates are not for the uncommitted or the shallow. When it comes to intimacy, Advocates look for a connection that goes beyond the physical, embracing the emotional and even spiritual connection they have with their partner. People with the Advocate personality type are passionate partners, and see intimacy as a way to express their love and to make their partners happy. Advocates cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person, in mind, body and soul. Advocate Friendships There is a running theme with Advocates, and that is a yearning for authenticity and sincerity – in their activities, their romantic relationships, and their friendships. People with the Advocate personality type are unlikely to go for friendships of circumstance, like workplace social circles or chatting up their local baristas, where the only thing they really have in common is a day-to-day familiarity. Rather, Advocates seek out people who share their passions, interests and ideologies, people with whom they can explore philosophies and subjects that they believe are truly meaningful. Advocate friends From the start, it can be a challenge to get to know Advocates, as they are very private, even enigmatic. Advocates don’t readily share their thoughts and feelings, not unless they are comfortable, and since those thoughts and feelings are the basis for Advocate friendships, it can take time and persistence to get to know them. Meanwhile, Advocates are very insightful and have a particular knack for seeing beyond others’ facades, interpreting intent and compatibility quickly and easily, and weeding out those who don’t share the depth of their idealism. In friendship it is as though Advocates are searching for a soul mate, someone who shares every facet of their passions and imagination. Advocates are often perfectionistic, looking for ultimate compatibility, and yet also look for someone with whom they can grow and improve in tandem. Needless to say, this is a tall order, and Advocates should try to remember that they are a particularly rare personality type, and even if they find someone compatible in that sense, the odds that they will also share every interest are slim. If they don’t learn to meet others halfway and recognize that the kind of self-improvement and depth they demand is simply exhausting for many types, Advocates are likely end up abandoning healthy friendships in their infancy, in search of more perfect compatibilities. Further complicating things are Advocates’ eloquence and persuasiveness, which lead to a lot of (unwanted) attention and popularity. Their quiet, determined idealism and imaginative expression naturally draw influence, and if there’s anything Advocates avoid, it’s the accumulation of power over others – and the people who are drawn to that type of power. Advocates will find themselves more sought after than they’d ever care to be, making it even more difficult for them to find someone they truly have an affinity with. Really the only way to be counted among Advocates’ true friends is to be authentic, and to have that authenticity naturally reflect their own. Once a common thread is found though, people with the Advocate personality type make loyal and supportive companions, encouraging growth and life-enriching experiences with warmth, excitement and care. As trust grows, Advocates will share more of what lies beneath the surface, and if those ideas and motives are mutual, it’s the sort of friendship that will transcend time and distance, lasting a lifetime. Advocates don’t require a great deal of day-to-day attention – for them, quality trumps quantity every time, and over the years they will likely end up with just a few true friendships, built on a richness of mutual understanding that forges an indelible link between them. | ||||||
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| Monday, September 10, 2018, 4:08:47 PM- 40 odd things..... | ||||||
1. Do you like blue cheese? Love it! 2. Coke or Pepsi? Neither...Root Beer 3. Do you own a gun? Nope...I prefer knives 4. What flavor of Kool-aid? No thank you.... 5. Hot dogs? Ball Park Angus Hot Dogs 6. Favorite TV show? Fullmetal Alchemist 7. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes! 8. What do you drink in the morning? Coffee 9. Can you do a push-up? Yeah 10. Favorite Jewelry? Leather Bracelets 11. Favorite hobby? Gaming 12. Do you have ADD? Nope 13. Do you wear glasses? Supposed to 14.Favorite cartoon as a kid? Transformers 15. Three things you did yesterday? Cleaned house, bathed the dogs, played my guitar 16. Three drinks you drink regularly? Coffee, Root Beer, Jager 17. Current worries? Getting Mom's kidney transplant, Paying bills 18. Do you believe in magic? Of course 19. Favorite place to be? In bed 20. How did you ring in the new year? Asleep 21. Where would you like to go? Ireland 22. Name five people who will participate in this? How should I know? 23. Favorite movie? Labyrinth 24. Favorite color? Dark Purple 25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Nope 26. Can you whistle? Yes 27. Where are you now? Waiting room at Dialysis clinic 28. Where would you rather be right now? In bed 29. Favorite food? Chili Dogs 30. Thing you hate most to do? Waking up 31. Best job you can think of? Cooking in a restaurant 32. What's in your pockets? Two knives, a lighter, 48¢, house key 33. Last thing that made you laugh? An episode of Last of the Summer Wine 34. Favorite animal? Penguins 35. What's your most recent injury? Ruptured Appendix 36. How many TV’s are in your house? 4 37. Worst pain ever? Ruptured Appendix 38. Do you like to dance? Yes 39. Are your parents still alive? Yes 40. Do you enjoy camping? Every chance I get Now copy and paste and update with your answers if you’d like. ![]() | ||||||
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| Tuesday, November 10, 2015, 6:18:58 AM- Quiz results | ||||||
Well sinced DC dared, and I can't pass up on a dare...here my results to the quiz that DC posted in his blog ![]() == Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ == 95% Voyeur 94% Switch 91% Experimentalist 86% Rigger 85% Exhibitionist 80% Ageplayer 76% Daddy/Mommy 70% Rope Bunny 66% Dominant 65% Vanilla 63% Brat Tamer 60% Submissive 55% Non-monogamist 50% Master/Mistress 48% Primal (Hunter) 30% Girl/Boy 25% Brat 22% Owner 18% Sadist 17% Primal (Prey) 12% Masochist 10% Pet 9% Slave 2% Degrader 1% Degradee See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=1006397 | ||||||
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| Friday, September 4, 2015, 9:27:16 PM- A small tribute to Mrs DC... | ||||||
I just wanna start off by saying that all of you wonderful people in status never cease to impress me in your devotion and support of your friends. You guys are amazing. I never got the pleasure of meeting or talking to Mrs DC...but from the reaction in status and from reading DC's blog, I can tell she must have been an amazing lady. I only wish I had the chance to meet her. And although I didn't get to, my heart and thoughts go out to DC at this time, losing someone is never easy. I thought this song was a fitting way to say goodbye to an amazing person, and celebrate her life. | ||||||
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| Thursday, September 3, 2015, 1:31:55 AM- Big Rube - Love's Deceit | ||||||
Just finished watching the movie "ATL" and there was a poem in the movie I liked, so I thought I would share...hope you enjoy ![]() ******************** Pleasure turns to the pain of lessons learned from the strain of the questions burned in my brain about whether love is humane in its touch These thoughts are like salmon swimming upstream in the tears of your deceit Fighting a current hurt that kills more than is created by the chaos of our intertwined emotions Chaotic because the anchor of Eros’ arrow has been plucked from the vessel of my undying infatuation Separation not as simple as the distance between us My mind no longer possessed by the demons that had been the overseers of my enslavement to your lies The seeds of these lies rooted so deeply they’ve cracked the foundation of what we once shared Allowing the faith in us I had sealed inside to gush out like a river Ripping the image of our future together from my thoughts as violently and as brutally as if it were a child being taken from its mothers arms I’m left surrounded in darkness but I refuse to be swallowed by it My loneliness like night air; invisible to the eye obvious to the touch, in its cold uncomfortable ness Yet If I could do all over again I’d do it in the same skin I’m in To lay down and let love die, just stay down and let love lie No, no, no, no, not I I’ll stay around and let love fly Even though I’ve seen its darkest form; deceit Nothing else could tastes this warm or feel this sweet... | ||||||
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