Shyguy1976's blog post - Something I feel people here should know about me ....

Hi NN peeps

I am here to help explain a bit about myself.. I have a mental illness.. it makes me not see myself the way you do.. It makes me think and feel that I am a nothing but fat piece of shit and that my opinion means nothing to anyone.

I am very hard on myself.. and I have an impossible time believing you when you share your honest opinion of me..

I am not ever disregarding or disrespecting you and your truths.. I appreciate them so much. My illness takes over and at times.. I can't help myself.

I need everyone to know that it is 100% all about me.. When I blurt out negative comments about myself.. I am not thinking about you and your comments much at all.. I am only thinking about how ugly/horrible ect I am.. and I feel bad that I am inflicting myself upon the world.

I get caught up in the self hatred sometimes and it may seem bad timing. Especially when someone might be giving me a compliment..

I work on this part of myself and just wish I could be better understood..No one seems to understand me and takes what I say the wrong way so hopefully this will help you all and NOT take what I say personally and get defensive and feel that their comments are being thrown in their face. So maybe before you are quick to judge me maybe you should TRY abd understand me more and why I am the way I am.

I am learning you should NEVER judge people by what they say or feel cause you don't nor will ever know what is going on in their mind OR in real life. This is why I LOVE dogs so much... they NEVER judge you and they love you unconditionally. If we had that in our world I feel the world would be a much better place.

So before you are quick to vent in public cause YOUR feelings were hurt I ask you to please explain your feelings IN PRIVATE to that person so they can maybe be better understood and that maybe you will learn things about them you don't know , I see statuses about people and they don't name names so they can get away with t but I feel that is wrong cause then other people who know nothing about your situation can chime in and I personally know it feels.. it feels like you are getting ganged up on and cyber bullied. Don't be that bully... We are not in high school no more and sometimes I feel that this site is like I'm back in high school all over again.

Thank you for understanding and reading

Shy