I found out that I have super powers. Yes, truly! I have the power to turn invisible. Now before you start thinking it's time to hire me for birthday parties and barmitvahs. These powers manifest at one place and one place only. I have no ability to control this gift but I'm sure some day with the proper training I could finally live out the dream of anonymity! I discovered my new found power today while at Costco. For some reason as soon as I park people don't seem to see me or anything I'm in contact with. Great for bank heists I'm sure. Anyway, as I was cruising through he aisles I noticed that people wouldn't move themselves to one side or another but would block an entire aisle. Surely they wouldn't do that if they were to see me no one is that rude. People were cutting me off with their carts to get the free samples. I'm positive nobody would be brash enough to cut off a guy pushing a baby in his cart for a quarter sized piece of french bread. For some reason the only people that can see me are the people that work there so, no Costco theft. Check out time and that's never fun at Costco. After waiting for the people to check my receipt an old man bumped my cart out of his way. I was in a line and there was no reason to do it. What really cheesed me off was that I had my daughter in the cart. I let it go as all I could think was that the old guy was going to die within the next year and I should indulge him in his Costco derby regardless of the carnage inflicted on others. Besides, I was still invisible! I realized my gift had gone away when a woman in a giant SUV stalked me for my parking spot. The lady waited 5 minutes as I loaded my stuff and the baby in to the car. Oh well, I guess it's best my ability faded as I'm not sure I wouldn't be influenced by the dark side of the force. Where's the girls locker room? |