casstess's blog post - on being on NN

Ever since I first joined NN almost ten years ago, this place has bewildered me. Then again, so does the thought that just occurred that I’ve known of NN for almost a third of my life.

What starts out soft, gets hard; what starts out sexy becomes sexual; what starts as social deviance becomes an individual norm. And yes, that is supposed to be a double entendre. Dante would describe the journey into NN depths much more eloquent, but alas, he used up all his talents in the middle ages and could not be here today.

There’s the causal user that stops by for a quick peek, the person who wants to hide the majority of certain shots, and the one that delves right into a specific category. NN has those that become verified and there are ones who have an endless internal debate about whether or not to show their face. There are members that constantly update their status or blogs, NNers that follow the forums and expound for days on topics, and people that enter into the pit and try to just keep up with the scroll. There are the sweet, the dirty, the sexy, the cute. There are the fat, the slim, the shy and the bold. I respect them all (except, in chat, the “25 hot horny male looking for lesbian couple to cam with NOW. You’ll love what you see”. Repeat. PRV. Repeat. ….mod?)

One of the things that got me thinking about this blog was receiving a wonderful PM from one of the people I’ve known the longest here. He said, “I think you were right when you once said that we were much alike. So it is most unfortunate that we are a generation or more apart!” Well, and a big pond, but that’s not the point. The beauty of NN is that so much of society’s mores are thrown out the window. We are able to understand people stripped down to their essence and appreciate them for that. (yeah, yeah, another double entendre; too much of a good thing gets old… or does it?)

Age, size, skin color, hair (or lack thereof), promiscuousness, location, and sexual preference have no bearing here. If you don’t like what you see, you simply move onto something you do, with no hatred or loathing involved. Ah, if only society could be so kind.

But then, of course, when you do make friends here, it follows that by the very nature of NN, that friendship exists outside of expected norms. What is supposed to happen when people have connected and enter into IM? When one calls another on the phone? When members make a date for a photo shoot or more? I find the answer to all of these to be “anything”. For, if we have already chosen to not follow societal norms, than each of us really are making it up as we go along. To me there is nothing more beautiful than creating an endlessly mutable definition of ourselves.

Of course, it naturally follows that after discussing friends, one mentions relationships. What if someone is perhaps 2,676 miles away? I have had many discussions with people regarding how to bring their partner into NN world. (I tried to do so too, but became disgusted when I felt he was just trying to placate me). What about the reverse? To bring a relationship from here to out there, some of those aforementioned societal factors start taking hold.

Moreover, while Dante may be eloquent, I believe Shrek would say we are like onions. Once again, I must apologize; Shrek could not be here today because he’s farting in a bog somewhere talking to his ass. The layers are quite reversed in NN in regards to societal standards. First you see them naked, then you may see their personality in text, and then that special individualized bit of wackiness and bad habits comes out. This type of thing is like being through the looking glass and makes for a very confusing world.

All in all, NN is a wonderful place filled with wonderful people (except you, chat spammer). Although I am a true Aquarian, and my mind is always in the future, every once in a while I do have the capability to explore the past and the present.

“If we weren’t all crazy, we’d just go insane” -J. Buffett