while the microscopic egg travels, these poor ova destined to escape, never to meet a swimmer, i am hungry.
hunger - what is there to eat - in the fridge, cupboards, freezer. the market is a dangerous place, choruses of colorful yummy snacks beckoning me, screaming to jump into the cart. to mix with the vegetables and fruit, yogurt, cheese...to contribute to the delinquency of the healthy. chocolate is my siren...just one? impossible!...it's pandora's box that stays open ever after.
at this moment i could eat everything i see and not be satisfied. salt, sugar, caffeine, more sugar, more, more, more!
standing in the open door of the fridge, in my head, i see, i eat...everything. in reality...i'm just standing. letting out the cold air. "you're wasting energy!" i hear mother's echo say. "i know," i answer silently, closing the door.
and, another hunger is obsessive. a southern hunger. obsessive, overwhelming, overpowering...want want want need need need. looked in the closet, under the bed, in the garage and even in the shower...but boys do not hide like a secret christmas present or colorful easter egg. when there is none, there is none. and, no. it's not. it's not the same, at least for me.
so...desires remain. and unquenched, they drift to where they wait and loiter...never far away, like the elusive string of letters that solves a puzzle or the sensual release at the end of a curious finger. | 
