Team Sleep's blog post - cunnilingus

so today on the long drive across the prairies I was thinking about dicks.

I got an email from someone I haven't seen in a very long time. someone I slept with as a teenager. I was experienced at 18, but still a green girl in many ways. I had had a lot of sex and knew technically what to do, but I never ever came from it, and wasn't really connected with my partners. I had sex for the wrong reasons then, as a substitute for intimacy. I don't even remember what I did with him on the half dozen or so occasions that we fucked. all I remember is that he had a big cock and I got bored because he thrusted for a very long time. and the time I made him cum in my mouth when my roommate was in the room and watching us... but I digress.

that was seven years ago; I haven't seen him in at least 5. I would love to explain my new (to him) attitude toward sex and perhaps demonstrate on his cock. I would love to slowly ease myself onto him and ride him, or make him fuck me hard from behind... oddly, I used to never enjoy those positions because they made me so self conscious, but now they are my absolute favourites.

I think I must have been very quiet last time he fucked me; this time I will be so loud with my cries as he rams me from behind that I will have to cover my face and bite into pillows for the sake of his roommates.

but before all that, I would crawl up into his lap, and whisper in his ear, "eat my pussy." I never used to enjoy having men going down on me, because, again, I was self conscious. as well, it seemed none of the guys I dated knew how to do it or enjoyed doing it. with age and experience and confidence, I got very good at telling a man exactly what I want. part my lips like this. lick my clit like this. finger me like this. I would hold his head down as I got wetter and wetter and finally exploded all over his face.

then I would demand he fuck me.

or, I could return the favour.

I would not suck his cock again, like I did when I was 18 -- I would instead make love to it. I love giving head. it's intoxicating. I would allow us both to be enthralled.

I missed out on a lot of good sex when I was younger. that's not to say I didn't have sex. I was physically there, present and aware of what was going on... but I was never fully open to it. it's hard to explain, and it is also sad because I never had orgasms or really gained very much physical pleasure from it al all. it's as if I were physically stunted due to my emotional stuntedness -- my mental inability to really, truly engage translated to an inability to physically engage. I didn't even realize it until I was 20 and consummated a relationship with an older lover after a dry spell of eighteen months. I was able to unleash my mind and body on him. it was amazing and transforming. and really hot.

so now I am looking forward to reconnecting with this boy from years past. he doesn't know it yet; formally, at least, he is still in the "catching up" email phase. I'm sure he has no idea that I've been thinking about how amazed he'll be about how wet I'll be for him, or how vocal and loud I can be, or how ruthlessly I will tease him before finally allowing him to slide his cock all the way into me. or maybe his mind works the way mine does and he is eager, too, to show me all the things he has learned since then. maybe it will be a very nice reunion.