beachdreamz's blog post

OK so Fergie lied...Big girls DO cry. I am trying so hard - I swear I am. The tears haven't fallen yet today they just kind of gather.

I knew when I choose to move away from my family that I was going to be alone on the holidays. But knowing it and going through it are two different things. Overall 95% of the time I am beyond happy with my choice to move here. Just a few days here and there really hurt. I think the thing that bothers me the most is everyone rushing off to be with the ones they love and I am home alone. I do realize I could be out helping at a shelter or something but I am not that strong. I am as soft hearted as they come and being there I guarentee I will cry -not for me me but them and no one needs to be depressed.

I will get through this night and I know I just have to keep following my heart and some year I will have the Christmas of my dreams. To so many people here I want to thank you for making me smile this past year. People can call this a porn site all they want but sucks to be them because we know the truth. This blog is the one place in cyberland that I am totally free to be myself and I love it. I love seeing inside peoples lives and knowing that just because I like sex/nudity I am not a freak. Knowing that even though I am not a perfectly sized model people can find me attractive.

To everyone out there enjoy this season for the real reasons - time to spend with family and friends and show how much they mean to you, time to be with your kids and make memories to last a lifetime, and time to just let the season take over and bring out the good in people.

Merry Christmas Everyone! Be safe and have a wonderful holiday
Love Beachy