TravelinJack
Gift PremiumI'm a pretty easy going guy, I love to meet new people and explore myself and help others explore themselves as well. With that, I hope I get a chance to talk to many on here.
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- 42 years old
- Male
- Joined 20 years ago
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TravelinJack's Blog
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Sunday, November 14, 2004, 5:34:32 PM- Hand me down | ||||||
Here's the post a lot of people aught to relate to. In my weekly fights for the truth I've choosen the issues that hit the heart and soul for me. Last week I love was choosen, this week I decided to write about the effects of a love gone wrong. One in particular was a college girlfriend a lot of trouble that came from it. Trouble is a interesting word to use. It was a lot of bad experiences. I had a girl friend that I lost touch with and my best friend and roommate ended up switching colleges cause he didn't want me to be hurt by her calling when they decided to get together. Moreover, he feared I would kick his ass. Well, I'm a philosopher, I'm not a fighter. Most of all, I didn't care and knew months before he told me. There was no real love between her and I, we just had a good time. Thats it, nothing more and thats fine. We knew it was over and that was fine too. But in this case through all the events. Her and I both became a "Hand me down". She was handed to my friend and I to the next in line I suppose. I get this reference from a Matchbox 20 song that made a lot of sense to me when I heard it. So perhaps instead of venturing into all of it, I'll simply put the lyrics. Think well my faithful reader. We all are "Hand me downs" in our own ways. We all have broken up and made up and made love and made hate. This is for her, the girl who was handed down and then ended up utterly destroying my best friend. This is for my friend who still searches for answer. This is for you reader. Hand me down "Someday they'll find your small town world on a big town avenue. Gonna make you like the way they talk, when they are talking to you. Gonna make you break out of your shell, cause they tell you too. Gonna make you like the way they lie better than the truth. They'll tell you everything you wanted someone else to say. They're gonna break your heart, man, from what I see. You're just one more Hand Me Down. And no one's tried to give you what you need. So lay all your troubles down. I am with you now. Somebody aught to take you in, try make you love again. Try make you like the way they feel when they are under your skin. Never once do you think they would lie when they are holding you. You start wonder why they haven't called when they said they'ld call you. You'll start wonder if you're ever gonna make it by. You'll swear you were born blind, from what I see. You're just one more Hand Me Down, and no one's tried to give you what you need. So lay all your troubles down, I am with you now. I'm here for the hard times. The straight to your heart times. When living ain't easy you can stand up against me, and maybe rely on me and cry on me, yeah." Add a couple more choruses and thats the song. Til later my reader. Farewell upon the path of life. | ||||||
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Thursday, November 11, 2004, 6:36:25 AM- To the song that needs to be sang | ||
It seems we've hit so much sparatic philosophy in these blog entries that its hard to really determine the nature of it all. Really, its just random thoughts, I save the good stuff for my book (asks nicely and I give free copies...thats how it works). This entry tonight is for everyone whose ever had to move on. Remember that perfect first love? The first time you made love? That movement where sweetness takes over melting and the rivers seem eternal and the growth never ends? I do. I do. Her name will be restricted obviously, but I was head over heals for her, she was my world, the moon, the sun, the stars, my gin and tonic. Things were wonderful. It was a New Years Eve. I was younger...much younger than I am now (20's)... really ...not that much younger I guess, but... 16 17 area. Anyway, we made love. It was slow...hot...passionate. The fire we created could not be matched (as of yet anyway). Things happen as they always do. It was finally another guy in a band who had the same name as me actually. He played guitar in his band too...but I sang so ...up his Seriously though, I suppose times come when you have to let yourself once again let things go. This is mine. The song that has to be sang. I mean time comes and you have to know, and I believe I'm quite tired and its quite over. I remember telling her that it was up to her, the things that she wanted to hold or let go into pieces. Pieces we became. Crashed upon loves eternal road of failure and... I realized I had to move on. I had to or die. And it took a long time and I think some of my feelings that I had for her are still the last that hang out in the party. I mean, I had plans for everything with her. And here I am tonight looking up at the stars and reminded of her. Sad, aren't I? No, I don't think so. As I said its over. I live my life alone and my every step is echoing on pavement. The spell she had is indeed broken, but... all I knew was her. So here we are with two dichotomic personalities within me at this moment. All you sociologist and psychologist be watching. Simply put, there is only one. She turned to something I could never love. For every chemical she traded a piece of her soul and everyone she thougth she knew, didn't know her at all. I saw her my last trip home. We waved hello and I wished we never waved goodbye. My feelings have been shot up. Crash. Love, is a horrific song with such a beautiful dance with wonderful tears and a horrid history. We fall apart as we're put back together. Now, I can only wonder what you're thinking and I congratulate you if you're reading this line. Perhaps, I will look at this thought another time and it will make much more sense. But for now, sweet reader, move on. | ||
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Monday, November 8, 2004, 2:25:56 AM- What's our mission? | ||
Childhood dreams are enveloped in the "american dream", a dream we all seek even now in my oldening age. Yea yea yea, I'm young, I know, but I'm intellegent enough to know limitations and opportunity costs. Needless to say opportunity losts is more of a better term for this. So really, I'm sitting here and thinking what is my mission? What am I doing here? How have I impacted anything at all? I interact in a ring of human life, and has that made a impression on anyone? Yes, it has. Beyond any measure it has. But I don't really know the true point of it. I'm sitting once again typing to you with my dog watching Fox on my chair. My mission... is to protect that little darling package that is a alarm clock that eats and wakes me up in the middle of the night. My mission is to change the unchangable and fight the fights that are yet to be thought of. Silly, isn't it? Dreaming, even more possibly. But what's your mission? Try this one. "Tears came to the eyes of the boy who looked out upon the drop. The night's sparkle and light reflected perfectly upon the water and the girl. He had nothing left to lose. At the young age of 19, his life had been decided. It was her. My god her." Indeed, my god her. This person's mission was her. What's mine? You decide it. I can't look into my own soul, but you, my faithful readers, see my soul bared onto a blog for you. What is my mission. With tears I will say, it is you, reader. It is you. | ||
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Sunday, November 7, 2004, 8:59:03 AM- After a long entry, we'll try to keep this one short | ||||||
If you're still reading then somehow you made it through that monster of a post last time. I congratulate you and bring you your reward. Simple wisdom. Wisdom to see past that which often imprison us. This wisdom is simple. Did you give up on something today? Did you spend the day doing nothing but watching TV or inside the dark shadowy room while it rained outside? Its really simple to miss some big things in life because they are so small. Let me explain further. Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and for some reason I saw a rose that had survived all our fall/wintery weather of the Indiana's (still new to me) and its beauty was inspiring. I came on here and looked at a few pics, sending feed back where I could, but there was one person where I could see their eyes and I could see so much. The movement of my heart (which is a little bit older and colder sometimes) was rather amazing. In that moment, I felt I could write the most intense love scene...possibly ever of my authoric career, that I can post later. For too long, you've let things hold you under with tears, realize that life is the heat of a summer rain, its the red of a rose, its in the soft breathing of a dog like companion that keeps your feet warm as you type something on your blog. This heart is a little bit older, but I'm going to try to hold on. I hope you do too, oh faithful reader, I need you. | ||||||
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Friday, November 5, 2004, 6:21:43 AM- Holding on: The beautifully stunning horrific scene (Resumption) | ||
Let me give you a situation and see what you think. This little role play goes back to college time. As you may (or most likely do not know) I am a published poet and award winning one at that. I usually try to keep a small head about it, because the more you invest in your talent the better you are. The more you invest in your ego the more you lose ground with what you do best. I had this dream about creating a beautiful scenery that was so stunning I lost my breath (I am currently a web designer during the rest of my college years... I mean you gotta pay for it right? So a third of the talent is in design and graphics). But this scene was so beautiful, and then I was there. The grass felt cold under my bald feet, the air was stunningly pure without the touch of smokey factories and hussled people, the water that set in this place reflected a perfect vision of a half moon coming up to the night club that the stars like to hang out at. And so began the big novel that I'm beginning. I've wrote a lot of short stories during my youth. They were basically things like, oh this man is against this bad guy and he has to beat him and he did. Now plots suddenly come in items that hard to distinguish. I have 24 word files of shortened adventures of the new main character but there was a girl that has always chaised me in my dreams (oh yes, lets call her my dream girl), and always a man in black (oh yes lets call this...my nightmare). Now there are so many stringed plots and different hero vs. bad guy and outcomes that its just amazingly complicated. (about as complicated as this post) So with out further ado, I ask my readers here to stick with me. I love writing and everything about it. I love taking the worlds and people in them and bringing them into hardships and bringing them through or not through it in some poor areas. So, it all starts with this stunningly horrific land scape that will forever haunt me and be my salvation in this world where some people would rather step on your face then say Hi, I do pledge this: The world I create will show you everything that I have to show. This blog will be a place of thought with both beauty and horror, and I hope that I'm prepared to show all there is to show. Thank you all, and I'm prepared to go past this landscape into our world together. Follow me my friends, we leave to Discordia and back to a city where Angels great us and bring wonders we never expected. Here's to you readers, this is for you. | ||
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Thursday, November 4, 2004, 5:46:31 PM- Appreciation | ||||||
As I was about to end my NN career in defeat, someone commented on my blog. I'm a member of society that runs on feedback (hence forth learning by mistakes?) Well, this person is well thanked and is very much appreciated. I suppose, what I'll do is go into some thought about what to write on here, I'll do more then the "I'm looking for some ass" type thing. I think that thinking is possibly the most sexual thing we can do, we are sexual creatures and we are these creatures because we think, so... it makes sense a(a+b=c therefore c+b=a). So, here's to the drawing board of philosophy and nudology. | ||||||
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Thursday, November 4, 2004, 6:56:21 AM- I of the Mourning | ||||||
What's some of the classics you remember? I guess no one really read this, but I wished someone would and see something worth reading. I mean I am a author. Anybody remember Smashing Pumpkin's "I of the Mourning" Remember the lines: "Blow the dust off my guitars, in the attic with the stars. I read you letters to feel better, tears upon the fading ink, cause I of the Mourning have come. Pick up where my thoughts left off. I've come home to die on my own. As my radio plays my favourite song." If you remember this song, then you remember the electricity you felt when you heard "As my radio plays my favourite song" its the line that gets stuck in your head. The line that meant everything but nothing. Fun stuff. Comments? No? Too bad. | ||||||
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Saturday, October 30, 2004, 7:29:32 AM- Photos and Photos | ||
Its a beautiful thing, the human body that is. The female body, at least for me, is a temple that is best worshiped with lips and hands. I was just thinking of that looking over some of the profiles. I myself like to explore things (such as ice, lace, ropes, water, and anything interesting). Its very funny though, we are tied by what ever binds us. (Money binds us to a financial situation be it good or bad) So in the same way sex does to some of us, perhaps anyway. Sex binds us to one another. But sexual want doesn't really bind persay, but it can allow you to explore. Oh well, I don't think anyone may read this, but I think its interesting. I'll see you all later. | ||
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004, 6:25:50 PM- A long week | ||
Wow, its nice to sit back and look at all the lovely ladies after a long week of never ending work (I know its only Wednesday) Anyway, thanks for everyone's hi's and hello's and I'll post more after this week, I got some travelin to do, after all that is my name. | ||
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Saturday, October 16, 2004, 7:09:45 AM- A new start | ||||||
Well, I've just joined the site, hoping to make some new friends. Its 2 a.m. and I'm heading to St. Louis from a consulting job for this week. I hope this is a nice place and I hope to meet some new people. | ||||||
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