dziga's blog post - Time to update the blog...

The last two weeks were really hard for me.

My parents came out to visit while I was still trying to work through this stuff.

One day really comes to mind...I was horny as hell for my wife and we went with my parents through some lava fields. The whole way out there I had my hand down her skirt and was massaging her ass. Placed her hand to let her know how hard being sexual with her was making me.

But then we got out of the car and I was with my parents the whole time...hard to come up behind your girl and wrap your hands around one of her breasts and grab her crotch when you know that your parents are just around the bend...

Half of the time I want to work things out with her, the other half I don't even want to think about her...confusing stuff. She called me today and I really didn't have any enthusiasm to talk to her.

At least I haven't done things in a truly bad way...the guy I am living with went through pretty much the same situation. A sexless marriage. He dealt with it in the end by having an affair and writing about it in his journal and leaving his journal open to that page on his living room floor.

I also heard today that my wife's best friend, Deone, went through some bad shit this summer. She went with my wife to Africa and her girlfriend, who is apparently the first person she fell in love with in years, fell in love with Deone's roommate and best friend, Suzanne. Ouch!!!

I have a strange hope that they will fall in love together and that this will help to end all of the confusion.

This is why I am agnostic...a loving god would not pull this shit on us all the time.