beachdreamz's blog post

Its 12:20 am - Do you know where your Beachy is?? AT HOME! What a crappy way to start the New Year. I had a few offers to go out tonight but I just wasn't into it.

I got a message earlier this week telling me that on New Years my grandfather was rushed to the hospital in another province, in the middle of a blizzard. Literally I think my heart stopped beating until I heard the words "Hes ok for now". Had I been at home I would have been half way out the door. My grandfather is not old (hes 63 I think) so I knew this was serious. About a week ago I had spoken to my grandmother who is also not well and who had a bad leg and because of it fallen down the stairs and hurt her shoulder. Add in the stress of my grandfather to the mix, and well I feel like shit that I am not there.

I have always been close to my grandparents, but a few years ago I saw a brand new side to them which I will forever be grateful for. When my ex and I broke up my grandmother got me to stay there so that I could look after the house while they were away. Then when she came back she wanted me to stay a bit longer so I could watch it again shortly as they were going away for over a month. During this time I learned what real love was.

I grew up in a home where "love" wasn't there. Don't get me wrong - I was never abused or mistreated and I have a lot of happy moments. But my parents were always fighting, never hugged or kissed in front of us (or kissed/hugged me). The one time I remember seeing my parents laying on the couch it was odd because I wasn't used to that. Move ahead a few years and my ex and I's relationship became what my parents had. I pretty much felt like love you see on tv/movies/etc wasn't real.

My grandparents showed me the real thing, just by being themselves, how they treated each other and everyone around them. My grandmother would put her arms around my grandfather and kiss him when he came home for lunch or at the end of the day. Whenever she spoke of him she would always call him "My man". He adored her right back and did everything to make her happy. Hell not many men marry a woman older than themselves who already have 7 kids.

Writing this blog I am not sad. I am sitting her smiling, and remembering things passed on to me. Should something ever happen to them I will cry but I am so blessed. So I missed a Saturday night with friends or the man of my dreams - instead I spent it with a lifetime of memories. Odd how blogging about one thing leads you down another path.