depotguy's blog post - huh

Tuesday, September 1, 2009, 4:02:29 AM

I just read JL's blog about hugging. I commented thaat it made me sad in a strange way. I think I know what she means but I think we sometimes read too much into what is a really an uncomplicated act.

I saw a co-worker today who lost his 5 day old baby girl last week and I didn't have words. I just reached out and hugged him. And now, here I am wondering if that made him feel worse. It was completly instinctual for me. I guess I am a hugger.

I think for me a quick hug is a nice way to remind myself that the socially induced "bubble" of personal space needs to continue to be broken down. We keep getting farther and farther from each other. We have all these fears of germs. I say Bring them on!

I remember one of Garrison Keillor's tales from Lake Wobegon on the Prarie Home Companion radio show that really touched me. The pastor from the local (lutheran of course) church was visiting one of the elderly norwegian bachelor farmers. The farmer was at the center of a local ruckus because of the old cars littering his yard. As the pastor got up to leave he reached out to hug the old farmer. The old farmer started to cry and the pastor asked him what was wrong. The old farmer said that he as crying because he couldn't remember the last time anyone had touched him. That made me real sad.

I guess you could put me down in the pro-hug catagory.

Comments

Others Have Said:

xSchadenfreude85x on 1-Sep-09 4:14:35

I'm definitely a hugger:D

mdguy on 1-Sep-09 4:31:56

For me, it's a time-and-place thing. An office environment (a la JL's example)... not the time or place.

Comforting a friend in a time of sadness. I see that much more.

You're both right.

just_looking123 on 1-Sep-09 5:42:15

It is indeed a different meaning.
A hug is ok for me (and sometimes so much more meaningful than words) in a moment of sympathy, comfort.
I myself just need a certain form of connection for giving and receiving hugs.
Even in a situation like you described I think of how I would react, what I would like... and if it's a not so close person who is suffering from a loss, I mostly end up with a caring *I know how you feel* look and a soft stroke on their arm or back.
Again, I do love and want hugs - the more the merrier - I'm just a bit restricted with home I want such a close physical contact.

DicksyChick on 1-Sep-09 9:43:58

I'm a compassionate hugger rather than an affectionate or social hugger. I'm awkward when it comes to those greetings hugs, but I put arm round a stranger the other week because she was crying. It's an instinctive thing for me to do and I think it's as much for me as the other person. I've never really thought about it before.

kricket187 on 1-Sep-09 17:47:20

i love hugs.....simi-hug whore actually. so long as the creepy vibe isn't felt, i'll take one from just 'bout anyone...

thebody2nv on 4-Oct-09 15:36:46

hugging IS good