I’m never free from my yesterdays. The haunting accusations surrounding mistakes I've made. I wonder when they will return to ambush me. The worst plays out in my head, imaginary scenarios and entire conversations. The accuser know what button to push. How to make me think the scenarios will become reality. Meeting someone that I genuinely like, whose friendship I really enjoy, it is the same as in the past. Never will this happen. Driving me to the edge. Knowing I will never be free or have peace. Even worse, knowing I will never be allowed to have love. |