bighoss2's Blog - page 53

I've written a lot of bad poetry, few 'insightful' pieces, one joke that failed horribly(it was funny dammit), and one act of vandalism. I think this time I will try to paint a different sort of picture. Gents, if you're reading, 'you' does not apply to you ;p



It is just another day, much like the one before, sitting at work watching the hours crawl by. I wish I could say I love my job, but I don't. I'm good at it, but I seem to have always been good at whatever job I was doing. It's a paycheck, so who am I to complain. It affords me the luxury of buying you the occasional stargazer lily. However, you are not here. Here is not where I want to be.

I wish there was a clock on the wall, so I could look up and curse because it wasn't moving. I have to mark my time in 10 minute blocks talking to stupid people. I don't care that your computer is broken. I don't fix computers. I fix internet connections. You know, the service you pay me for. Why are you calling me? Your NN log in has fuck all to do with your internet service working! Ok, lets try this again. How is your computer connected to the modem? Do you have a wired connection, or a wireless connection? Ok, internet explorer is not going to give us the answer we need. We need to determine if your computer has a connection to the modem. Is there a wire running from your computer to the modem? Yes, I understand internet explorer says page cannot be displayed. We need to focus on the computers connection right now, not internet explorer. I swear to God if you say 'internet explorer cannot display webpage' one more time, I'm driving to your house and fucking you up! One by one they come in until the last moron is sated and my day in gulag is complete. Now I can get to you, where I want to be.

Fuck that mutt who cut me off, and that asshole truck driver. Mr. Policeman and his speed trap can sit and spin as well. I am home, and there you are. This whole train wreck of a day vanishes. I still can't believe that seeing you on the other side of the door has this affect on me. I could stare at you for hours and never tire. Captivation, adoration, love call it what you will. I could stay lost in this forever. I think, however, it is time to see, if I can help you become lost.

Come here. Let my large hands caress your lovely face. Feel my fingertips slowly trace along your jawline, softly lifting your chin, gently tipping your head back. Just one brief tender kiss to give my lips what they have craved all day. My chest lurching slightly, almost struggling for air as I leave that breathless moment. Biting my lower lip slightly as my thumb trails softly over your lovely mouth. My eyes close briefly, for what I promise will be the last time tonight. A soft sigh escapes my lips as my eyes open to meet yours again. Wrapping your small hands in mine, bringing them gently together, lifting them slowly upward, placing a single kiss so it bushes lightly against both index fingers, gazing back over hands and into your eyes. One request, OK?

Look at me. Look into my eyes. I want you, this once, to be able to see yourself through my eyes. Watch how my eyes respond, as my fingertips trail over the silky sleeves of your blouse. Lifting the fabric slightly over your shoulder and smoothing it back down with gentle caress. Fingertips drift softly over your alluring neckline. Watch the dark eyes soften as you tip your face into my hand. My eyes almost wanting to close as your lovely face is cradled in my large hand, my thumb brushing over your lips and cheek. God I want to kiss you. Another audible sigh escaping my lips as fingertips move on to brush the hair from your lovely face. Fingertips savoring all of the lovely contours of your face. Nails cascading lightly down your neck, as deft fingers free the first two buttons of your blouse, brushing the collar away, from enticing flesh. Can you see? There in my eyes, how warm and wonderful the vision before me, how much I want my lips caressing your neck, how I ache feel my teeth passing softly over your flesh instead of my nails. Can you see?

If my eyes close ever in that moment we touch.
It is simply because the vision is too much.
For my mind, this perfect truth too much to endure.
Heaven before my eyes, in my had warmth so pure.
To not only see, but to touch that perfect dream.
Waves wash over silencing my hearts lonely scream.
Warm wave after warm wave, crashing against my soul.
Heart floods in an instant, filling an empty hole.
If my eyes close ever in that moment we touch.
Know that I am loving you and me just that much.

My eyes are old and tired. A beautiful field has become a hazy colorful smear across a blurred canvas. I have never truly seen with my eyes. I've always lived in this haze, but I have seen the most amazing images. My hands are large cludgy brushes, but in my mind, they paint beautiful delicate scenes. I may not see you at a distance, but if I can touch you, I can see deep inside.

I personally have no interest in men dressing in women's clothing, but if that's your thing, have at it. I don't know what the issue is with the posting side. It maybe as simple as NN created a CD side for the purpose of showcasing that fetish. As long as the pics are categorized properly (I have bigger issues with cock shots under the 'women' category), I can save my eyes for pony in a push up bra, I honestly don't see a problem with them on main site. Not my bag, but it doesn't have to be.

You hold me speechless. I cannot form phrases to frame the warmth that washes over me. The words fail me. I cannot tell you the beauty I see. When I close my eyes, the words on the page become meek and meager. It's not fair. It's not fair that I can't touch you. The words are there, in my fingertips, my hands, in my longing embrace. With my eyes, my lips, I could let you see, the wondrous visions where words fail me.

Why are men stupid? When did I miss the memo? So many stories floating about, it's nothing new, and it goes both ways I'm sure. However, I can't bitch about the other side, so I'll stick with what I know. Stop picking something you do not want! If you find a beautiful, warm, caring woman, who yearns for love, and you are only interested in sex then fuck it all go find a woman interested in sex. If you are the male equivalent of a whore, then own it. I own being a shy insecure useless man. You can own being a whorish useless bastard. Stop pretending. 'Don't hate the player, hate the game.' It's not a fucking game. Games are for children. You are not a child. If you must play a game, why not play one where you fuck yourself. Put yourself on the line, kick your own ass, and see how much fun it is.

The bath was fun, but I thought it was time to change out my voice greeting. So, the bath is no more, but feel free to check new greeting.

I was going to work on some pieces (cheap animations) on the ipad, and not being able to find my stylus I go on strike. Someone seriously has eaten my stylus. I have 2 more in the truck, but just to lazy to go out and get them. *hangs head in shame*

Warm, wonderful, and welcoming, the sun caresses your soft subtle skin, like a lover's touch. I do so envy that sun. I want to be the light that washes over you, that slowly stirs and warms you inside, cascading over ever inch of your form. I wish it was my touch that keeps you warm. I want to see your eyes close, just once, basking in my warm glow.

Let me not be lost, but found in this moment.
Now is the time when hearts, minds, and souls relent.

Barely standing, knees weak with anticipation.
Wanting nothing more, why the hesitation?

Light gone, yet before my eyes they still appear.
Lips tender, subtle, soft, beckoning me near.

Lips longing for just one soft simple caress.
One moment, with one kiss, let by mouth confess.