Ohhhkay. The last time I wrote I was 3 months prego and happy. Right now I am a MOTHER and I have been for the past 3 months. I gave birth to a Beautiful Bright Eyed Baby BOY!!! He was born on December 14th at 2:47 am. He was 5 pounds 10 ounces and His name is Maverick Vian Valez. He is the love of my life, my everything AND MORE WAY MORE! I never thought I would be excited to be a mother. But the moment I looked into his big bright grey eyes in the delivery room I knew that I would be the best mother ever. He deserves that.

I guess you're wondering about the father and I. We're fine... we still stay in the same house. He's finally gotten through his head that the likelyness of us getting married is the same odds as pigs learning how to fly and dogs learning to talk. Im still a sex addict...dua... I hope you didnt think it would go away that easily did ya?! haha. We dont get to have sex as much as we used too... about three times a day . We've also come to the conclusion that I might be able to get back some of my other "friends" although Im not too sure that I want them anymore. I'll always need sex but Mav is the only man that I will EVER NEED more than AIR.

The Parentials and friends finally moved out of the house! Thank GOODNESS!!!! Mav, the father and I are ALONE. AND COULDNT BE HAPPIER ABOUT THAT! dont get me wrong for the first month or two i needed my mother to be there 24/7. But now im getting the hang of things and I told her that if i needed her that bad that i would call. Im still in school... the father takes care of Mav during the day while im in class. Yep... life is good...and will only get better. I gotta go...my Mavy is calling me... its time for a bottle and BED. I'll write again soon.

Serenity ... *A New Woman Back In Size 3 Jeans!* =D

=)... Im back and a little more happier then once before. Not much but a little bit. In the midest of all my 'ranting' i didnt give any information about whats going on w/ this little...uhh person inside me. Well I am 12 weeks as of monday *yay*!!!...:| My due date is on or around Dec 21st. Everyone thinks its going to be a girl, personally i want a boy. But because im not a nice person to people and i never get what i want, it'll probably be a girl. lol. If it is i've already decided to name her either December NaTalia (natalia means born on christmas) if shes born on christmas or Independence Sol. If its a boy i will name him either Maddox which means son of the lord, Maverick which means Wildly Independent =0D! or If all else fails i'll name it after his sperm donater. Tristian Vian. I should be finding out the sex in another month or something, so i'll keep you all posted on weather i'll be the mother of a baby boy or girl. Im beginning to get a little excited about this whole mom thing..Not much... just a little. I mean i cant be angry forever! I might as well enjoy everyone catering to my every need now because when the baby gets here they'll forget about me.

The sperm donater is still around. Not by my choice... trust me i'd rather him walk away. He annoys the HELL out of me. He had enough NERVE to suggest we get married before the babies born so it wont be a 'bastard'. WTF, I am NOT marrying him. My child will be a proud bastard. I'd rather it never see us together in that way. Then to see us break up in the future.Dont get me wrong, I have love for him...(more then necessary) but i dont want to be a married woman. A mommy ok.. i can deal... but a mommy and a WIFE? uhh can we say stepford??? No thanks...i still want my freedom. Its bad enough that im already playing the part of his prize. Showing me and my growing belly to the world. Doesnt he realize that being FAT is nothing to RAVE about???! Men will never learn.

Besides the baby thing and the having NO LIFE thing. Im maintaining. I dont bitch as much. But then again i have no room to bitch because there's always something in my mouth. I cant stop eating. lmao. Im eating healthy though, i dont want to be a butterball. Annnnd, the sperm donater is giving me mucho pleasure. I guess thats how i got into this situation in the first place. I was about to kick him out just for gp but he put it on me and he's here to stay as long as he doesnt start slackin. I expect sex once a day until my tummys too big to see over and even then i might still demand it. haha... ! School is out and im happy. I have one more year and im still going to do it, baby and all. Well im done ranting. Thanks for the advice and kind words. I guess i'll make it through this after all.

love you!!!

Everyone says...I should be happy!... HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!...Im Happy... im like fucking ecstatic! hahahah... Does anyone here sense the sarcasm??? See YOU all get it... Too bad they dont...*sigh* So I came into this expecting for everyone to hate me and lecture me on how i was being a 'fool'. I guess im just left to lecture myself on how much of how irresponsible i am....

So yea...I walked through my mothers doors last sat with my mind already made up that my body would be making another whole in the wall next to it when my mom threw me out of her house by my hair. But instead she just smiled! and hugged me with tears of... JOY!!! ... Yeah I know i seem like this little bitch who looks at all these good things as bad things but see you dont know my mother. SHES PSYCOTIC. I mean one minute shes like a Hot Latina Mother Teresa and next shes a LATIN BITCH FROM THE SECRET PITS OF HELL!!! *screams*. So when she smiles its like hell froze over and the devil has hypothermia...Seriously :|

Anyways now shes like suuuuper excited that shes going to have another baby around. *yay me*...:| She wont leave me the hell alone. Between her my sister and the damn boyfriend like figure person that sleeps in the same house as me. I dont know who i want to kill more. I get no peace im always dragged into conversations about kids. I've even started to find them weird ass 'im a new parent please help me before i commit suicude' magz like american baby magically spread around my house. *Cringes*

This whole ordeal is enough to make a person go bananas. On top of that i have ZERO time for SEX. *sheds a tear* See my mother is always here now and even though its my house I wont disrespect her by jumping my boyfriend like male figure persons's bones with her in the house. Orgasmo has been put in the very back of the closet so i cant even please myself. The only alone time i have is the shower most of the time, and trust me... the water doesnt stay warm long enough for me to get off. So im sexually frustrated... Im getting FAT. MY moms a PAIN IN MY NEWLY FATTENED ASS (i went from a 3 to a 5) HOLD ON MO'NIQUES FAT CHANCE... HERE I COME!!! The BF Figure somethin or another wont give me a MOMENTS PEACE. No one leaves me alone by myself anymore. My house has turned into a fucking HOSTEL (my mom, the male figure person, my sister, my twin nephews, and my best friend (the only one i can tolorate)) Ohh and the bestest part EVER is Im Hugging the toilet every morning for an HOUR or more faithfully and Im tossing my cookies ATLEAST 3 more times during the day... Yep... Life is goood...

OH GOSH... SOMEONE SHOOT ME NOW!!! Right in the temple...I promise to leave a note for the cops not to arrest you. 0 Ok so i know you're tired of my 'mood swings' haha! :| So i'll be going hopefully next blog i'll be feeling better...but that will only happen if these fuckers let me life my LIFE...

Its not Likely but hey a girl can wish cant she???!

Well hell mine can! i never would of thought in a billion years that i me... ME Omg ME! Serenity would be a mother. Soooo not in my 10 year plan. Soooo not what i wanted. Sooo not in my control. This is going to be my breaking point. I know it, I can already feel myself breaking. But like i said before... there is nothing that i cant do. As cold hearted as I am i cannot kill it. Its just not something i can live with. Adoption is always an answer... but not for me. See i made the mistake of telling the father... Oh gosh. The night i ranted on here i called him... we had sex... several times. lol ! It was great as normal...afterwards he went to sleep. and I being the EMO *insert bad word here* that i am right now. I sat up crying. Yea, i know right... im a real woman of steel *rolls eyes*. Anyways I woke him up and instead of beating around the bush... i chopped the fucker DOWN! I told him everything. Now i was expecting the classic "what are you gonna do?" or "its not mine" or even the "what the fuck do you want me to do about it" lines. I got nothing like that, what i got scared the hell out of me. He just looked like (0_0) for about a half hour lol. Then he hugged me and said that everything was going to be 'alright', and he'd be there for "our family". He looked happy...and believe it or not... that was the SCAREST THING EVER. Yeah so now he's staying over here...not that i mind because that means i dont have to call him for sex lol. But he's always wanting to talk about the baby... and im like DUDE! NO! GO AWAY!. Its only been a week and im like ahhh either fuck me or leave me alone. I dont want to think of names...i dont want to think of damn nursery wallpaper and shit. I just want to be stress free... meaning... fuck me! >O!!! If I didnt know better...i'd think he's been secretly wishing for this...

This has been the WORST FUCKING WEEKEND OF MY LIFE. I am still in fucking shock... I need sex... i need to be fucked 956,243,243 ways from monday to get over this feeling. Right now though i dont think sex is really what i should want... sex is what has gotten me into this shit in the first place, but like air i need it. I want to cry, i shouldnt feel like this. I knew something was wrong when i started spotting. I should of went to the doctor. But hell when you have a .2 percent chance of having a "problem". WHY go through the stress of calling? I am sooo stupid. Now my only question to myself is wtF am I going to do??? I love my BF's to death BUT i love my freedom more. The one i have to tell about my problem is "insane". Yes he is crazy and though he is off his rocker i love him like crazy. But ... having "problems" was NOT in our written agreement. I can only imagine what he'll do to me. this sucks... I need air...i need dick and i know who i CANT call for it. Im still amazed at the fact that i still want to have sex...then again im addicted to sex i guess if i had a nicotine addiction i'd be searching for a pack of newports huh? I cant type anymore... i need to make a call.Though he'll end up flipping out afterwards... i need him. I need him to fuck the shit out of me until i just collapse. I need pain...i deserve it. He always gets a thrill when i tell him to "punish me" this time though...he'll be unknowingly punishing me for a reason. No more tears... well at least until i wake up next to him in the morning and tell him the REAL reason why i called him over...

Ok so its been a loooooong time since i've updated. But i have been "busy". Nice weather means PARTYS! So my social calander has been booked. On the positive side, i've met a few guys that are great! One of them may be joining my boyfriend circle. Well as soon as his test results come back. He wanted to have sex with me this past weekend and i couldnt do it. Im not comfortable with it unless i know your status and i SEE the results. But he did give me...oral pleasure and it was ssooooo good. It was good to the point where i GUSHED! not squirted but Gushed! That means im gettin close right???!!! =oD!!! I guess it was the combo of his tongue and fingers that did it. I know about g-spot stimulation but hell he was RIGHT ON IT and wouldnt let up. Im glad my hands were tied or i probably would of missed out on the gush because i wanted to push his head away so bad. He said that that was just the beginning... hell i believe him. I've never came so hard through oral in my LIFE. I was ACHING to return the favor, his dick was calling me. But i had to just ignore my throbbing and remember that this is SERIOUS. No Papers no pussy...no nothing. BUT i did jack him off. It was fun, i even convinced him to let me try "something" as he came lol!!! When i felt his dick harden i stuck my (lubed up) finger in his butt. I didnt ram it i just slid it in. ROFL his eyes damn near bugged out his head!!! But he came like an EARTHQUAKE! I had cum all in my hair and shit...it was awesome! Im not a fan of cum anywhere on my face, hair ect. I mean if thats what gets him off then yea i'd let him but its not something that i really enjoy. This time i had to ignore the urge to tell him my "ask before you aim" rule because it was so damn beautiful. He says that he's going to teach me a few things. But i think im teaching him more. He's successfully passed the mind sex thing. Sometimes i get the need to cum...ok ALL the time lmao. But i just dont feel like getting up and taking off clothes. Sometimes i just wanna talk dirty...while making eye contact...kind of in an INTENSE gase....ohh i it!...This guy it pretty "flexable" im sure i can get him to the point of my other ones. I had to explain to him the way I "get down" with the "other" boyfriends thing. He said its not an issue now but if we "fall in love" *PSSSSH! Yeah Right* Then there might be an issue. I have to be honest the love thing had me about to back out but then he went down and i forgot all about it. lol OHHH! Guess what?!?!! I had to let go of one of my boyfriends (thats why the new guy is around). He wanted too much. I love being free. He wanted to lock me down. I mean the sex is good but its not good enough for me to think about being tied down to him. He gave me this bullshit line like "this is the point in our lives when we both should be thinking about our future...longterm. I want kids and a family" BLAH! I told him that Im Still young in no way shape or FORM am i looking for a wedding ring anytime soon. And theres no way in HELL that im messing up my shape (pregnancy). He left quietly, thank goodness because i thought he was going to turn psycho...*you know good sex does that to a man or woman* So now im down to 2 boyfriends i know i know...i had 4... the other one...well lets just say that i might have broken him. He couldnt get it up half the time and when he did it the sex was *womp womp* so i let him go. BUT we're still friends =D!. Which is all good. The two that i have are working overtime because my sexual desire level has quadrupled in the past few months. It must be the weather or just the year...something I dunno. But what i do know is that i am HAPPY. No problems nothing. For once in my life. I havent found a job for when i get out of school for the summer. But i've had some interesting offers. This guy from around here (bout an hour away) wants to add me to his.."collection". Now i've always wanted to do a porno but im not sure. The guy says i can wear a mask, contacts w/e i need to conceal my idenity and that the tapes arent going to be duplicated. I told him to send me a contract stating such and i'd concider it if the contract looks legit. His reasons are because he's getting older and he wants to remember his sexual excapades when he gets old and viagra no longer works. He doesnt look that old but it might be genetic to go limp dicked at a certian age. lol =p!!! Like i said...im concidering it. I have lots of stuff to concider... *sigh* like for instance One of my bfs keeps hinting on a three/foursome with the other bfs its HELLA tempting but shit...thats alot to deal with. But knowing me if i get in one of my ultra sex modes it might just happen. Hopefully there will be a video camera some where because i want this on file! Ok i know this has been SOOOO LONG im sooooo sorry for boring you! I just love having a place that i can vent all my "secret" stuff. I have friends but sometimes you'd rather not let them know EVERYTHING that goes on. Anyways thanks for being good readers...I LOVE YOU ALLLL!!!!!!!!!!

I didnt squirt. How upsetting, BUT i did learn something!!! I learned how to make my orgasms 10 times more intense! WHOOO! See with things like sex toys...especially with a very high vibration. Its hard to hold in your orgasm. On my toy it has this pulse feature where the little ticklers pulse. And when they pulse i get all ... well you know. lol I had my rabbit pulsing for 45 minutes. 45 great minutes of PURE Bliss! Anyways after 45 minutes i put it on the regular vibration. Not even 1 minute later i had an earth shaking oragasm. No squirt action! but non the less the best fuckin orgasm of my LIFE! I couldnt even get up afterwards. Haha i woke up in the morning with my toy in my hand. and guess what?!?!? I did it ALLLLLLL over again!!!!!! HAHA! Sadly i havent been able to use it in the past few days...the batteries ran out But i went to radio shack and picked up some rechargable batteries and the charger...I will NEVER have a lonely night again. Hey i might even replace one of my boyfriends with him...Yes i said him. I named my Rabbit...his name is Orgasmo!!!!!!!! Oh...he's callin me...gotta go.

And OMG is it fuckin GREAT. I got an I Vibe Rabbit in Strawberry. Ohh my gosh...i dont think i'll ever need a man again...No scratch that. I'll always need a man. But this thing is great. As soon as it got here on friday i took it on a test drive. I must have came like 5 times in a row. Tonight im going to play some more...and take some pix...heh I hope i squirt. But i havent done that in a long time. With this lil bunny anything is possible. Maybe you guys will get lucky and my first pix will be ones of me squirting. *crosses fingers* WISH ME LUCK!!!

Well None of you know me so please allow me to introduce myself. Im Serenity, Im a 20 year old panamanian female who absolutely loves sex. Well i mean thats obvious seeing as i wouldnt be here if i didnt. I am very open minded and sexually opened as well. I have 4 boy-"friends" *yes they all know about eachother* i have a bit of a faithfullness issue so i decided to just let them know. I love sex as i have said before, but sometimes sex with the same person gets boring. So i have 4 to choose from. In my profile it says i like guys and girls. Right now im bi-curious. I have never been with a female, but if one comes along and i get a good vibe from her then im sure i would try it. I love sex in public so anyone (male or female) who likes sex in public also will definately get my approval. One of the craziest places i've had sex in was at the club with one of my guy friends. It was fuckin awsome. (i'll get into more detail about that in another blog)Also im really into strangers. I have this fetish/ fantasy of having sex with a stranger (protected of course) i mean theres nothing like meeting someone, and fucking the hell out of them. No words...no names...just straight fucking. I admit that i am more then a little bit to handle...most of the men i talk to cant handle me. Which is all well and good. I love what i love and i am who i am. Some of you may thinkthat i am too into sex for my age, well to youi say FUCK YOU Sex dosent define me...it keeps me from inflicting bodly harm on people you. Anyways to anyone who isnt judging me then please know that i am up for cybers, cam2 cam cybers (no faces though...i kinda want to be a lil mysterous). and for the Ladies who think you can be my first...dont hesitate to send me a note.

Alrighty Im going to go browse and see if i can find something to get me in the mood lol (that wont take long) lol...

Later NN