For those who havent read my last blog, jakey is my youngest sons nickname. Its around 6 am , jakey woke me up around 3 ish and since i was off work tonite i let my wife get some extra sleep time. I have to say jakey been a true miracle in my life , his laughter and smile has been a blessing. When they say it only takes one time ( sexual intercourse0 its true hes living proof. When my wife told me i was totally against having him i was so worried about us as a family finacially. It wasnt till i really sat down and let my mind think about the situation did it dawn on me. I was doing the same as my dad did to my mom 31 years ago. Back in 1972 my dad wanted to have me aborted and thankfully my mom decided to keep me, although it led to there divorce. To this day i have never really known the reason why my dad didnt want me , its a subject we dont discuss, but its also in the past and i have forgiven him for it( i think). I decided after thinking for a few days that no matter what god had given me a wonderful gift and i would some how get by and maybe become a stronger , better person for it. I do have to say i have i think the last 4 years have been a blessing with him in my life. I promise once i get a dig camera i will show you how cute the little rascal is lol.

Brian
P.S.- thanks for all the wonderful comments vvbg you trully are a wonderful special classy lady

I am not sure if i have told anyone on here that i have 3 kids G who is 10 ( my step son) Grace ( a nickname i call her) who is 6 and jackey who is 4. Its amazing kids have unconditional love. I work graveyard shift and watch my youngest son during the day. Well on one of my off nights recently jakey woke up and wanted me to lay next to him and play halo 3 with him and of course i did how can i say no to those big hazel eyes. So there i am playing and talking with him and his head laying on my shoulder and i realize this is a a little slice of heaven taking place right before me.

I have always wondered something that i will never know the answer to . Have you ever wondered who would come to your funeral. What it would be like who actually would be there. I have wondered this for such a long time, i mean which one of my friends would be there. Who would be upset and who would be sad. I wonder what would be said about me, good or bad i will never know really. i hope i have enough friends in my life that a few would show, i also wonder what family members would show. Do anyone else ever wonder about things like this by chance, let me know please thanks for reading and till next time have a good day.

Well i took a few days off from blogging. I missed a day or two since i was off from work sun and mon ( i have to recover from working 3rd shift and watching my 4 year old son during the day). I read my fave persons blog ( very very bad girl) and i just wanted to mention my dealings with child abuse and or neglect. I have had a duaghter who had once been choked by her babysitters grandson ( luckily she doesnt remeber and my wife walked in on it) I trully can say the subject disgust me , I mean kids really are our future and some people may not understand the kids that this happens too alot of times they turn and have problems as adults, to me it just a terriable circle that keeps spinning around. I trully hope people who are doing this or have had it done to them please please i beg of you talk to someone about it, we have to something break the circle of violence and neglect. There are people out there who can help talk to a friend and priest someone please. I made the sacrifice of getting less sleep during the day to make sure my children are safe, and i trully am grateful the time had built a close bond with my daughter and 4 year old son. I think this is all i have to say i dont want to seem like im getting on a soapbox and preaching or something, but i do beg people again get the help and talk things over make changes in your life now that will help you and help future generations yet to come

Brian

Hey all, hows everyone this is my first attempt at a blog so excuse me for all my spelling mistakes and wackiness and or craziness that will happen. Well i think my first bit of buisness should be a little bit about myself. My first name is Brian and i am 35 years old i have been married to a wonderul woman for almost 7 years now and we have had 2 kids togther a girl who is 6 and a boy who is 4, i also have a stepson who is 10 now. I met my wife at a club one nite playing hookie from work 6 weeks later we get married and find out she is pregnant. I promise more into that later. I work 3rd shift at a grocery store stocking shelfs, its not what i imagined id be doing but it pays the bills. I have alot of issues in my life ( who doesnt) I have issues with expressing how i feel ( basically im a chicken) Im affraid of so much and i know alot of that is from being very skinny growing up and not being physically able to stand up for myself , i think it also wore down my self confidence too. i have been on here for id say 2 years but recently just started to look at blogs, Very very bad girl is one of my faves to read and i try to read hers and a few more each day. Well thats all for today i have to get kids ready for school. Thanks for listening to me rant.