This is absolutely true. The names have been omitted to protect the, ahem, innocent...

A couple of years ago an ex of mine started working in a shop I go to regularly. We've been on good terms for a long time so it wasn't a problem.

One night a few months ago she sent me a friend request on Facebook. Again, nothing unusual - it's about her 5th profile. So, as usual, I accepted.

Only, this time, about an hour later my phone rang... "Well, I know who this is!" I answered and, sure enough, I heard a familiar voice, having obviously had a few drinks...

After a bit of general chitchat and some catching up, she brought up her ex. My best mate. Yes, I broke the rules...

Her: He could never understand it. He was so pissed off! "Is his cock bigger than mine?"
Me: 😂
Her: You didn't ask how I answered...
Me: Well, no. Because that would have been me asking the same question!
Her: I told his his was bigger, but yours was *harder*. I mean, you were this skinny runt with this fucking... *thing* sticking out in front of you!
Me: 😂
Her: You do have a very nice cock...
Me: Well, thank you... 🤭😂
Her: So, there you go - you can go and have a wank about that now!
Me: what a pity I've already had one! 😂

Considering the last time she saw it was 15 years ago, I must have made an impression! 😂

Giving these things a try. The first few seconds are nasty. More bitter than sour. After that, they're actually really nice!

12 or 13 I think... 😂

Not just one of the best matches I've seen on AEW - one of the best matches I've ever seen!

I'd be tempted to try a nudist site or beach, just for the experience. But true naturists say it's about de-sexualising the human body. That's not what I want! I don't want a woman to look at me naked and not even notice my dick. I don't want to see a naked woman and not look at her boobs. It's more exhibitionism I want rather than naturism. But I'm not sure many public places cater for the simple pervert! 😂

So tomorrow (well, later today) I'm travelling to a wedding. The journey involves a bus ride from home to a railway station. Then a train to another station. Then another train to another station. Then another train to another station. Then one last train to the last station.

It's the kind of journey that would give anybody agita (lil nod to the Sopranos...) but I'm already feeling anxiety about the anxiety it will cause!

Apparently feeling anxiety about anxiety is fairly common. But bloody hell! I've realised tonight it's a major part of my anxiety on the late shift at work. I'm feeling anxious about the anxiety before I've even left the house!

It's a wedding. It should be a fun occasion! I mean, apart from the fact it's already cost me over 300 quid... 😬 But I just can't shake it!

I vaguely remember a time when I was almost fearless. I'd jump into any social occasion or situation without a moment's thought. But just like I get wobbly on a set of steps at work now, somehow age brings with it certain insecurities.

To quote the Australian comedian Jim Jefferies, "I'm on antidepressants, but I drink, so I'm not on antidepressants..." But I am taking my meds with me.

There's no real reason for saying all this other than, the advice on one website was "share your concerns with an unbiased party". So, guess what - you're all my unbiased party! 😂

Anyway, it's unlikely I'll take any pics while I'm there but you never know...

It's an individual time trial in the Giro d'Itiala today so I thought I'd share some wisdom from an ex professional cyclist.

A few years Chris Boardman did a feature on the mentality of the individual time trial.
You set off and you set a pace. You ask yourself "can I keep this up until the finish?"
If the answer is yes - you're going too slow.
If the answer is no - you're going too fast.
The answer you want is "maybe..."