I sometimes wonder why humanity seems to have such a proclivity towards bashing others. Making mean spirited comments about someone else's appearance. Part of me is saddened by the events of last night, what started out with good friends hanging out. During the course of the night two people hooked up, and the male portion if the hook up's friends made belligerent and ignorant comments. One in particular really pissed me off, just made me shut off from the good time that had been going on so far in the night. Outside just wanting to gather my thoughts and try and look past this childish throng people came outside. THERE IS one guy who it pisses me off but I am attracted to. He is intelligent, but also obtuse when it comes to life and dealing with people. He starts rubbing my shoulders. It felt really good, but the relief his kneading hands should have provided just ended up making me feel more on edge. He then starts touching me somewhere he shouldn't. I thought about just raising up, punching or slapping the shit out of him. I just turned away. Other people outside obviously got the hint by my demeanor and nicely advised James that maybe "Mikey doesn't seem to be in the mood to be messed with." It finally hit me there. This man who I have been enamored with is shallow. He thinks his looks and his "golden penis" can make him irresistible to all and that he is oh so witty and charming to be able to say and do anything he wants. Well, I'm just done. Until he can show me depth of personality, common decency and emotion I will not be around him. No I don't think I'm perfect, if we stood side by side people would ask him what is he doing hanging out with someone like me. And its fine. This body belongs to the earth, gravity and time, my soul belongs to a higher power but my true essence my mind with all its thoughts and emotions belongs to me. |