So today, after many years off NN I find myself back on here, attempting to blog daily and posting a couple of pics. I'm not confident to show my body yet, and there are a million dick pics on here so i figured, what's 2 more gonna hurt?! Watched a bit of porn to get things moving then, fuck knows it's hard to take a pic of your dick when you're laying down! Does it get easier with practice?!
Confidence is something I need to improve on. Since my 10 stone weight loss I've had 2 opportunities to get intimate with other women. One woman is my age (ish) and we always manage to cancel on each other at the last minute. I may be paranoid but I'm not sure she really wants to do anything with me. I've seen the other guys she's getting with and they're young and fit and I'm just not in that league!
The other girl was in her mid 20s, we spent a week chatting, we exchanged pics, video messaged each other, she still wanted to meet. I turned up at her house, she was in a gorgeous summer dress, one thing led to... nothing. We drank squash and watched netflix. She "didn't realise I was as big as that". Tbh when you've lost 10 stone and you're still too fat for anyone to do anything with, that's a real kick in the teeth. I bore it with dignity but it really really hurt.
And people will say but you've lost 10 stone, that's amazing you must be so happy but honestly? I want someone else to tell me I'm attractive, not just to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I'm just not as fat as I used to be. Who doesn't want to be considered sexually attractive??!
Yeh it hurt. And it still resounds in my mind.
But life goes on i guess.
Hey what's with this limit on messaging people, that sucks! | 
