Saturday night. The scene: A gay club

My gay friend has disappeared to use the loo, so I'm waiting on a sofa outside.
Two guys turn up. Look at me. And say 'She's hot.'
I say nothing.
One of them sits down next to me: 'So, can I kiss you?'
Me: 'No???'
Guy: 'Why not?'
Me: 'Coz I don't kiss random people? I don't even know your name!'
Guy: 'I'm Matt, what's yours?'
I told him my name.
Then he kissed me. Or tried to. I could feel his tongue against my lips. when he realised he wasn't getting anywhere, he got up and left.

THE CHEEK!!!