beachdreamz's blog post

I HATE being a jealous person but its who I am at the moment.

My brother (still a newlywed) called me last weekend to let me know his wife is pregnant. Today he called to tell me they bought a house. I am soooooooo proud of the person hes become. Truly when they say there are some good guys out there he is one of them. His wife is one lucky lady in my opinion.

So it makes me feel horrible how this is making me feel. He finally noticed tonight on the phone and wondered why I wasn't more happy for him. Hes not rubbing his happiness in my face or trying to make me feel bad. In fact I was the first person he called to tell about the house.

It makes me angry with myself that I have to get like this. I can see how I am hurting my other relationships with friends, etc because I am down and I don't want to be. My life is good right now and I want it to stay that way. I am hoping this is just a case of the green eyed monster because I like having the people in my life having so much to celebrate.

On a side note, yet another guy I dated recently has just got in contact. This now means of all the guys I dated in the past year or so, only two I have not heard from. LOL I just dont get it

PS - I deleted some pics last night and am probably going to delete a lot more. I wish I could just hide them or something. I dont like having a ton of pages of pictures but I also hate deleting the comments and memories that go with them