angel/tits's blog post

My dad was told he had cancer 2 years ago he had all the treatment they could give him and in March this year he told me and my brother they have stopped the treatment as he got the all clear. We was so happy for him, knowing it could come back at any time.

I was living in Liverpool at this time but it didn't work out, so I moved in to a mates camervan back down west Sussex.

Three weeks ago my brother called asking me if I could pick dad up from the hospital and set with him till my brother got they as the hospital called him, so I picked my dad and stayed with him. When my brother got they he asked my dad what's going on.

Dad told us that the cancer was back, I huged him and he as all skin and bones, he used to be big but he has listed it all.
He asked me if I would move in here with him and to be his carer, I said of couse I will, so I move in to his flat.

On Sunday he had a fall, I manage to get him up on the lou, he had hit his head, my brother and my other got back and my brother took over and helped him get up and dad said he needed to sick, he was sick just the once but there was about a pint of blood in it, they both said that's not good. After getting him back to his bed did what we had to do to get him to the hospital, he was taken to A&E. At 12 he called my brother and said he was still waiting to be seen.

Then my brother called me telling me his going to see dad as the hospital has just called and said its not good, your dad is very very ill. We got to the hospital at about 3am.

The doctor took us in to a room and said I'm sorry to say its not good new, he has been bring more blood up and it's coming out the other end too, he said the blood is coming from the cancer and said we trying to stop the bleed but he said any more bleed is deadly to him, he told us the cancer was all over his body.
We said but he told us he had the all clear, that why no more treatment was needed, then he said no it was stopped becouse there was not working.
Only the last three weeks I've looked after him and he never told me was dieing, never said he was in any pain, just keeped saying he feels so useless.

The doctor ask us if we wanted them to try to bring him back and we both said no.
We went and saw him, he did look good, I knew it was a matter of time. At about 4am we went out side for a cig, we was going to stay and have one more before going to in to dad but same made us go back in, good job we did.

As when we got backat about 4.30am, I wake in fast to see dad bring sick and it's was blood, with me one side of the bed and my brother the other side we both told him we loved him and told him he could go now and at 4.54 he passed away.....